NEW_MUSIC / Niamson

Need some fresh new hip hop music in your life? Then I give you Niamson, straight from the BX, the Boogie Down Bronx. Like many kids who grew up being musicheads, Niamson and his friends would use instrumentals and a tape recorder and make music. Whatever it takes, you know? Can’t ever stop some kids with talent and desire.

Niamson is talented enough to have caught the attention of Dame Grease (whom you know from producing tracks for Diddy, Fath Evans, DMX and the Ruff Ryders and more), who gave him an internship. Niamson feels he learned so much from Dame, but especially core basics on how to put music together, format tracks and build records.

The first track I want you to check out is More Than a Little [feat. Danny Light]. The song has Niamson wittily telling a story of love at first sight over a sample of Michael Jackson’s I Can’t Help It. Here it is:



But don’t start thinking that’s all Niamson can do. Being a huge fan of music, he appreciates all genres and doesn’t feel it’s necessary to limit himself to one drama. Check out another track of his, Queen of Hearts [feat. Tony Wink & T.R.U.T.H.].



See what I’m talking about? Niamson compares his songs to watching a film. He’s got a beginning, middle and end and always focuses on the story. Personally, I think he’s going places. Make sure to check out more tracks on his soundcloud!

[© MMXV MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

NEW_MUSIC : MNEK

UPDATED 12/12/13: MNEK has been nominated for a GRAMMY AWARD for the song "Need U (100%)", recorded by Duke Dumont ft. A*M*E* and MNEK! Things are clearly looking up for MNEK!


In the middle of a particularly brutal heat wave this past summer, someone tweeted saying they had heard a cover of Janet’s “That’s The Way Love Goes,” at a spin class by a male artist and stated it was incredible and he needed to find the recording. I figured he should’ve asked the spin teacher, but I’m glad he didn’t because I knew immediately that I needed to hear this cover and I also knew immediately that I was going to love it. I happened to see the reply with the answer and I jumped on over to Soundcloud and I discovered I was right! The cover is amazing.







The artist is MNEK [full name Uzoechi Osisioma Emenike; pronounced M.N.E.K., not M-neck], a 19 year old British/Nigerian singer/songwriter/producer/remixer from South London. You know how everybody’s got to have nine jobs in 2013. Luckily for us, MNEK is awesome at all of his. I spent the next hour listening to other stuff on his Soundcloud page – there are so many wonderful things going on in his music.

The tracks have a definite 90s R&B/house/chill vibe, but they also sound modern as fuck. That 90s feel is less “remember when,” than it is “this is where I come from, but we’re here in the present.” And then there’s his voice! His. Voice. This man is sangin. And he’s not the usual clichéd tenor that rides above pop tracks, his is a full, soulful baritone. His voice is a refreshing change that completely surrounds you, lifts you up and gently sets you back in time for you to keep dancing.



Right now, he’s got a track with Gorgon City, “Ready For Your Love,” that’s burning up airwaves over in England, and is sure to get into the hands of DJs here in the states soon. Check out both the original and the refix, they’re worth it.

He’s got an album coming soon, with a single next year. In fact, MNEK just released a mixtape, "Mixtape, Vernacular", giving an overview of some of his influences and snippets from new tracks. Seems like MNEK is about to make the big leap. OH and before I forget – he’s covered Jennifer Lopez’ “Waiting for Tonight." Jeez Louise. This track is one of a few JLo songs I legitimately love, so it’s crazy that I dig this cover so much. Check it!

[© MMXIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

NEW_MUSIC: Britney Fields

Now you all know I love my EDM, but that’s just one of the kinds of music I love. What I really love is variety, I have love for all genres of music. I think that comes from playing piano and viola and singing since I was little. Lack of variety is also my real problem with mainstream radio in the last decade or a little more – there’s a lot of one genre of music, but not a lot of variety. Back in the early to mid 00’s, it was all about garage rock. And that was cool, but where the hell was the R&B? Now, EDM is all over the airwaves to a degree, and as much as I have loved having it everywhere I've been worried that it would be all we heard. But that doesn’t seem to be the case. EDM has definitely made a name for itself, but its existence has also gotten people interested in making melodic, hopeful music of all genres again. That combined with the state of the world, I think, but I also feel the current state of the world is partially responsible for EDM’s rise. People want hopeful music that feels like love. But I digress. ;)

I got a submission from a young woman, who sings R&B music. Truthfully, I’d say she sangs R&B. She’s originally from Illinois, but since her dad was in the military, she moved around a lot before settling in Georgia. She says she fell in love with music as a wee little girl when she heard Michael Jackson’s “Man in the Mirror.” (I think we all can relate to that!) So now, she’s got a few tracks that are bangin! They’re perfect for the warm weather that is arriving, tho I have a feeling they’d warm you up in chilly weather, you know…?




Tracks are below – before I forget, if you’re in the Atlanta area you may want to set a Google alert to be the first to find out about personal appearance - you won't want to miss it!







Follow Britney on twitter @britneyfields12



[© MMXIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

NEW_MUSIC: Haviland Stillwell

I first met Haviland Stillwell in Atlanta, back when we went to the same school. We weren't in the same class, but word on the street was that she was talented. And she is. But what do I remember most about meeting her for the first time? I remember thinking that this 12 year old girl was the kind of person people would refer to as a "mover and shaker." At twelve. If you know Haviland personally, none of this is a surprise. Haviland is talented as all get out and she's also quite the hard worker. Would you expect any less from someone who's been on the Broadway twice? [Fiddler on the Roof and Les Miserables, thank you very much.] You might also remember her from VH1's Single Ladies.? Or maybe you know her from her Autostraddle series, Unicorn Plan-It Or maybe you caught her on this year's Oscar telecast, singing with the cast of the Les Miserables movie? Or maybe you've been to one of her concerts, and have her album, How I Role? [check out her "Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend"]

Mover. And shaker.



[from her concert at Joe's Pub in NYC]


On top of all that, she’s incredibly generous. When I shot a small role on Unicorn Plan-It, she was directing. [the series is hilarious.] Not only was she at the top of her game regarding all aspects of the story, but she also made a point to keep everyone feeling comfortable so we could all play. There were no ego issues coming from her – in fact, I don’t remember any ego issues coming from anyone on set that day. As you can imagine, it’s rare for things to go that smoothly on set. That kind of generosity of spirit is what you need from your fearless leader and is always great to be around.

So when she told me she was releasing her first original song, I had to hear it immediately. And I was not disappointed. "MKE Maximum Energy" is some serious swirly synth pop goodness. And its lyrics are a wonderfully trippy ride from outer space all the way into our hearts. It talks about love and letting go of fear and coming together - exactly what we need most from dance music. Exactly what we need from all music, if you ask me.



"MKE," is the introduction of a new character - as Ziggy Stardust is to David Bowie, as Sasha Fierce is to Beyoncé, MKE is to Haviland Stillwell. She is "your intergalactic space siren, shooting you with her ray gun, loaded with love."

She means business. Hear the song below, and find out for yourself! You can purchase it. Get out of your chair and dance!

Free Electronic Press Kits template from ReverbNation.com

Haviland has two SoCal shows coming up, in Palm Springs on April 5th at Hunter's and in LA on April 23rd at Rockwell Table and Stage. She'll be performing the new single and songs from her debut, How I Role." Get you tickets now!




Why do this?

[© MMXIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

NEW MUSIC MONDAY: White Christmas!

I love Christmas music. I love the classics, I love pop versions of the classics, I love new Christmas songs, I even dig the cheesy muzak versions you hear in department stores. I love it! I believe it comes from my birthday being in December. As a kid, if I couldn't save up for a new toy with my allowance, I was always told "wait for your birthday." So, by the time we get to Thanksgiving, it's ON.

I know most people are Christmas music purists - only Bing Crosby will do. But I tend to love the remakes the most. For some reason, they remind me of being a little kid and hearing that stuff on the radio. U2 singing "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)?" Fantastic! Mariah Carey's "O Holy Night?!" Are you kidding me?! Christina Aguilera's random-as-hell R&B tracks that are about Christmas? YASSS. Hell, Sarah McLachlan's "I'll Be Home For Christmas," was the first time I even considered the singer wasn't going home for Christmas. And it broke my little heart! In the best way.

So you know I was excited when I heard about a new rock version of the song "White Christmas." Now, we've heard all sorts of versions of that song, it's a CUH-LASSIC. It has to be up there with "The Christmas Song" as one of the most recorded songs ever. This version is by a band from New Hampshire, East is East. So you know they know all about snow!

I've heard some tracks by East is East, and they're quite good. Definitely some of the best music I've heard from an unsigned band lately. Their sound would be categorized by a record store (if those were still everywhere. Remember browsing record stores? I miss that.) they would be called "alternative." Except when you think "alternative," you normally think of cheesy 90s bands trying to capitalize on a "movement." East is East is not reminiscent of that at all, their music is coming from a real place. And even though it's rock music, it's got soul. You know what I mean?

Their version of "White Christmas" is warm and makes you want to cuddle with your sweetheart by the fire until the middle when it breaks loose and they bring it home in a real rollicking way. Like those nights when you're snowed in, sitting by the fire, reading a book on your ipad and all of a sudden that spiked hot chocolate kicks in and it is ON. Oi-oi-oi!

Check it out below, and if you want to purchase it, all proceeds go to UNICEF! (hooray for giving back! It is Christmas, after all - it is better to give than receive...) After you fall in love with that track, check out more of their tracks from their album, Provenance, either on soundcloud, iTunes, or their website. You won't be disappointed.



Find East is East online! Twitter. Facebook.


[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

NEW MUSIC MONDAY: Shoshana Bean!

As a performer who sings, I always love to hear excellent singers. But it goes farther than that, I took piano lessons and played viola before I ever sang in a chorus. My mom, crazy person that she is, taught me to read music starting when I was five. Hell, the only thing that would calm me down when she was pregnant with me was music. Specifically, Stevie Wonder's "Songs in the Key of Life." Specifically "Sir Duke."

Music is in my soul, yo.

I first heard about Shoshana Bean when she was the Elphaba standby for Broadway's "Wicked." Everyone was saying how great she was, everyone. As a standby! She came and did the show in LA, and I somehow missed it, even though it lived here for over a year. And the theater is down the street from my house. I know!

So my first real intro to her singing was in a Seth Rudetsky deconstruction of her in an Actor's Fund charity concert of the musical "Hair." [skip to the 3:50 to hear her go OFF] She's got this incredible belt voice AND a beautiful soprano voice. That's what we call an anomaly.

And then she released a solo album. Superwoman. And on this album, there is a cover of Aretha's "Ain't No Way." And she kills it.

What da fuck....? So her album is aptly titled. Okayyy!

Then I get to see her live. Blues music. While I had the blues. She was so amazing, that at one point in the concert I kinda blissed out listening to her sing. I was dumbfounded, staring off into space. And then the most amazing thing happened. Shoshana Bean recognized this, leaned down - while she was singing - and waved hello to me to snap me out of my trance... And it worked! When She leaned into my field of vision, I could see that she saw that I was enjoying her. And she brought me back to the present.

You know, where she was still singing.

Now, Ms. Bean has an album coming out soon. An Indie record that raised money on Kickstarter. Indie for real. And the first single has been released, "Runnin' Out of Days." It's that bluesy soul sound we all know from the 1960's, yet it also carries a strong modern feel and relevance. This girl is sangin my music, yo.

Those horns are tellin’ a story. You know she’s serious before she even starts singing. And she’s got a happy story to sing about - which is a great feel, especially for this time of year. Check it out below, the single is available on iTunes now!




OH, and Ms. Shoshana just happens to playing Friday nights at Rockwell Table and Stage. And she takes it to CHURCH. Check it:




[MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

N E W _ M U S I C !

So we're starting a new section of Soccerboy in LA today, and it's all about new music! Mostly it'll be some stuff I've found from new and/or indie artists [of all genres], plus new music from established artists, plus some random old stuff we've either forgotten or deserves a fresh listen. This is all about FUN.

But I won't be reviewing music; I'm an artist, not a critic. I'm just celebrating others in their artistic endeavors because I want to live in a world where artists support each other. So if you see it posted here, you know that I'm already digging it.

If you'd like your music to be considered to be featured, email me some links. My email isn't difficult to find.

I'll leave you with a quote by Martha Graham:

"Let's dispel with this idea that the theatre, that dance, that the arts, that humanity, the American people, all things are in desperate shape, sad mendicants of the evening. I reject this entirely, as should you. Those who should survive, will survive. We help those we can. We support those we can, at all times, but we do not wrap ourselves in hair shirts and strap cans in our hands and beg for our survival and seek sympathy for our puny rewards. Art--like life--is a majestic calling, a great adventure, a remarkable opportunity and gift. I resent very much these people who create for themselves artistic sinecures by advocating on behalf of the arts. They have no place in the arts. Create your art; support the art of others. Create a life; support the lives of others. Be a great artist; be a great human. The rewards arrive daily. Do not join clubs to support life and art. Simply live and be an artist."

- Martha Graham [1990]


I'll leave you with a fun little gym banger from Kylie back in 2004. Sweet. Music.





[MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Settle Down [part trois] : TRANSCENDENCE

This is the third part of a story that started just over three weeks ago, when I had a revelation while waiting in line to check out at the grocery store. Then I had wonderful surprise while working last week. It’s actually important to read that first two parts to understand the full scope of this story. G’head – it’ll only take a couple of minutes at most. You’ll enjoy it.


In which things get Bat Shit Crazy.

“See you later…”

That’s what Gwen Fucking Stefani said to me as she left the studio.

It had been a difficult day, and there would be more difficulty to come, but I was on a high. I was managing my energy. I didn’t eat enough lunch and instead drank copious amounts of water, Powerade and snacked on peanuts. And every once in a while, a cookie. I know, I know – refined sugar! Sue me. But it’s the only way to have enough fuel to keep your adrenal glands happy and also not be weighed down by a food coma. I also focused on how I was there to help. When I focus on helping, I tend to have more energy and deliver a better performance.

And I did. I felt good about my work, and I was happy with the energy I was getting from the crew when I was in front of the camera. A delightful experience. We were running late [as we often do on set] and I was worried that I wouldn’t get a chance for my second meditation that day, or the meditation that I’m doing as part of Deepak Chopra’s “21 Day Meditation Challenge.” But I got home just in time to do the short challenge. As I sat down and listened to Deepak’s voice, my brain became silent surprisingly fast. And then, something happened that hasn’t happened in a while in my meditation. As I repeated my mantra, I felt the familiar buzz in the space right above and between my eyes. My third eye awakened. I broke through. Now this buzz isn’t like anything else I’ve experienced. It’s not a feeling of lightheadedness, nor is it the buzz of inebriation. It’s a shimmering feeling of excitement.

Once that shimmering buzz appears, you sort of have to move your consciousness into it to break through. For some, it may be instantaneous. For me, as I slowly plug along in my practice, it’s literally like moving into that space. Making trips back and forth, moving box by box, slowly but steadily – and always focusing on that feeling - until my consciousness is feeling everything through my third eye.

It was beautiful, and I hadn’t had it happen in a while because I think I had gotten a little bit lazy. I had come to expect it to just be there, that it would happen on its own. That is not the case. You have to show up to your meditation every time you practice. So I tripled my efforts. Instead of twenty minutes twice a day, I made a decision to meditate for an hour twice a day. I immediately saw benefits, more presence, more patience [which was given to me as the first part of this story], but I was still looking for legit transcendence.

Mannnn… Did I ever get what I looking for.

I woke up a couple of hours after going to sleep that night. I drank some water, and laid back down. I fell back asleep, or so I thought. While I was sleeping, I felt my third eye open and felt that familiar buzz. I wasn’t sleeping; I was meditating! I focused on the buzz, and went into the silence. I took that train. Just as everything became silent, Gwen Stefani materialized in front of me. Materialized! She was here. I knew I wasn’t dreaming. She didn’t feel like a character in a dream, it was her – we could feel each other’s presence. The feeling was so strong that it was as if we both immediately knew everything about each other; that we were connected.

People who practice transcendental meditation often talk about having visions that are clear as day while they’re meditating. They talk about having people’s spirits appear to them, and talking with the person, and often having the person leave them with some life-altering wisdom. It’s very common for people who have a diligent practice. And I’ve always believed it was possible, it just hadn’t ever happened to me. Yet.

As Gwen Stefani recognized me, we both looked at each other like “This shit is absolutely fucking CRAZY.” Because it was! She and I reached for each other, intertwined our arms and looked out at the Universe as we broke through together. Our touch was electric. As we clasped hands and watched the Universe unfold before us, we both said “Whoa,” at the same time. We saw EVERYTHING. The stars, nebulas, love. As I write this, my forehead is getting that buzz, and my third eye is opening. Tears are flowing down my face. We held on to each other and basked in magnificent love. Words were useless; we had the same thoughts. same-same. And we both knew that as much as we were seeing – we were only being given a miniscule amount. Like something the size of a marble in comparison to the rest of the Universe. But in that marble…

Finally, I understand exactly what Ralph Waldo Emerson was talking about! From his essay Nature [1836]: “Standing on the bare ground – my head bathed by the blithe air, and uplifted into infinite spaces – all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eye-ball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or particle of God.”

What was so mesmerizing was not only what we were seeing, but the way it all felt. While looking out at everything, we could also feel everything. We all know that everything is just made up of molecules, so what really is the difference between things? This is existence. With this, we could feel all the molecules – all the stars, all the fabric, all the light – all the things. Everything felt like love. We were one with all that is.

And all of this while Mercury is in retrograde…?!

It was just so much. So, so much. It was a lot, what we saw…

And then we danced together to the rhythm of the Cosmos, yes we did. Really. And you know what? Gwen was right; I did “see her later.” What’s even crazier is there’s a song on NO DOUBT’S new album [Push and Shove] called Dreaming the Same Dream. Whaaaaaaaaat?! I truly believe she did this on purpose; she shared her love right back at me. But if I wasn’t open to receive it, or aware of this abundance; none of this would have happened.

If this experience makes people think I’m crazy, then call me crazy. All I know for sure is that if this was a dream, then everything is a dream.

You guys. There is so much love out there for us. And inside of us. So. Much. Love. And it’s just waiting for us to connect to it and then ride it. I can’t make this shit up. And if I know one thing, if I can have this kind of experience, then everyone can. Believe me. We just have to be present. If we want to receive all that the Universe has to offer, then we have to be present for the gifts to be delivered. How can we receive anything, if we’re not legitimately here? Everything is possible.

NO DOUBT.





Namasté Muthafuckas!


[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]


Shoutout to my sophomore American Studies in Literature teacher in high school, Catherine Tipton, for introducing me to Transcendentalism. New Romantics, yo.

Settle Down [part deux]

The first part of this story starts just over three weeks ago, when I had a revelation while waiting in line to check out at the grocery store. It’s actually important to read that first part to understand the full scope of this story. G’head – it’ll only take a couple of minutes at most. You’ll enjoy it.


So I’m sitting in the green room, eating lunch on break from shooting on a green screen all day. It’s already been a long day and it’s only lunch. And I woke up exhausted. There are ten of us in the green room, eating pizza and watching FLASHPOINT on TV. After I finish my slice, I get that itchy feeling that I’ve got to get out of there. For no apparent reason. I remember there being a couch down the hall and around the corner, so I grab my phone and head for it. But it’s not there. I completely remember there being a couch, where the hell am I gonna sit?! Since I’m in costume, sitting on the floor isn’t an option, but I see some equipment stacked against the wall a little further down. I worry that I’m moving a little too far away from the green room to hear when we’re called back to set. But I sit on it anyway.

I already know it was a good decision to go there. The interesting thing about shooting is that it really taxes your adrenaline. You have to be at a constant state of readiness, but then you also have to wait. Sometimes they say they’re ready for you and then you have to wait another hour. A big portion of the job is maintaining your energy and focus. I could chill out here alone and get myself back together.

After a few minutes, three men walk out of the door next to me and walk right past me. After they pass, I look up and I immediately recognize them from behind – they’re the guys from the band NO DOUBT. Holy Shit. I love NO DOUBT. Love. And not only have I loved their new song “Settle Down” since it was released, but I also just had a bit of an experience with it in the grocery store just over three weeks ago. Every day since then, I’ve heard that song differently.

I’ve interpreted the song as being about meditation, about being present and checking in with that silence throughout the day. “What’s your twenty, where’s your brain…?” I’ve been meditating every day this year, and I’ve experienced all sorts of abundance because of it. A pop song about meditation?! I mean, come ON! How can you not love that shit?



I immediately get up and run after the guys. I get their attention and they all turn around at the same time. It happened in slow motion. Very. Scorcese. And there they were, three legit rock stars looking at me, waiting for me to speak. “Your new album is dope. I love your music. I love your music,” I said. The second time I said that I love their music, I put my hand over my heart and did a little bow – and I swear on all that’s holy – I could see their spirits receive my gratefulness. And they lit up. Like a Christmas tree! I communicated to them that their work matters to me, that they are good at their jobs. To an artist, that shit is real.

And just like that, they were gone.

As I sat back down, two women came up and stood outside of the room where the guys came out of and I realized… I AM IN THE SAME ROOM WITH GWEN STEFANI. And I knew she would walk out soon. I just knew it. AND SHE DID. I stood up immediately. The two women asked for a photo. I got the camera on my phone ready. As they were thanking her for the picture, I felt the exact same as when I’m about to make an entrance onstage and I’ve just heard my cue. Go. Now. I walked right up to Gwen – who is almost as tall as me in heels – and asked her if she would take a pic with me as well. She is Gorgeous with a capital G, she has a great energy, and she has a generous spirit. You can feel it. She is everything you expect Gwen Stefani to be. She agreed to the pic. I had to ask one of the women to take the pic for me. I just asked two strangers for favors within five seconds. Gwen smiled at my moxie. “Your music has brought a lot of positivity to my life,” I told her. And I put all my love into saying it. While I said it, I crossed my heart. But not like the kids rhyme, I did it like a cross. Then I said, “I’m very grateful for your music.” And DAMN. We had serious eye contact while she listened – how have I always forgotten that she’s got brown eyes? She was listening with every cell in her body, and I saw her receive the information I was telling her like a download. We communicated. Hell, we communed.

And we took the picture. She put her hand on my shoulder! The woman who took the pic smiled really big and said “It’s great.” I thanked Gwen, and she went back into her green room.

I sat back down and just about exploded. I remembered the whole thing about how their song had been on my mind every day since the grocery store revelation, and how I had heard her song “What You Waiting For,” on radio several times since then as well. I was filled with an overwhelming sense of love and abundance that all the hairs on my body stood straight up.

Something is happening. Now.

The thing about meditation, and all thinking really, is that whatever you spend your time thinking about is what you will bring more of into your life. Thinking about success, then more success. Thinking about hope, then more hope. Thinking about love, then more love. Thinking about doubt, then more doubt. Our thoughts are material, everything’s just made up of molecules. And there they all were, right in front of me, after I had been contemplating the hell out of their song. I could not ignore the Universe’s magnificence and perfection.

Just then, she and a colleague walked out past me and down the hall. I didn’t want to demand any more attention from her, so I didn’t want to look up. But I had to. She’s gorgeous. She’s GWEN FUCKING STEFANI! As I looked up, she smiled at me and said “See you later…” With the ellipses. She said it the way you say it to a friend you randomly run into the afternoon of a surprise party for them. You can’t give anything away, but you can’t resist saying something. It was almost a tease. Was Gwen Fucking Stefani playing with me?! SWOON. LE GASP. I DIE.

And just like that, she was gone.

Here’s the pic. I think we look like we’re having a spiritual moment. And that was when Gwen Stefani’s spirit met Malcolm Devine’s spirit. same-same.

Interesting that the show that was on the TV was FLASHPOINT. The definition of a flashpoint is “the temperature at which a particular organic compound gives off sufficient vapor to ignite in air.”

Molecules, bitch!

Ready for this story to get BAT SHIT CRAZY? Click here for Part Trois!

[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Settle Down

It's a gorgeous October Sunday that feels like fall on the east coast, which is beyond rare in LA. I find myself staring into my full refrigerator trying to figure out what to make for lunch. It is full, though none of it is appealing. There's something about the weather that makes me want to drive. And just like that: soup! Perfect.

I hop in the car and am immediately annoyed, which is not rare in LA. People; drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists, seem to be making extra stupid, life-threatening decisions. I hear myself say "What the hell is going on," and realize it's the third time I've said that phrase in as many minutes.

At the store, I am astounded by how inconsiderate the other shoppers are. WHY would you leave your shopping cart in an aisle perpendicular-style? WHY would you back your cart out of an aisle without looking and into other shoppers, knocking them over? WHY would you bring toddlers into the store?!

But seriously, two guys completely shut down the self-checkout when they took the services of the employee when their incompetence put not one, but two - TWO of said terminals out of service.

I just don't think they understand the concept of self-checkout.

As I was waiting, listening to the other people in line making snide comments and giggling out of understanding, I was reminded of something that happened to me in the Wendy's drive thru a few weeks ago.

As I was turning into the parking lot, thinking about glorious melty cheese, the car in front of me wouldn't move. There was a truck stopped in front of the car, but there was more than plenty of room to move around. But the car wouldn't move. I sat there for a good thirty seconds with half my car in the street and half of it in the driveway, which was just enough to stop traffic in both directions. So I did the unthinkable: I honked.

Yet the car wouldn't move. So I honked again.

And just like that, the car finally moved and ordered. After I ordered and was waiting to pay, I noticed that the driver in front of me saw me in her mirror, unbuckled her seat belt, fully got out of her car and proceeded to yell at me.

"You are SO IMPATIENT!! Your life must be so miserable if you cannot wait a few seconds for me to move!!! Do you feel better by honking????!" There was such rage on her face and in her voice. For the first time in my life, I knew exactly what to say to her and I knew she had it coming. Instead I just listened; I waited her out. She paused then gave me the most peculiar look, turned around and got back into her car.

Just as I remembered that, the line at the self-checkout moved and things made sense. It seemed as if the more impatient I was, the more there was to be impatient about. I felt this overwhelming feeling, this presence, suggesting I be patient. And breathe. Even though that woman in the drive thru was being crazy, even though grocery shoppers are inconsiderate and seem to hate using their brains, even though screaming toddlers have meltdowns in the store, and some shoppers really have no business in the self-checkout EVEN THOUGH IT IS COMPLETELY SIMPLE IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN TO ANY STORE IN YOUR LIFE, JUST SCAN THE DAMN ITEMS AND PAY!

Even with the ridiculousness, just be patient. Maybe especially, even.

I wondered – have I ever actually been legitimately patient before? I’ve been silent, sure. I’ve definitely waited without whining. But patient…? Even waiting without aggression isn’t the same as patience.

As I drove home I felt a lightness that made flowers look brighter and an already beautiful sky more spectacular. And I understood that for me to get to where it is I'm going - which is for me to know and for you to find out - patience would have to win out. Otherwise, I might just be creating more to be impatient about.

But more than anything, I felt an overwhelming sense of love.



Ready to have your MIND BLOWD? Check out PART DEUX!

© MMXII MD TOTAL [all rights reserved]

45 Years Today.

Forty-five years ago today Martin Luther King, Jr. made his historic I Have A Dream speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. As we all know, it was a landmark speech whose historical importance cannot be overstated. Period.





It being 45 years ago has been on my mind for the last few days. We have come so far in this country and I am proud of all of the hard work that people of all races have done in order for me to live my life in the way that I do. I’ve also been thinking that 45 years isn’t really that long a time. People still have deeply rooted biases and prejudices that sometimes even they aren’t aware of.

Here’s an example. When I drive from Santa Monica back to Hollywood, I take a short cut through the residential streets of Beverly Hills. It sometimes saves time, but always saves the headache of the traffic on Sunset and Santa Monica Boulevards. Plus, you get to drive through Beverly Hills, generally a pleasant experience. That person that you almost hit at that four way stop was Samuel L. Jackson! Today, as I was making my way through, I crossed a four way stop and saw a LAPD cruiser coming towards me perpendicularly. I thought nothing of it until he turned to follow me. I have learned to trust my feelings and it felt strange. After three more stop signs, he put his lights on and pulled me over. He walked up, asked for my license and registration/insurance then asked me if I owned my car. Weird feelings again. Why ask when you can read it on the registration that I’m handing you? He walks away to enter info in the computer, finds out that I’m “clean,” comes back to my car and asks “Were you just taking a shortcut…?” I tell him yes and that I do it all the time to avoid the traffic on the Boulevards, which satisfies him and he lets me go. He walked off before I had a chance to ask him why he pulled me over.

Why do you think he pulled me over? I am well aware of my skin color and the reputation of the LAPD. The sinking feeling I got as I drove away was not anger, but of disappointment. It was such a cliché.

It only raises questions: How far have we really come in the last 45 years, and how do we proceed from here on out?

All the information is out there, and has been well publicized. Racism and discrimination of any kind isn’t where we want to go. If so, then why do people not make more progressive choices? It has to do with the way we educate ourselves as children and as adults. Not only do we have to keep putting this information out there in schools, but just as importantly (and maybe even more) we have to expose ourselves to more art of all kinds. We also have to give our kids more experiences creating art so that they will be able to understand more of the art that they come across as they grow for the rest of their lives. Great art has the ability to let people see themselves without their own barriers and also lets them see who they could be. That one thing is how people make choices that cause them to grow from the inside out, so that they can be more compassionate to others and to themselves.

That is exactly why I do what I do.



© 2008 MD TOTAL all rights reserved.