Sunday, December 26, 2010

My Holiday Gift to You

Last night after Christmas dinner, we drove from the Bay Area to our family's cabin in Lake Tahoe. Just the two of us. It was nice to drive in the snow, get here and have a White Christmas. Driving in the snow is always peaceful, everything feels so still and silent, even when you're playing music. My brain had a chance to relax for the first time since the day after Thanksgiving. And when my brain relaxes, it chews on things. I went on a little rant on Twitter around 3AM, and it's worth re-posting here.

My Holiday gift to you guys, in the middle of the night.

I'm a good person. Very good. Who's also nice, kind and loving. YET I've been treated like CRAP my ENTIRE life. Mean, bad things said about me- worse things invented about me for social gain, or EGO. For some dumbass reason, I felt I DESERVED to be treated that way. And I'm good, kind, nice and loving. All the time. It's a CHOICE. Then one day you wake up and somehow feel different. I woke and realized that people who are good, kind, nice and loving DON'T deserve to be treated like crap.

So I've been on a mission. And it's named after a concept I learned from my first "real" acting teacher. It's called "FUCK EM." I finally learned that I don't have to take shit from ANYONE (including my mother) if I'm a person who's good, kind, nice and loving. But it IS up to ME to redefine the rules of how I allow people to treat me. YES- I know I'm not normal. I'm creative! I'm NOT conventional! And NO ONE should have to apologize or be punished for being their authentic selves when they're not hurting others.

But when you've given yourself freedom, the people will revolt. Sometimes it's aggressive, which is relatively easy to deal with. Sometimes its passive/aggressive. And dealing with that when you are good, kind, nice and loving is difficult. You'd like to please everyone, but you have to take care of YOURSELF. That's important on so many levels, it's even important on a Darwin level.

So. If some people demand ridiculous things of you, you can say "no, thank you" and you're still good, kind, nice and loving. To move forward, you have to UNDERSTAND that last concept. If someone sets up a request where if you don't acquiesce (look it up), you're an asshole? That is the very definition of a DICK MOVE. They're trying to take advantage of you for personal gain. Period. And often, acquiescing feels like avoiding the passive/aggression, but it's not. It's a way to communicate tacit agreement. No one who is good, kind, nice and loving deserves passive aggression. No one. The only ways to dissolve those kinds of actions are to say "no thank you," and MOVE ON or COMMUNICATE openly with the crazies. It might seem more difficult, but at least you'll sleep well because you will have treated yourself with the same respect you give others. And you deserve that!

If you don't think you deserve that, I invite you to IMMEDIATELY go look yourself in a mirror, look into your eyes and tell yourself that you love YOU. If it feels uncomfortable when you do that, then you've got a lot of work to do, and it all starts in the mirror.

I may be crazy, but I'm also good, kind, nice and loving 365 days of every single year. And THAT is what Christmas is about, right? Don't believe me? S'cool. Daft Punk does. Check out their Face to Face from Discovery.

My gift to you all is this: I give you permission to treat yourself with LOVE. you deserve it - if only cuz I said so! #bestvibesEVER

As always: I said all that for me to hear just as much as I wanted you to hear it. We're all together, and it don't get better than THAT.

Happy Holidays, Y'all! Let's make 2011 AMAZING for EVERYONE.

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