I don't know about you guys, but I LOVE electronic dance music - or EDM as we've been calling it lately. There's something about EDM in comparison to other types of dance music that just feels transcendant. And that feeling is exactly what we need on the dancefloor - and in life - I'm telling you. Now, there's a couple of things to say about EDM before we get to the tracks. Remember how Disco died? Well, it didn't. We just renamed it. And if you really look back, you can see how we've always brought it along since the 70s.
One of the coolest things about Donna Summer's music is that it was far more groundbreaking than most give credit for. Her hit "I Feel Love," is the beginning of EDM. You can hear immediately that it's different from other disco music of the time. Give it a spin while you read this to get your head in the right space. After disco "died," the same techniques and song structures were being used in other genres. Two of the best examples of this are David Bowie's "Let's Dance," (note the latin percussion, the horns and the bass line) and INXS' "New Sensation," (I mean that guitar riff is nothing if it ain't DISCO). As we moved through the 80s, a new genre called house music began to take over underground clubs. And it never left. Thank god.
Now, EDM is beginning to take over pop radio and with good reason. It feels AWESOME. It's also worth mentioning that the way the American mainstream is discovering EDM right now is the way it's been in Europe for quite some time. Rave culture started in Europe in the 80s and never really left. America has flirted with it here and there (Daft Punk, Kylie, and Madonna in general), but we've arrived at a tipping point. I can't say where we're going to go, but I hope America stays in love with EDM. Not as the only genre we listen to, but as something we always listen to. EDM deserves to be here because we will always need to DANCE.
I've made a list of some tracks that I'm feeling right now, and if you wanna hear me talk about the tracks, I go into further detail after that. Have fun. Eat candy. And for the love of all that's holy, play them LOUD. EDM is meant to be heard LOUD.
1. "Raise Your Weapon [Madeon Extended Remix]" Deadmau5, Raise Your Weapon Remixes
2. "I'm Addicted" Madonna, MDNA
3. "Where Have You Been?" Rihanna, Talk That Talk
4. "Titanium" David Guetta ft. Sia, Nothing But the Beat
5. "Levels" Avicii, Levels single
6. "Save the World" Swedish House Mafia, Save The World single
7. "Take Over Control" Afrojack ft. Eva Simons, Take Over Control single
8. "Timebomb" Kylie Minogue, Timebomb single
9. "In the Air" Mogan Page + Sultan + Ned Shepard + BT, In the Air single
"Raise Your Weapon [Madeon Extended remix]" Deadmau5, Raise Your Weapon single
It's important to recognize here this remix is very different from production of the original track, which is dubstep. Madeon's softened grooves are quite literally the opposite of dubstep's staccato. Madeon, being 17 years old and French, counts Daft Punk as serious influences, and it's audible. For some reason, it sounds they way I expected nightclubs to feel like when I was a little kid in the 80s. It's massively uplifting and extremely danceable. Listen to it and see if you immediately want to hear it again. Pay attention to the playoff. It's the producer saying "I know you're loving this song and you don't want it to end so I'm going to give you a minute of me killing it instrumentally to get you used to the idea that it's almost over."
Madeon deserves to be mentioned again here, just because of this live mashup he played, which is called Pop Culture. It's inspiring, to say the least. He plays that damn Launchpad like an instrument! I also love how so many other tracks I love are presented in high relief - there's 39 songs mashed up in three short minutes.
"I'm Addicted" Madonna, MDNA.
This song sounds like drugs. There's just no way around that - I swear it gets my brain to release dopamine, which is exactly what MDMA does. It nails what the beginning of a crush feels like; that period when you just can't stop thinking about that someone. From the aggressive opening riff, you just know you're about to throw down on the dance floor in a serious way. Madonna has said this was the most difficult song to write on the album, and it's no surprise. The song's structure isn't reinventing the wheel, but it is the rare pop song that continues to feel new as it develops yet you're still able to sing along. This song is something else. It should come as no surprise to anyone who's paid even the slightest attention to music in the last thirty years, electronic dance music is what Madonna has excelled at for her entire career. Yet - this happens to be one of the best dance tracks she's ever recorded. Period.
"Where Have You Been" Rihanna, Talk That Talk.
I'll admit to not loving this song when it was first released, but I feel it's a good example of a song that needed a context for it to find its way into my heart. In this case, it's the song's video. The way the guys kill the choreography stayed with me. A few days later, I heard it in the car and the last dance break kinda stuck out. It was that moment where you're driving and your mind is thinking about something then a portion of the song gets through and you hear it - really hear it - for the first time. And I've loved it ever since. This song has a serious journey - it's a workout. The opening chords are so sweet and soft, but Rihanna's vocal has an urgency that betrays where the song is really going to go. She's a siren; in heat. Then the beat drops in and you know she's serious. From then on, the song goes on like it's driving through a storm and does not let up until the cool down. For me, it's all about that last dance break, through the bridge and the outro. But it wouldn't feel so good if everything that preceded it wasn't awesome.
"Titanium" David Guetta ft. Sia, Nothing But The Beat
David Guetta. Talk about someone who's taken over the genre! I find this track to be more interesting than others of his, it also features vocals by Sia. Is there any artist she's worked with whose work wasn't elevated by her presence? I also love hearing her sing this kind of music, her voice has a quality that is exciting and really fits the drive of the track. It opens with just that guitar riff, similar to the Rihanna track I mentioned, and similarly, it betrays its real motive: a beat. Everything that follows is a throw down JAM OF CELEBRATION. And in case you missed the train during the first verse and chorus, it starts over before the second verse to catch any listeners who might have been lazy. Get on board, it says. Ride.
"Levels" Avicii, Levels single.
This was the first Avicii track I heard, and I first heard it in an episode of the underrated and now cancelled "How to Make it in America." The only lyrics happen to be the same sample that Flo Rida used in his track, "Good Feeling." It's used brilliantly here as well. I mean, in just two phrases you understand the entire song. It's about lifting yourself - whether it be your career or something more personal - to another level. See what I did there? At least that's what I think of. It's funny how just some hand claps can drive a beat, isn't it? It's definitely worth mentioning that Skrillex did a remix...
"Save the World" Swedish House Mafia, Save the World single
Any list that talks about EDM has to include Swedish House Mafia - they are HUGE. This song is actually from last summer, but it still rocks. I love this song's simplicity, there's not really a whole lot of instruments going on. That simplicity is what gives it such a soaring feeling - it's refreshing. Imagine hearing this at a music festival on a hot summer night and having the band use one of those fancy machines that spits tiny ice chips into the air! This song is just meant to be played for a huge crowd, you can feel it. There's also an awesome remix of this song that definitely deserves to be mentioned, but it's best understood once you already know the original.
"Take Over Control" Afrojack, ft. Eva Simons. Take Over Control Single
This track touches on a subject that EDM often touches upon - transcendance. It's easy to guess what the lyrics are referring to when they talk about "taking over control," but there's always what Nile Rodgers calls the deeper hidden meaning. For me, this song is about meditation, or connecting to the universe, or connecting to spirit. It's about taking control over your life, and not just waiting for things to happen to you. And by taking control, by connecting to something larger than yourself, you can finally be all of who you really are. Now, I can see how some would feel like that's a bit of a stretch if there weren't SO MANY dance songs that touch upon this subject. Then when you combine the transcendant chord progressions with the idea of actual transcendance, it's ecstatic. Plug it in and turn me on, indeed!
"Timebomb" Kylie Minogue, Timebomb Single
Now Kylie is just coming off an amazing EDM album, Aphrodite. And since she just finished touring that record last year, I was surprised to find out there was new music. Buit it's just a lead single for a greatest hits. We'll have to be patient, but it's okay - this will tide us over. This track is a POP SONG, and it lets you know it means business from the moment it starts, there's no "let's take it slow and then ramp up" thing goin on here. It gets going. I will admit that when I first heard it, I wasn't sold but I found it fun enough to download for my gym mix. After a couple of listens, I was bumping it ALL THE TIME. Part of that is because it's catchy, but hey - I ain't exactly playing the bad shit that's catchy, now am I? I said earlier that this is a pop song, and I mean it in the best way. It's the best piece of candy I've heard in a while, and it talks about everyone's favorite feeling: meeting someone and becoming interested in them. "It's not the end of the world, it's just the start of me and you." I mean, come ON! Just enjoy the ride, suck on a lollipop and dance around your living room to this tonight.
"In the Air" Mogan Page + Sultan + Ned Shepard + BT, In the Air
This is another track that as soon as it starts, you know they mean bizness. The breathy vocals seem to call to the listener as if they were across a long distance. This track is a great example of a staple of EDM - lyrics that speak of feeling that something is about to change, something so palpable you can feel it. And this gets to the heart of what dance music is about in general, to raise people up. That's what dance is about, letting go of all that's holding you back in your life so you can move forward. And on those magical nights at the club or even in your living room, as you're dancing you are physically getting that tension out of your body and it feels good. That feeling of change is so powerful that you can feel it, In The Air.
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved]
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Pilot Season? For Whom?
Pilot Season is that weird time in the beginning of every year where actors go crazy hoping they’ll get a shot at shooting a pilot, hopefully for a broadcast network. And there is a possibility, if only because networks are ordering pilots, and they will be shot and somebody will have to say those words out loud. But just like everything else in Showbiz, it isn’t necessarily as easy as it looks.
Recently I had the pleasure of working on a very successful sitcom, with very well regarded actors. During a break on tape day, I got into a conversation about pilot season with the show’s casting associate and one of the show’s other guest stars that week. The casting associate was talking about how it’s seemingly ridiculous at the beginning of pilot season. The names networks throw out at the first meetings are of such a level that you have to remind yourself not laugh out loud. Sentences such as “Does Brad Pitt want to do a series?” No he doesn’t. He was just nominated for two Oscars. “Clooney?” No. He’ll sell coffee in Japan before he returns to a series. Wait – he already does.
Now, the guest star may not have been a household name, but this actor has been a series regular on two different very successful series and you’d recognize him as “that guy from that show.” That’s nothing to sneeze at, by the way. But he would have to wait for networks to get past all of the movie stars they were courting for series regular roles in the pilots they were ordering before he’d get a chance.
As I stood there eating chocolate mochi and trying to be cool, I realized I’d have to wait even longer than he would before pilot season meant anything to me. But I was not discouraged. I have tools in place so I can be proactive. Actor's Access., Showfax, Casting About, IMDBpro, and the trades [including Deadline, for real] are all great sources of info about pilot orders and castings. But I often ran into a problem of access. There were several times I could know a CD was casting something, but not be able to find out the title from any of the sources. Because without a title, you have nothing. You can’t ask a friend for a copy of the pilot script, you can’t track down a breakdown, and if it’s not listed on Casting About, the casting address for the pilot isn’t available to you.
I know a lot of this sounds like throwing darts and hoping one sticks, but I figure that if I’ve already done work for the day where I know I can get results, what’s the harm of throwing a few darts while I’m watching reruns of 30 ROCK?
And then it hit me – the same advice we’re told ALL the time: Are you ready? If you magically got an audition for a lead in a pilot, are you sharp? When’s the last time you worked on a scene? Are your tools in place? Are your headshots current? Are your reel and your clips up to date with your most recent roles? Because it sure would suck if you did somehow get a chance at a phenomenal gig and you blew it because you haven’t even broken down a scene in weeks or your reel isn’t representative of what’s on your resume.
And we do know this - at some point, the powers that be will have run through all the movie stars, the Emmy winners, the Tony winners, the actors who have already been series regulars and are names around town and they will get to whatever stature you are. How do I know? The actor I was talking about earlier - he's not going to do a four line co-star role on a pilot, he's only looking for regular roles or at least recurring roles at this point in his career. Like I said earlier, somebody is going to have to say the rest of the words in that script. And some of those people will be developmental actors.
I can’t control what information is available to me, but what I can control; I’m making sure I’m getting better at. Today. Because one day, I’ll get the call. And that day, I’ll be READY. Until that day, I’m doing everything I can to make casting directors fans of my work every time I go to an audition. That way, when they do need an actor of my type, I’ll be on their list of who they’re gonna call. And I ain’t talking about Ghostbusters. Unless they’re casting a Ghostbusters pilot or reboot because in that case I’d be a great choice for the Ernie Hudson role. ;)
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
Recently I had the pleasure of working on a very successful sitcom, with very well regarded actors. During a break on tape day, I got into a conversation about pilot season with the show’s casting associate and one of the show’s other guest stars that week. The casting associate was talking about how it’s seemingly ridiculous at the beginning of pilot season. The names networks throw out at the first meetings are of such a level that you have to remind yourself not laugh out loud. Sentences such as “Does Brad Pitt want to do a series?” No he doesn’t. He was just nominated for two Oscars. “Clooney?” No. He’ll sell coffee in Japan before he returns to a series. Wait – he already does.
Now, the guest star may not have been a household name, but this actor has been a series regular on two different very successful series and you’d recognize him as “that guy from that show.” That’s nothing to sneeze at, by the way. But he would have to wait for networks to get past all of the movie stars they were courting for series regular roles in the pilots they were ordering before he’d get a chance.
As I stood there eating chocolate mochi and trying to be cool, I realized I’d have to wait even longer than he would before pilot season meant anything to me. But I was not discouraged. I have tools in place so I can be proactive. Actor's Access., Showfax, Casting About, IMDBpro, and the trades [including Deadline, for real] are all great sources of info about pilot orders and castings. But I often ran into a problem of access. There were several times I could know a CD was casting something, but not be able to find out the title from any of the sources. Because without a title, you have nothing. You can’t ask a friend for a copy of the pilot script, you can’t track down a breakdown, and if it’s not listed on Casting About, the casting address for the pilot isn’t available to you.
I know a lot of this sounds like throwing darts and hoping one sticks, but I figure that if I’ve already done work for the day where I know I can get results, what’s the harm of throwing a few darts while I’m watching reruns of 30 ROCK?
And then it hit me – the same advice we’re told ALL the time: Are you ready? If you magically got an audition for a lead in a pilot, are you sharp? When’s the last time you worked on a scene? Are your tools in place? Are your headshots current? Are your reel and your clips up to date with your most recent roles? Because it sure would suck if you did somehow get a chance at a phenomenal gig and you blew it because you haven’t even broken down a scene in weeks or your reel isn’t representative of what’s on your resume.
And we do know this - at some point, the powers that be will have run through all the movie stars, the Emmy winners, the Tony winners, the actors who have already been series regulars and are names around town and they will get to whatever stature you are. How do I know? The actor I was talking about earlier - he's not going to do a four line co-star role on a pilot, he's only looking for regular roles or at least recurring roles at this point in his career. Like I said earlier, somebody is going to have to say the rest of the words in that script. And some of those people will be developmental actors.
I can’t control what information is available to me, but what I can control; I’m making sure I’m getting better at. Today. Because one day, I’ll get the call. And that day, I’ll be READY. Until that day, I’m doing everything I can to make casting directors fans of my work every time I go to an audition. That way, when they do need an actor of my type, I’ll be on their list of who they’re gonna call. And I ain’t talking about Ghostbusters. Unless they’re casting a Ghostbusters pilot or reboot because in that case I’d be a great choice for the Ernie Hudson role. ;)
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Then that's what the practice is about.
So I’ve been meditating daily since New Years’. Not really a resolution per se, but it just happened that around then is when I all of a sudden had time to meditate first thing in the AM. Or I created it. More on that later. I already had a daily practice of saying affirmations, which is somewhat meditative, but I hadn’t devoted time specifically to just meditating in silence before my affirmations. Every day is not easy; there are times when even just waking my mind is already full of ideas. Some days I feel too lazy to even want to devote just 15 minutes to sitting with my eyes closed in silence with no agenda. They say on days like those, that’s what the practice is about. I try to embrace those days as part of the journey, to not judge them.
It reminds me of working out daily. There are days when I don’t want to work out because my body is legitimately exhausted, that it needs to rest. Then there are the days when I’m just feeling lazy and would rather sit on the couch and watch TV. I used to always tell myself that workouts count twice on days I don’t want to be there, but since meditating daily I think differently.
I only came up with this about the gym while at the gym today. I had zero desire to be there. I didn’t go this morning. Then this afternoon I sat around on the internet – in my gym clothes – for an hour before I left. I even went to Trader Joe’s on the way to the gym to give myself an easy out. But I kept driving. I was waiting for the elevator in my gym's parking lot and almost turned around to go back to my car. Hell, after 25 minutes on the treadmill [out of 55 minutes] I almost turned it off and left. I really did not want to be there. Then the weirdest thing happened. The most beautiful woman got on the stairclimber in front of me. She was FIT. She clearly works out in a way her body responds to positively and eats the right kind of clean food that supports her physical regimen because her body looked like a physical representation of love. As I stared and realized how beautiful she was, I realized I would never have seen her had I never had gone to the gym. Hell, I would never have seen her if I had even gotten off the treadmill when I wanted. I felt lucky. The universe provided her for me to recognize, and just in time. I felt myself saying “thank you” out loud. For the next 30 minutes, I watched her climb those stairs. Not lasciviously mind you, but respectfully. In looking at her, she became more beautiful. But her body was not just beautiful, it was a work of art. She was inspiring.
Then I had a revelation: more than a physical triumph, working out on days I’d rather be lazy is a triumph over old thoughts; over the old way of doing things. Those thoughts that held me back in the past are just fighting for their existence. In fact, those old thoughts are only fighting so diligently because I’ve created new thoughts to take their place!
As I finished my workout I realized how sweaty I was, definitely more than normal. I chalk it up to the thoughts I was working out as well as the calories I burned. It was a fight, but if it is, it’s just what the practice is about that day.
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
It reminds me of working out daily. There are days when I don’t want to work out because my body is legitimately exhausted, that it needs to rest. Then there are the days when I’m just feeling lazy and would rather sit on the couch and watch TV. I used to always tell myself that workouts count twice on days I don’t want to be there, but since meditating daily I think differently.
I only came up with this about the gym while at the gym today. I had zero desire to be there. I didn’t go this morning. Then this afternoon I sat around on the internet – in my gym clothes – for an hour before I left. I even went to Trader Joe’s on the way to the gym to give myself an easy out. But I kept driving. I was waiting for the elevator in my gym's parking lot and almost turned around to go back to my car. Hell, after 25 minutes on the treadmill [out of 55 minutes] I almost turned it off and left. I really did not want to be there. Then the weirdest thing happened. The most beautiful woman got on the stairclimber in front of me. She was FIT. She clearly works out in a way her body responds to positively and eats the right kind of clean food that supports her physical regimen because her body looked like a physical representation of love. As I stared and realized how beautiful she was, I realized I would never have seen her had I never had gone to the gym. Hell, I would never have seen her if I had even gotten off the treadmill when I wanted. I felt lucky. The universe provided her for me to recognize, and just in time. I felt myself saying “thank you” out loud. For the next 30 minutes, I watched her climb those stairs. Not lasciviously mind you, but respectfully. In looking at her, she became more beautiful. But her body was not just beautiful, it was a work of art. She was inspiring.
Then I had a revelation: more than a physical triumph, working out on days I’d rather be lazy is a triumph over old thoughts; over the old way of doing things. Those thoughts that held me back in the past are just fighting for their existence. In fact, those old thoughts are only fighting so diligently because I’ve created new thoughts to take their place!
As I finished my workout I realized how sweaty I was, definitely more than normal. I chalk it up to the thoughts I was working out as well as the calories I burned. It was a fight, but if it is, it’s just what the practice is about that day.
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Attempting the Joey-ness.
While in this interesting portion of my life where I apparently [sometimes] have time to do the things I want and need to get done I find myself in a sort of conundrum. Of sorts. As much as I’d like to get everything on my to-do list done as soon as possible, I also feel a need to stretch it out a little as to make sure I get up by 7AM every day. That’s a serious thing that has to be done when you work seven days a week slash every day is Saturday. Or Tuesday. As it were. I find myself going back and forth between days where I spend hours and hours running around being ultra productive and days where the gym and reading a play is all that got “done.”
Zen Joey would tell me that doing hours and hours of productivity really is a week’s worth of production; it’s not meant for one day. Otherwise you become sociopathically anxious on a day when you actually deserve to chill. I don’t know. All I do know is that coffee grinds won’t clear themselves from the kitchen counter, screenplays won’t write themselves, and my acting homework for damn sure won’t explore itself.
I close my eyes and breathe. Zen Joey’s face appears in my mind and smiles not unlike the Mona Lisa. “See. You’re in it. Keep it moving.”
At once I feel grateful and pretentious. Navel gazing 900 – not for non-majors.
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
Zen Joey would tell me that doing hours and hours of productivity really is a week’s worth of production; it’s not meant for one day. Otherwise you become sociopathically anxious on a day when you actually deserve to chill. I don’t know. All I do know is that coffee grinds won’t clear themselves from the kitchen counter, screenplays won’t write themselves, and my acting homework for damn sure won’t explore itself.
I close my eyes and breathe. Zen Joey’s face appears in my mind and smiles not unlike the Mona Lisa. “See. You’re in it. Keep it moving.”
At once I feel grateful and pretentious. Navel gazing 900 – not for non-majors.
[© MMXII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
Sunday, December 11, 2011
On Holidays During Financially Leaner Years
Let’s face it. Some years, we’re just not as financially liquid as we’d all like to be when the holidays roll around. This is one of those years for us. For me, it’s especially daunting because my birthday is December Ninth. And a grown ass adult, birthdays aren’t about getting presents the way we used to when we were kids. This year, I’m reminding myself that birthdays and the holidays are all about the spirit of the occasion this year.
It’s not like I lost my savings in the stock market or anything awful like that, but I did run into some financial... realities. The role I booked in Republic of Two [one of several projects I shot this year] required that I get back into SAG to be able to perform in the movie. While I joined SAG in 1999, there’s a long, drawn-out and frustrating story about how I lost my membership, and when it was time to come back, I had to pay $3,000. That’s American dollars, btw. Luckily, SAG gave me three months to pay the balance, and it was due at the end of October. Near the beginning of October, I had to replace the clutch in my car. $1500. YIKES.
If you’ll notice, these abnormal expenses were both in the same month. On top of that, my sweetheart is in grad school and paying the final year of tuition, which is the most expensive year. As you can see, financially, we’re a little bit lean right now. Which also means that we’re not able to visit my family in Georgia for Christmas this year [we rotate every year, so the last time was in 2009]. That hurts. But– we have each other! And we’re lucky enough to be able to drive to my in-laws’ place, because they’re in California.
Because of all this, I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks trying to get us into the spirit, reminding us both that it’s really about being together, being with friends and family, and simply celebrating how awesome it is to be alive. Funnily enough, everything was immediately more bearable as soon as we put up Christmas decorations.
What I did not expect was this – not expecting lavish gifts and only looking for the spirit of the day made my birthday amazing.
Birthdays are an overwhelming experience with facebook. So many people wishing you an awesome day and an awesome year ahead fills the heart right up. If that makes me sappy, then call me sappy - s'okay. Also, an old friend [when we were friends, we were inseperable, and we were as close to each other as I’ve been with anyone in my entire life], wrote me. Life brings people together and pulls them apart, and we just haven’t been communicating for the last few years, and she’s rarely on FB, so... You know the drill. Best of all, she called me by the nickname she gave me, and had the grace to use asterisks on all the inside letters just so I was the only person who knew. That was one killer gift.
My laptop died. It was born in 2005, so I’m beyond happy with the service it gave me, but I’m not exactly able to rush to the Apple store this weekend and get a new one, so it is sad. I was at Melrose Mac, seeing if they could fix it when they told me it was unfixable. I kinda knew it might be unfixable [hell, the guy at the Genius Bar literally laughed in my face when I brought it to them. Apple calls it ‘Vintage.”], so it wasn’t a complete surprise. Then, on the overhead music in the store, Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke” came on. Sir Duke is more than just an amazing song to me. When mom was pregnant with me she would often play “Songs in the Key of Life.” When “Sir Duke” would come on, I would go crazy in her tummy. Dancing full out in her uterus. I tend to associate that song with that story and hearing it on my birthday at Melrose Mac felt like a good omen about rebirth, about starting over. New.
I may be in the middle of a renaissance.
My godmother emailed a pic to my mom and I from the time period when I was about seven and my mom was about thirty. It was taken in Central Park in New York City at the Alice and Wonderland statue, on one of my first trips to the city. Not only are we both rocking some serious 80s fashion, but you can see in my face and body language that I am falling in love with that city. And I really was – I very much remember that. But, because of bad storage issues, my mom lost most of her photos of us from when I was a kid. [we had no idea photos needed to be stored for archival, we just put them away. Photo Archival is IMPORTANT, y’all - even digital pics.] Because of this, that pic is an amazing gift; anything we can get our hands on is literally priceless. And the pic is GOOD.
One of the things my sweetheart brought home was Hershey's Kisses. We don’t [ahem, normally] keep candy in the house, so it was surprisingly fun. Also, because my mom is a chocolate fanatic, I grew up with Hershey's Kisses always being in the house. I mean, they were a constant on the grocery list like milk, butter and eggs. They were around so constantly that I completely lost interest in them. Even when they are so amazing. If you like Hershey's chocolate, you know exactly what I'm talking about. What was weird is that my mom was going through Hershey's Kisses the most at the time when that pic was taken. I felt such a large sense of symmetry to look at that pic and remember that time and have Hershey's Kisses melt in my mouth all at once that it was difficult to ignore. Pretty fucking awesome, I tell you what.
Funnily enough, even though I was fully paid up with SAG six weeks ago, it took a while for SAG card to arrive in the mail for some reason. BUT - it came in the mail on my birthday. On my birthday! It’s difficult not to feel the universe is saying something to me with that gesture. And you know what? I’ll take it! It's plastic like a credit card [not paper like AEA or AFTRA cards] and it is shiny. Most of all, it makes two important statements: Malcolm Devine is a professional performing artist and he’s been working in SAG projects since 1999.
These were phenomenal birthday gifts. If I were expecting large material things, I would have completely missed their exquisite subtlety. I feel like Hugh Grant at the end of a romantic comedy – “Love actually IS all around!” That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to get a huge LCD TV, a new computer, a new couch and a new car with a big red bow on it someday. But, this ain’t bad, y’all. This ain’t bad at all.
[© MMXI MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
It’s not like I lost my savings in the stock market or anything awful like that, but I did run into some financial... realities. The role I booked in Republic of Two [one of several projects I shot this year] required that I get back into SAG to be able to perform in the movie. While I joined SAG in 1999, there’s a long, drawn-out and frustrating story about how I lost my membership, and when it was time to come back, I had to pay $3,000. That’s American dollars, btw. Luckily, SAG gave me three months to pay the balance, and it was due at the end of October. Near the beginning of October, I had to replace the clutch in my car. $1500. YIKES.
If you’ll notice, these abnormal expenses were both in the same month. On top of that, my sweetheart is in grad school and paying the final year of tuition, which is the most expensive year. As you can see, financially, we’re a little bit lean right now. Which also means that we’re not able to visit my family in Georgia for Christmas this year [we rotate every year, so the last time was in 2009]. That hurts. But– we have each other! And we’re lucky enough to be able to drive to my in-laws’ place, because they’re in California.
Because of all this, I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks trying to get us into the spirit, reminding us both that it’s really about being together, being with friends and family, and simply celebrating how awesome it is to be alive. Funnily enough, everything was immediately more bearable as soon as we put up Christmas decorations.
What I did not expect was this – not expecting lavish gifts and only looking for the spirit of the day made my birthday amazing.
Birthdays are an overwhelming experience with facebook. So many people wishing you an awesome day and an awesome year ahead fills the heart right up. If that makes me sappy, then call me sappy - s'okay. Also, an old friend [when we were friends, we were inseperable, and we were as close to each other as I’ve been with anyone in my entire life], wrote me. Life brings people together and pulls them apart, and we just haven’t been communicating for the last few years, and she’s rarely on FB, so... You know the drill. Best of all, she called me by the nickname she gave me, and had the grace to use asterisks on all the inside letters just so I was the only person who knew. That was one killer gift.
My laptop died. It was born in 2005, so I’m beyond happy with the service it gave me, but I’m not exactly able to rush to the Apple store this weekend and get a new one, so it is sad. I was at Melrose Mac, seeing if they could fix it when they told me it was unfixable. I kinda knew it might be unfixable [hell, the guy at the Genius Bar literally laughed in my face when I brought it to them. Apple calls it ‘Vintage.”], so it wasn’t a complete surprise. Then, on the overhead music in the store, Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke” came on. Sir Duke is more than just an amazing song to me. When mom was pregnant with me she would often play “Songs in the Key of Life.” When “Sir Duke” would come on, I would go crazy in her tummy. Dancing full out in her uterus. I tend to associate that song with that story and hearing it on my birthday at Melrose Mac felt like a good omen about rebirth, about starting over. New.
I may be in the middle of a renaissance.
My godmother emailed a pic to my mom and I from the time period when I was about seven and my mom was about thirty. It was taken in Central Park in New York City at the Alice and Wonderland statue, on one of my first trips to the city. Not only are we both rocking some serious 80s fashion, but you can see in my face and body language that I am falling in love with that city. And I really was – I very much remember that. But, because of bad storage issues, my mom lost most of her photos of us from when I was a kid. [we had no idea photos needed to be stored for archival, we just put them away. Photo Archival is IMPORTANT, y’all - even digital pics.] Because of this, that pic is an amazing gift; anything we can get our hands on is literally priceless. And the pic is GOOD.
One of the things my sweetheart brought home was Hershey's Kisses. We don’t [ahem, normally] keep candy in the house, so it was surprisingly fun. Also, because my mom is a chocolate fanatic, I grew up with Hershey's Kisses always being in the house. I mean, they were a constant on the grocery list like milk, butter and eggs. They were around so constantly that I completely lost interest in them. Even when they are so amazing. If you like Hershey's chocolate, you know exactly what I'm talking about. What was weird is that my mom was going through Hershey's Kisses the most at the time when that pic was taken. I felt such a large sense of symmetry to look at that pic and remember that time and have Hershey's Kisses melt in my mouth all at once that it was difficult to ignore. Pretty fucking awesome, I tell you what.
Funnily enough, even though I was fully paid up with SAG six weeks ago, it took a while for SAG card to arrive in the mail for some reason. BUT - it came in the mail on my birthday. On my birthday! It’s difficult not to feel the universe is saying something to me with that gesture. And you know what? I’ll take it! It's plastic like a credit card [not paper like AEA or AFTRA cards] and it is shiny. Most of all, it makes two important statements: Malcolm Devine is a professional performing artist and he’s been working in SAG projects since 1999.
These were phenomenal birthday gifts. If I were expecting large material things, I would have completely missed their exquisite subtlety. I feel like Hugh Grant at the end of a romantic comedy – “Love actually IS all around!” That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to get a huge LCD TV, a new computer, a new couch and a new car with a big red bow on it someday. But, this ain’t bad, y’all. This ain’t bad at all.
[© MMXI MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
On OKLAHOMA! [the musical]
As an actor, it’s important that I keep reading screenplays and plays. Screenplays are a little easier to read without seeking them out, I read new ones each time I audition for a project. I have to seek out plays a little more, but I’m always happy I did.
Recently, I reread the classic musical Oklahoma! and it blew my mind. It was completely different than I remembered from seeing productions before, or even when I worked on scenes in Musical Scene Study class back in my conservatory days. It’s not that the productions I saw were bad, or that I misunderstood it when I worked on the scenes myself… It just wasn’t fully understood. But this time, so much more was clear.
Every time I had seen the show before, it was all presented so simply. Curly the cowhand and Laurey should be together and Jud the hired hand is clearly gross and not worthy of Laurey, he’s the villain. We love Laurey because she accepts Jud’s invitation to the box social, and doesn’t go with Curly [even though she wants to] because that means that she is a good girl who doesn’t go back on her word. It’s all so very nice. But there always seemed to be something missing from the experience for me. It also makes the entire show hinge upon whether or not Laurey is polite – will she break her word and go to the social with Curly?
That’s it?!
As soon as I began reading Oklahoma! this time, everything felt much more urgent. And questions popped up immediately. What if Curly is arrogantly toying with Laurey about asking her to the social instead of being teasingly cute? And then she says yes to Jud when he asks her… The audience doesn’t get to see that scene, but I always assumed she says yes to Jud because Curly has said (teasingly or toyingly) that he won’t ask her. Reading it this time, I realized that if she didn’t want to go with Jud she easily could’ve made an excuse. Everyone in town would have fully understood and would not have thought any less of her. It’s Jud. Ew.
Meanwhile, we’ve met Will and Ado Annie who have reminded us that we’re all so wonderfully alive, with a world of feelings inside of us that need to be expressed physically. I won’t digress into an argument about what that sexuality represents in the show, but it’s clear that it’s about change. People are allowing themselves to physically express their desires – and that change feels dangerous. There’s a scene between Laurey and Ado Annie where Ado Annie explains how when her motor gets running, she “Can’t Say No.” She asks Laurey for recognition and Laurey says she has no idea what Ado Annie is talking about, but… what if she does? What if Laurey is vexed by this very issue right now?
And then, for me, all hell broke loose.
Yes, Laurey loves Curly. Laurey loves Curly the way love is written about – butterflies, the stars and the moon – and that love is real. But what if Jud makes her feel alive inside; makes her feel like a grown woman? Sexually? And what if, as overwhelming and scary and new that feeling is to her – she loves it? What if it excites her just as much as her feelings for Curly do…?
All of a sudden Jud feels like he is quite misunderstood. And Laurey really needs those smelling salts to tell her what the heck she should do. Then the show becomes about this girl becoming a woman dealing with a very difficult choice about how she’s going to live her life.
All of that happens before we even get to the first real scene with Jud! Up till then all we’ve had is a couple of lines from him. [Shoutout to R & H for letting everyone else have their say about Jud before he really even arrives. My man Jud is a man of mystery.] Before this reading of the show, I felt the scenes between Jud and Curly in the Smoke House where Jud lives were meant to be funny, and show how dumb Jud is. But this time, when I read the scene description I was taken aback. Jud is the hired hand and lives in the old smokehouse, yet he decides to put tools on the walls and have barrels of nails and screws in his room. I never realized he chooses that as decoration. He works on a farm; we know they have a toolshed because this is the smokehouse. [For all y’all whose families didn’t work on farms, smokehouses are for smoking meat and not where you keep your non meat-smoking tools. Especially if you no longer smoke meat and have your hired hand live there.] Jud just loves them so much that he wants them as decoration. It’s a small detail, but it’s enough to let the audience know Jud loves working with his hands. Really loves it.
In the scenes in the Smoke House, I never fully understood how dirty and manipulative Curly was being while calling it “playing” with Jud. All the joking about how if Jud was dead people would finally admit to being Jud’s friend, but only when he’s dead. Curly even has the audacity to fully suggest that Jud kill himself. WHAAAAT?! Yes, he plays as if he’s joking and sings a funny song about it but… When you think of Jud as someone that Laurey might actually like a lot, it doesn’t seem unreasonable for Curly to kinda feel like Jud being dead would be a real solution to all his problems. As my Grandma would say when a bull tried to mate with a sow, “That ain’t right!”
All Poor Jud can do is wallow in sadness and sing a song about how misunderstood and lonely he is. And it is heartbreaking.
Even with all these thoughts, I wasn’t completely sold on thinking of the show in this way until that last scene with Laurey and Jud, where he asks her why she won’t ever let herself be alone with him. Jud gives a monologue that’s as full of love as any leading man ever has. He shows a real love for Laurey that’s an astonishing betrayal of how soulful he is. He proves he’s a complicated man that’s capable of a beautiful kind of love that’s just like the love Laurey thinks she feels for Curly. And that scares Laurey terribly because it’s not simple or easy to understand. Why would it scare her so if she didn’t feel similarly about him…?
All of a sudden I truly understood why this show is a classic. It’s dirty. It’s gritty. It’s raw. Most of all, though – it’s real. And I never understood that before.
Recently, I reread the classic musical Oklahoma! and it blew my mind. It was completely different than I remembered from seeing productions before, or even when I worked on scenes in Musical Scene Study class back in my conservatory days. It’s not that the productions I saw were bad, or that I misunderstood it when I worked on the scenes myself… It just wasn’t fully understood. But this time, so much more was clear.
Every time I had seen the show before, it was all presented so simply. Curly the cowhand and Laurey should be together and Jud the hired hand is clearly gross and not worthy of Laurey, he’s the villain. We love Laurey because she accepts Jud’s invitation to the box social, and doesn’t go with Curly [even though she wants to] because that means that she is a good girl who doesn’t go back on her word. It’s all so very nice. But there always seemed to be something missing from the experience for me. It also makes the entire show hinge upon whether or not Laurey is polite – will she break her word and go to the social with Curly?
That’s it?!
As soon as I began reading Oklahoma! this time, everything felt much more urgent. And questions popped up immediately. What if Curly is arrogantly toying with Laurey about asking her to the social instead of being teasingly cute? And then she says yes to Jud when he asks her… The audience doesn’t get to see that scene, but I always assumed she says yes to Jud because Curly has said (teasingly or toyingly) that he won’t ask her. Reading it this time, I realized that if she didn’t want to go with Jud she easily could’ve made an excuse. Everyone in town would have fully understood and would not have thought any less of her. It’s Jud. Ew.
Meanwhile, we’ve met Will and Ado Annie who have reminded us that we’re all so wonderfully alive, with a world of feelings inside of us that need to be expressed physically. I won’t digress into an argument about what that sexuality represents in the show, but it’s clear that it’s about change. People are allowing themselves to physically express their desires – and that change feels dangerous. There’s a scene between Laurey and Ado Annie where Ado Annie explains how when her motor gets running, she “Can’t Say No.” She asks Laurey for recognition and Laurey says she has no idea what Ado Annie is talking about, but… what if she does? What if Laurey is vexed by this very issue right now?
And then, for me, all hell broke loose.
Yes, Laurey loves Curly. Laurey loves Curly the way love is written about – butterflies, the stars and the moon – and that love is real. But what if Jud makes her feel alive inside; makes her feel like a grown woman? Sexually? And what if, as overwhelming and scary and new that feeling is to her – she loves it? What if it excites her just as much as her feelings for Curly do…?
All of a sudden Jud feels like he is quite misunderstood. And Laurey really needs those smelling salts to tell her what the heck she should do. Then the show becomes about this girl becoming a woman dealing with a very difficult choice about how she’s going to live her life.
All of that happens before we even get to the first real scene with Jud! Up till then all we’ve had is a couple of lines from him. [Shoutout to R & H for letting everyone else have their say about Jud before he really even arrives. My man Jud is a man of mystery.] Before this reading of the show, I felt the scenes between Jud and Curly in the Smoke House where Jud lives were meant to be funny, and show how dumb Jud is. But this time, when I read the scene description I was taken aback. Jud is the hired hand and lives in the old smokehouse, yet he decides to put tools on the walls and have barrels of nails and screws in his room. I never realized he chooses that as decoration. He works on a farm; we know they have a toolshed because this is the smokehouse. [For all y’all whose families didn’t work on farms, smokehouses are for smoking meat and not where you keep your non meat-smoking tools. Especially if you no longer smoke meat and have your hired hand live there.] Jud just loves them so much that he wants them as decoration. It’s a small detail, but it’s enough to let the audience know Jud loves working with his hands. Really loves it.
In the scenes in the Smoke House, I never fully understood how dirty and manipulative Curly was being while calling it “playing” with Jud. All the joking about how if Jud was dead people would finally admit to being Jud’s friend, but only when he’s dead. Curly even has the audacity to fully suggest that Jud kill himself. WHAAAAT?! Yes, he plays as if he’s joking and sings a funny song about it but… When you think of Jud as someone that Laurey might actually like a lot, it doesn’t seem unreasonable for Curly to kinda feel like Jud being dead would be a real solution to all his problems. As my Grandma would say when a bull tried to mate with a sow, “That ain’t right!”
All Poor Jud can do is wallow in sadness and sing a song about how misunderstood and lonely he is. And it is heartbreaking.
Even with all these thoughts, I wasn’t completely sold on thinking of the show in this way until that last scene with Laurey and Jud, where he asks her why she won’t ever let herself be alone with him. Jud gives a monologue that’s as full of love as any leading man ever has. He shows a real love for Laurey that’s an astonishing betrayal of how soulful he is. He proves he’s a complicated man that’s capable of a beautiful kind of love that’s just like the love Laurey thinks she feels for Curly. And that scares Laurey terribly because it’s not simple or easy to understand. Why would it scare her so if she didn’t feel similarly about him…?
All of a sudden I truly understood why this show is a classic. It’s dirty. It’s gritty. It’s raw. Most of all, though – it’s real. And I never understood that before.
Monday, January 3, 2011
ENTIRE MONTH OFF: Roundup!
So it’s been a while since I mentioned The Entire Month Off, hasn’t it? I will say this: the list I wrote was far too much for me to accomplish in one month and still go to my day job and go to auditions and perform. BUT – since I wrote a list that was too ambitious, I accomplished more in November than I ever do.
The first two weeks were overwhelming. I was just trying to knock everything out as fast as possible. Then, the week before Thanksgiving, I got the stomach flu. And it was AWFUL. All I will say is that every single bit of fuel that was in my body was evacuated. And it took a long time for my tummy to be able to digest anything easily.
Two interesting things happened when I got the flu. First, I was forced to eat sublimely clean food because my digestive system simply would not take anything that wasn’t – and that was one of the items on my list! I continued to eat that way until Thanksgiving, when all hell broke loose (but my system was ready for that kind of food). After the holiday, it was easy to go back to eating good, efficient fuel. Having the stomach flu forced me to really listen to what my body was saying it wanted. It seems that’s the key to truly fueling your body in a way that is clean and efficient. And that includes figuring out when to put the fork down.
Second, when I had the tummy flu, I could not be in a rush to do anything – I simply didn’t have the energy. I’d be reading one of the books on my list and was having fun! And then I remembered that I only chose to put things on the list that actually made me happy to do them.
And that was the whole point of the experiment!
After that, I went easier on myself. I went the long way ‘round, as they say. Instead of working on this monologue for a specific audition, I was adding it to my repertoire. It made me realize that I should spend a good while getting it right. To actually rehearse it, not just memorize it. That’s the only way it would serve well as an audition piece anyway. And by working diligently and taking your time, you give yourself the biggest chance to have this monologue make you a better actor.
One thing that was abundantly clear is when you tell the Universe that you’re going to work hard, it supplies you with more work to work hard on. And that’s a phenomenal thing! To have more opportunities come your way simply because you’re open to working? I’ll take it! But it’s clear that only happens when you’re truly committed to doing work.
And now the big secret.
This whole experiment was a test for a larger idea. Could I work this way for longer? I can tell you I’ve been working like this ever since November 1, 2010, when this all started. It was my rehearsal for New Year’s Resolutions. This is my resolution: to work like this all year long, and see where it takes me. I know for sure that I’ll get more thing done that I need to get done. At the very least, I know I’ll be choosing to do things that make me happy. And that should never be discounted.
Try it out yourself. You’ll be glad you did. Trust me. ;)
Malcolm
[©MMXI MD TOTAL, all rights reserved]
The first two weeks were overwhelming. I was just trying to knock everything out as fast as possible. Then, the week before Thanksgiving, I got the stomach flu. And it was AWFUL. All I will say is that every single bit of fuel that was in my body was evacuated. And it took a long time for my tummy to be able to digest anything easily.
Two interesting things happened when I got the flu. First, I was forced to eat sublimely clean food because my digestive system simply would not take anything that wasn’t – and that was one of the items on my list! I continued to eat that way until Thanksgiving, when all hell broke loose (but my system was ready for that kind of food). After the holiday, it was easy to go back to eating good, efficient fuel. Having the stomach flu forced me to really listen to what my body was saying it wanted. It seems that’s the key to truly fueling your body in a way that is clean and efficient. And that includes figuring out when to put the fork down.
Second, when I had the tummy flu, I could not be in a rush to do anything – I simply didn’t have the energy. I’d be reading one of the books on my list and was having fun! And then I remembered that I only chose to put things on the list that actually made me happy to do them.
And that was the whole point of the experiment!
After that, I went easier on myself. I went the long way ‘round, as they say. Instead of working on this monologue for a specific audition, I was adding it to my repertoire. It made me realize that I should spend a good while getting it right. To actually rehearse it, not just memorize it. That’s the only way it would serve well as an audition piece anyway. And by working diligently and taking your time, you give yourself the biggest chance to have this monologue make you a better actor.
One thing that was abundantly clear is when you tell the Universe that you’re going to work hard, it supplies you with more work to work hard on. And that’s a phenomenal thing! To have more opportunities come your way simply because you’re open to working? I’ll take it! But it’s clear that only happens when you’re truly committed to doing work.
And now the big secret.
This whole experiment was a test for a larger idea. Could I work this way for longer? I can tell you I’ve been working like this ever since November 1, 2010, when this all started. It was my rehearsal for New Year’s Resolutions. This is my resolution: to work like this all year long, and see where it takes me. I know for sure that I’ll get more thing done that I need to get done. At the very least, I know I’ll be choosing to do things that make me happy. And that should never be discounted.
Try it out yourself. You’ll be glad you did. Trust me. ;)
Malcolm
[©MMXI MD TOTAL, all rights reserved]
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