Soccerboy in LA

On Holidays During Financially Leaner Years

2011-12-11T19:49:00.001-08:00

Let’s face it. Some years, we’re just not as financially liquid as we’d all like to be when the holidays roll around. This is one of those years for us. For me, it’s especially daunting because my birthday is December Ninth. And a grown ass adult, birthdays aren’t about getting presents the way we used to when we were kids. This year, I’m reminding myself that birthdays and the holidays are all about the spirit of the occasion this year.

It’s not like I lost my savings in the stock market or anything awful like that, but I did run into some financial... realities. The role I booked in Republic of Two [one of several projects I shot this year] required that I get back into SAG to be able to perform in the movie. While I joined SAG in 1999, there’s a long, drawn-out and frustrating story about how I lost my membership, and when it was time to come back, I had to pay $3,000. That’s American dollars, btw. Luckily, SAG gave me three months to pay the balance, and it was due at the end of October. Near the beginning of October, I had to replace the clutch in my car. $1500. YIKES.

If you’ll notice, these abnormal expenses were both in the same month. On top of that, my sweetheart is in grad school and paying the final year of tuition, which is the most expensive year. As you can see, financially, we’re a little bit lean right now. Which also means that we’re not able to visit my family in Georgia for Christmas this year [we rotate every year, so the last time was in 2009]. That hurts. But– we have each other! And we’re lucky enough to be able to drive to my in-laws’ place, because they’re in California.

Because of all this, I’ve been spending the last couple of weeks trying to get us into the spirit, reminding us both that it’s really about being together, being with friends and family, and simply celebrating how awesome it is to be alive. Funnily enough, everything was immediately more bearable as soon as we put up Christmas decorations.

What I did not expect was this – not expecting lavish gifts and only looking for the spirit of the day made my birthday amazing.

Birthdays are an overwhelming experience with facebook. So many people wishing you an awesome day and an awesome year ahead fills the heart right up. If that makes me sappy, then call me sappy - s'okay. Also, an old friend [when we were friends, we were inseperable, and we were as close to each other as I’ve been with anyone in my entire life], wrote me. Life brings people together and pulls them apart, and we just haven’t been communicating for the last few years, and she’s rarely on FB, so... You know the drill. Best of all, she called me by the nickname she gave me, and had the grace to use asterisks on all the inside letters just so I was the only person who knew. That was one killer gift.

My laptop died. It was born in 2005, so I’m beyond happy with the service it gave me, but I’m not exactly able to rush to the Apple store this weekend and get a new one, so it is sad. I was at Melrose Mac, seeing if they could fix it when they told me it was unfixable. I kinda knew it might be unfixable [hell, the guy at the Genius Bar literally laughed in my face when I brought it to them. Apple calls it ‘Vintage.”], so it wasn’t a complete surprise. Then, on the overhead music in the store, Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke” came on. Sir Duke is more than just an amazing song to me. When mom was pregnant with me she would often play “Songs in the Key of Life.” When “Sir Duke” would come on, I would go crazy in her tummy. Dancing full out in her uterus. I tend to associate that song with that story and hearing it on my birthday at Melrose Mac felt like a good omen about rebirth, about starting over. New.

I may be in the middle of a renaissance.

My godmother emailed a pic to my mom and I from the time period when I was about seven and my mom was about thirty. It was taken in Central Park in New York City at the Alice and Wonderland statue, on one of my first trips to the city. Not only are we both rocking some serious 80s fashion, but you can see in my face and body language that I am falling in love with that city. And I really was – I very much remember that. But, because of bad storage issues, my mom lost most of her photos of us from when I was a kid. [we had no idea photos needed to be stored for archival, we just put them away. Photo Archival is IMPORTANT, y’all - even digital pics.] Because of this, that pic is an amazing gift; anything we can get our hands on is literally priceless. And the pic is GOOD.

One of the things my sweetheart brought home was Hershey's Kisses. We don’t [ahem, normally] keep candy in the house, so it was surprisingly fun. Also, because my mom is a chocolate fanatic, I grew up with Hershey's Kisses always being in the house. I mean, they were a constant on the grocery list like milk, butter and eggs. They were around so constantly that I completely lost interest in them. Even when they are so amazing. If you like Hershey's chocolate, you know exactly what I'm talking about. What was weird is that my mom was going through Hershey's Kisses the most at the time when that pic was taken. I felt such a large sense of symmetry to look at that pic and remember that time and have Hershey's Kisses melt in my mouth all at once that it was difficult to ignore. Pretty fucking awesome, I tell you what.

Funnily enough, even though I was fully paid up with SAG six weeks ago, it took a while for SAG card to arrive in the mail for some reason. BUT - it came in the mail on my birthday. On my birthday! It’s difficult not to feel the universe is saying something to me with that gesture. And you know what? I’ll take it! It's plastic like a credit card [not paper like AEA or AFTRA cards] and it is shiny. Most of all, it makes two important statements: Malcolm Devine is a professional performing artist and he’s been working in SAG projects since 1999.

These were phenomenal birthday gifts. If I were expecting large material things, I would have completely missed their exquisite subtlety. I feel like Hugh Grant at the end of a romantic comedy – “Love actually IS all around!” That’s not to say I wouldn’t like to get a huge LCD TV, a new computer, a new couch and a new car with a big red bow on it someday. But, this ain’t bad, y’all. This ain’t bad at all.

On OKLAHOMA! [the musical]

2011-11-29T18:49:00.000-08:00

As an actor, it’s important that I keep reading screenplays and plays. Screenplays are a little easier to read without seeking them out, I read new ones each time I audition for a project. I have to seek out plays a little more, but I’m always happy I did.

Recently, I reread the classic musical Oklahoma! and it blew my mind. It was completely different than I remembered from seeing productions before, or even when I worked on scenes in Musical Scene Study class back in my conservatory days. It’s not that the productions I saw were bad, or that I misunderstood it when I worked on the scenes myself… It just wasn’t fully understood. But this time, so much more was clear.

Every time I had seen the show before, it was all presented so simply. Curly the cowhand and Laurey should be together and Jud the hired hand is clearly gross and not worthy of Laurey, he’s the villain. We love Laurey because she accepts Jud’s invitation to the box social, and doesn’t go with Curly [even though she wants to] because that means that she is a good girl who doesn’t go back on her word. It’s all so very nice. But there always seemed to be something missing from the experience for me. It also makes the entire show hinge upon whether or not Laurey is polite – will she break her word and go to the social with Curly?

That’s it?!

As soon as I began reading Oklahoma! this time, everything felt much more urgent. And questions popped up immediately. What if Curly is arrogantly toying with Laurey about asking her to the social instead of being teasingly cute? And then she says yes to Jud when he asks her… The audience doesn’t get to see that scene, but I always assumed she says yes to Jud because Curly has said (teasingly or toyingly) that he won’t ask her. Reading it this time, I realized that if she didn’t want to go with Jud she easily could’ve made an excuse. Everyone in town would have fully understood and would not have thought any less of her. It’s Jud. Ew.

Meanwhile, we’ve met Will and Ado Annie who have reminded us that we’re all so wonderfully alive, with a world of feelings inside of us that need to be expressed physically. I won’t digress into an argument about what that sexuality represents in the show, but it’s clear that it’s about change. People are allowing themselves to physically express their desires – and that change feels dangerous. There’s a scene between Laurey and Ado Annie where Ado Annie explains how when her motor gets running, she “Can’t Say No.” She asks Laurey for recognition and Laurey says she has no idea what Ado Annie is talking about, but… what if she does? What if Laurey is vexed by this very issue right now?

And then, for me, all hell broke loose.

Yes, Laurey loves Curly. Laurey loves Curly the way love is written about – butterflies, the stars and the moon – and that love is real. But what if Jud makes her feel alive inside; makes her feel like a grown woman? Sexually? And what if, as overwhelming and scary and new that feeling is to her – she loves it? What if it excites her just as much as her feelings for Curly do…?

All of a sudden Jud feels like he is quite misunderstood. And Laurey really needs those smelling salts to tell her what the heck she should do. Then the show becomes about this girl becoming a woman dealing with a very difficult choice about how she’s going to live her life.

All of that happens before we even get to the first real scene with Jud! Up till then all we’ve had is a couple of lines from him. [Shoutout to R & H for letting everyone else have their say about Jud before he really even arrives. My man Jud is a man of mystery.] Before this reading of the show, I felt the scenes between Jud and Curly in the Smoke House where Jud lives were meant to be funny, and show how dumb Jud is. But this time, when I read the scene description I was taken aback. Jud is the hired hand and lives in the old smokehouse, yet he decides to put tools on the walls and have barrels of nails and screws in his room. I never realized he chooses that as decoration. He works on a farm; we know they have a toolshed because this is the smokehouse. [For all y’all whose families didn’t work on farms, smokehouses are for smoking meat and not where you keep your non meat-smoking tools. Especially if you no longer smoke meat and have your hired hand live there.] Jud just loves them so much that he wants them as decoration. It’s a small detail, but it’s enough to let the audience know Jud loves working with his hands. Really loves it.

In the scenes in the Smoke House, I never fully understood how dirty and manipulative Curly was being while calling it “playing” with Jud. All the joking about how if Jud was dead people would finally admit to being Jud’s friend, but only when he’s dead. Curly even has the audacity to fully suggest that Jud kill himself. WHAAAAT?! Yes, he plays as if he’s joking and sings a funny song about it but… When you think of Jud as someone that Laurey might actually like a lot, it doesn’t seem unreasonable for Curly to kinda feel like Jud being dead would be a real solution to all his problems. As my Grandma would say when a bull tried to mate with a sow, “That ain’t right!”

All Poor Jud can do is wallow in sadness and sing a song about how misunderstood and lonely he is. And it is heartbreaking.

Even with all these thoughts, I wasn’t completely sold on thinking of the show in this way until that last scene with Laurey and Jud, where he asks her why she won’t ever let herself be alone with him. Jud gives a monologue that’s as full of love as any leading man ever has. He shows a real love for Laurey that’s an astonishing betrayal of how soulful he is. He proves he’s a complicated man that’s capable of a beautiful kind of love that’s just like the love Laurey thinks she feels for Curly. And that scares Laurey terribly because it’s not simple or easy to understand. Why would it scare her so if she didn’t feel similarly about him…?

All of a sudden I truly understood why this show is a classic. It’s dirty. It’s gritty. It’s raw. Most of all, though – it’s real. And I never understood that before.

ENTIRE MONTH OFF: Roundup!

2011-01-03T16:37:00.000-08:00

So it’s been a while since I mentioned The Entire Month Off, hasn’t it? I will say this: the list I wrote was far too much for me to accomplish in one month and still go to my day job and go to auditions and perform. BUT – since I wrote a list that was too ambitious, I accomplished more in November than I ever do.

The first two weeks were overwhelming. I was just trying to knock everything out as fast as possible. Then, the week before Thanksgiving, I got the stomach flu. And it was AWFUL. All I will say is that every single bit of fuel that was in my body was evacuated. And it took a long time for my tummy to be able to digest anything easily.

Two interesting things happened when I got the flu. First, I was forced to eat sublimely clean food because my digestive system simply would not take anything that wasn’t – and that was one of the items on my list! I continued to eat that way until Thanksgiving, when all hell broke loose (but my system was ready for that kind of food). After the holiday, it was easy to go back to eating good, efficient fuel. Having the stomach flu forced me to really listen to what my body was saying it wanted. It seems that’s the key to truly fueling your body in a way that is clean and efficient. And that includes figuring out when to put the fork down.

Second, when I had the tummy flu, I could not be in a rush to do anything – I simply didn’t have the energy. I’d be reading one of the books on my list and was having fun! And then I remembered that I only chose to put things on the list that actually made me happy to do them.

And that was the whole point of the experiment!

After that, I went easier on myself. I went the long way ‘round, as they say. Instead of working on this monologue for a specific audition, I was adding it to my repertoire. It made me realize that I should spend a good while getting it right. To actually rehearse it, not just memorize it. That’s the only way it would serve well as an audition piece anyway. And by working diligently and taking your time, you give yourself the biggest chance to have this monologue make you a better actor.

One thing that was abundantly clear is when you tell the Universe that you’re going to work hard, it supplies you with more work to work hard on. And that’s a phenomenal thing! To have more opportunities come your way simply because you’re open to working? I’ll take it! But it’s clear that only happens when you’re truly committed to doing work.

And now the big secret.

This whole experiment was a test for a larger idea. Could I work this way for longer? I can tell you I’ve been working like this ever since November 1, 2010, when this all started. It was my rehearsal for New Year’s Resolutions. This is my resolution: to work like this all year long, and see where it takes me. I know for sure that I’ll get more thing done that I need to get done. At the very least, I know I’ll be choosing to do things that make me happy. And that should never be discounted.

Try it out yourself. You’ll be glad you did. Trust me. ;)

Malcolm

[©MMXI MD TOTAL, all rights reserved]

My Holiday Gift to You

2010-12-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

Last night after Christmas dinner, we drove from the Bay Area to our family's cabin in Lake Tahoe. Just the two of us. It was nice to drive in the snow, get here and have a White Christmas. Driving in the snow is always peaceful, everything feels so still and silent, even when you're playing music. My brain had a chance to relax for the first time since the day after Thanksgiving. And when my brain relaxes, it chews on things. I went on a little rant on Twitter around 3AM, and it's worth re-posting here.

My Holiday gift to you guys, in the middle of the night.

I'm a good person. Very good. Who's also nice, kind and loving. YET I've been treated like CRAP my ENTIRE life. Mean, bad things said about me- worse things invented about me for social gain, or EGO. For some dumbass reason, I felt I DESERVED to be treated that way. And I'm good, kind, nice and loving. All the time. It's a CHOICE. Then one day you wake up and somehow feel different. I woke and realized that people who are good, kind, nice and loving DON'T deserve to be treated like crap.

So I've been on a mission. And it's named after a concept I learned from my first "real" acting teacher. It's called "FUCK EM." I finally learned that I don't have to take shit from ANYONE (including my mother) if I'm a person who's good, kind, nice and loving. But it IS up to ME to redefine the rules of how I allow people to treat me. YES- I know I'm not normal. I'm creative! I'm NOT conventional! And NO ONE should have to apologize or be punished for being their authentic selves when they're not hurting others.

But when you've given yourself freedom, the people will revolt. Sometimes it's aggressive, which is relatively easy to deal with. Sometimes its passive/aggressive. And dealing with that when you are good, kind, nice and loving is difficult. You'd like to please everyone, but you have to take care of YOURSELF. That's important on so many levels, it's even important on a Darwin level.

So. If some people demand ridiculous things of you, you can say "no, thank you" and you're still good, kind, nice and loving. To move forward, you have to UNDERSTAND that last concept. If someone sets up a request where if you don't acquiesce (look it up), you're an asshole? That is the very definition of a DICK MOVE. They're trying to take advantage of you for personal gain. Period. And often, acquiescing feels like avoiding the passive/aggression, but it's not. It's a way to communicate tacit agreement. No one who is good, kind, nice and loving deserves passive aggression. No one. The only ways to dissolve those kinds of actions are to say "no thank you," and MOVE ON or COMMUNICATE openly with the crazies. It might seem more difficult, but at least you'll sleep well because you will have treated yourself with the same respect you give others. And you deserve that!

If you don't think you deserve that, I invite you to IMMEDIATELY go look yourself in a mirror, look into your eyes and tell yourself that you love YOU. If it feels uncomfortable when you do that, then you've got a lot of work to do, and it all starts in the mirror.

I may be crazy, but I'm also good, kind, nice and loving 365 days of every single year. And THAT is what Christmas is about, right? Don't believe me? S'cool. Daft Punk does. Check out their Face to Face from Discovery.

My gift to you all is this: I give you permission to treat yourself with LOVE. you deserve it - if only cuz I said so! #bestvibesEVER

As always: I said all that for me to hear just as much as I wanted you to hear it. We're all together, and it don't get better than THAT.

Happy Holidays, Y'all! Let's make 2011 AMAZING for EVERYONE.

[copywright MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Awards Season Has Begun with a Bang!!!

2010-11-22T10:56:00.000-08:00

Hope you all are well! As you know, I’ve been working my ass off becoming a working actor for a while now. I’ve had a blast so far, even if most people on the planet haven’t yet seen the work I’ve done. I’ve performed in some of America’s most beautiful, historic theaters, and I’ve also performed in places where I had to use the same bathroom as the audience. I’ve even had costume changes in alleys! Really. But it’s all been incredibly fulfilling, bringing great work to people who work hard for their cash, and choose to spend it at a theatre.

Well, my hard work is beginning to pay off! I was nominated for two Broadway World SoCal Awards!
• “Best Actor in a Play (resident non-equity),” AND
• “Best Actor in a Musical (resident non-equity)!”

The best part is that these are fan awards, so you all can VOTE for Malcolm Devine! And while we’re at it, you’re allowed to urge all of your friends to vote for me too… I’m kidding! Except I’m not kidding at all. Or am I…?

VOTE HERE

Winning an award like this could actually help me a LOT. It would help me get into audition rooms I wouldn’t have been able to get into previously, and winning would give me a little momentum going into pilot season!

I’m also the CLEAR underdog in this competition – even though I’m up for two awards, I’m up against actors who have been on the cover of LA Weekly and have had pieces done on them in the LA Times. Don’t we all love to root for the underdog?! That’s definitely ME.

Also, any awards I might win would also be awesome for the two theaters that put on these shows. Small, struggling theaters have such a difficult time getting attention even when they’re putting up awesome work. This is a great way to give to these theaters for FREE!

REMEMBER: you can only vote ONCE PER EMAIL ADDRESS!

AND, If you’re so inclined you can also vote for these fantastic folk – they all (including the theaters that put on these shows) could use the help!

Best New Work (resident non equity) for “From the East to the West”
Best Revival (resident non equity) for “A Christmas Carol”
Best Actress in a Play (resident non equity) for Nickella Moschetti
Best Actress in a Musical (resident non equity) for Diana Martin
Best Ensemble (resident non equity) for “From the East to the West”
Best Scenic Design (resident non equity) for Trefoni Rizzi

Entire Month Off: Week Two Roundup

2010-11-17T17:12:00.000-08:00

YOU MEAN I HAVE TO DO THIS SHIT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY?!

Now that's just me being funny. BUT... it's only funny because it's true.

An Entire Month Off: Week One Roundup

2010-11-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

If I had known how many more emails this to do would require me to send/reply to, I’d never have done this.

But seriously! It’s overwhelming. And really stressful, y’all!

Or at least that’s how I honestly felt for the first three days, but then I turned a corner. I started making some strides in the work I had already done. All of a sudden, while working on the first of the two monologues, I began to feel the conflict my character was feeling. And that always feels like the shining star – the light that brings you the rest of the way home. And once you’ve seen that, you know you can do the rest of the work, even though you’re still at the very beginning.

And then even the annoying work began to feel good. On November first, I sent out emails to all the people who owed me footage from the projects I shot this year. Now, I put that on the list because I’d been trying to get footage from people all year long and had not been successful. Yet. It’s one thing to tell me in detail what stage of post production the project is in, and that’s completely understandable and most importantly, it’s honest. But when I begin to hear repeated excuses, it’s time to step up my game. And this is where it gets difficult.

I’m not interested in burning any bridges, and I’d gladly work with all of the people I worked with this year again – BUT – I also deserve the footage I was promised when I signed on to the project. You have to figure out how to remain likable while getting people to deliver what they’ve promised. It’s funny… people forget that most of us keep business email threads. They don’t seem to know that before I emailed them, I re-read all of our previous emails, so I know when they’re using the same excuses again. Even excuses that were outlandish in the first place were re-used! S’okay. Remain nice and likable and step up your game. You know what? After hours of emailing back and forth, I got one of my directors to agree to give me my footage. I literally went onto a studio lot, brought my hard drive into this director’s office and waited while he uploaded my footage. And that, my friends, is what we call producing.

That was also the first item crossed off my list.

I was surprised to see what kind of things came up in my personal life. I’ve had no less than three situations I had to handle that in the past, I would have exploded at the people challenging me. But there’s something about being on your grind that allows you to remain present in the face of opposition and not commit any murders. And I, for one, am thankful for that!

At the end of the day, when you’ve chosen to demand so much of yourself, the peripheral distractions don’t seem so challenging. In fact, they almost help you see exactly where you are.

Define yourself through opposition.

The List: An Entire Month Off

2010-10-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

Well. I spent most of last week [before I posted the Month Off post] trying to figure out if I really had the stones to attempt something so ambitious, in front of everyone. I knew once I posted it, I’d have to follow through. And honestly, that scared me. What if I failed? In front of everyone? I mean, it would be a lot of work, but that was the point. As soon as I realized it scared me, I posted it.

I ain’t getting taken down by fear. And neither should you.

So I sat down and made the list. What would I really want to accomplish? What would be the most helpful to me immediately, and also going into pilot season? I’m going to share my list as an example. Which, by the way, is also a bit scary, because now I’m accountable – but again, that’s the point. This is what I wrote:

•learn two new monologues
•learn and investigate a new song [which, ahem, is really just learning a third monologue]
•write one song
•write that “untitled” short
•re-organize the office space
•get to new, more accomplished level of fitness
•eat sublimely healthy food
•go through and donate clothes to Goodwill
•get footage from all outstanding projects and get them on my reel
•write outline of “untitled” screenplay idea
•find and apply for three paying jobs where I can work from home on my own schedule
•read two plays
•read one book
•spend more time with friends and family

Writing this list got me excited. This is not a list of things I want to have done, this is a list of things I actually want to do. Best of all, they all would have a positive impact on both my personal life and my career. This is a good thing.

As soon as I got this list written, I knew it would take some detailed planning and scheduling for the month. I mean – it’s not enough for me to say “Get to new, more accomplished levels of fitness.” I had to choose what I was after, what I was going to do, and for how many days each week.

The same with “Eating sublimely healthy food.” It’s easy to go to the grocery store and buy all clean food, but that’s not enough. I would have to think about meals. And snacks. Now I love to tear it up in the kitchen, but what if I have a long day and don’t want to fully cook a meal? Ordering pizza is not a viable option, I’d have to have something already in place, even for those times. Is that when I break out the Trader Joe’s frozen Pad Thai? It’s a good start.

As I was about to get down with the details, the power cord on Macbook crapped out. Oy. I went to the Apple store at the Grove at 5:30 on a Saturday evening. Angelenos know exactly what level of hell I walked into. But this was important – I needed my computer to work so I could get going on my scheduling. I had a feeling that if I didn’t give myself a good chance to actually plan this, I was sure to fail. The trip to the Apple Store was surprisingly easy. Plus, you don’t have to wait in line for a cashier because every single employee can cash you out with their ipod. Not bad, Apple.

The new cord did not fix the problem. I had known I needed a new battery for a while, but had not gotten around to buying one. No matter. I went back to the Apple store the very next morning to pick up a battery, but they were out of stock. In fact, after fourteen phone calls, I learned that none of the Apple stores within 60 miles of Los Angeles had it in stock. I would have to order online. And have it… delivered. What is this, the sixties?

I ordered the battery and felt dejected. Whyyyyy was this happening to meeeeeeeeee? And just when I’m trying to accomplishhh so muccchhhhhhh?! Okay, I wasn’t that whiney, but I got close to that. Then I decided: Not only was this not going to stop me, it wasn’t even going to slow me down. I still remember how to write, I could write my plans down! Do you hear me, Universe?! I AM DOING THISSSSSSSSSS!

I needed pizza. I drove to my favorite place in LA, which is not close at all so I had time to think while I drove. Not having the usage of my computer really did feel like a slap in the face, it was not the energy I wanted at the absolute beginning stages of this experiment.

And then, I let it all go. I was still going to do it all anyway, I might as well succumb to the experience, and observe what it brought up. I relaxed. Music in my car sounded clearer. Colors outside my car window were brighter. In short, I fell in.

It seemed that by choosing to do this experiment, I had stirred something up in my world. Things were changing. I came home feeling elated. I sat down and wrote out the things I planned to do on my Entire Month Off. I can’t lie, my handwriting sucks - but writing this list in pencil on a spiral notebook felt transcendent. Visceral. Even erasing an idea was work. Surprisingly, I remembered the entire list, and writing it down made it feel real.

Maybe I had to write it down to fully remember that the point of this entire exercise was Old Fashioned Hard Work? And you know what? Maybe my computer needed a new battery to keep up with all this work I’m diving into. Maybe it was a sign of a new beginning. All I knew for sure was that I was definitely doing this. And apparently, it just might change my life.

This is a good thing. Get into it.

An Entire Month Off

2010-10-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

What would you do with an entire month off? Would you go out of town? Take a class? Would you learn a new monologue? Or two? Re-organize your office space? Finally get that screenplay idea down on paper? Devote more time to fitness? Spend more time with friends and family? Go to museums? Learn new recipes? Shoot a short? Shoot a web series? Overhaul and/or re-investigate your audition material? Edit your reel? Send out a targeted headshot mailing? Get new headshots?

Or would you dust off your “2010 New Year’s Resolutions” list and see how far you’ve come?

With a month off, I feel like I could get a lot done. It’s just that pesky job that takes up all my time. With a month off, I’d even have time for romantic walks on the beach. Wouldn’t I...?

As I was thinking about how I would afford to take an entire month off, I remembered that the Universe abhors a vacuum. If one month off was all I chose to pursue, the Universe could give it to me in a number of ways that had nothing to do with my own desires. I decided to make a list of the things I would be taking a month off to do. It’s always better to make choices in the direction you want to go, right?

What would I do with a month off from my survival job, really? I would definitely still go to auditions and shoot anything I booked. Obviously. That’s my career. But what about all the other time?

As I began to make this list, I got excited. These were all things I actually wanted to do with my time and were all things I wanted to accomplish. Best of all, they were things I could accomplish. With a little ambition.

After I made this list, I thought about how I would afford a month off to do all of this. Sure, it was possible and could be worked out. I would just have to work more at the survival job to make the money I’d use for an entire month off. It would take some time, but it could be done! But while I’d be saving up for this month off, I wouldn’t have time to accomplish any of my own goals until that month off.

What if I didn’t take a month off… and still did the things I would’ve done in that time… anyway?

As soon as I thought it, I knew I had to do it. And I should start as soon as possible. I decided I’d take November. I have ten days to get myself ready. This would not be easy, but wouldn’t I feel more fulfilled…? Doing this in November would also work as a big push through the end of the year. I’d have a shot at meeting the goals I set for myself in January. I could finally enjoy the holidays without feeling like I got lazy after Halloween.

The Plan:

I would take November “off,” from November first through December fifth. It would go five days into December to account for the five days around Thanksgiving (and for some neat reason this year, Nov 1 is a Monday and December 5 is a Sunday five weeks later. There are no coincidences). I’d plan my weeks and weekends around the tasks I’d set for myself AND work at my survival job. I’d use an app on my cell phone to schedule these events and set alarms to make sure I got going.

And then I wondered: Why I should do this? It’s not like I’m lazy. I already attend to my career, right? I work my ass off! Why should I work even harder than I already do?

Because, if you want to keep getting what you’re getting, keep doing what you’re doing – as they say. By all accounts, I can’t complain with the goals I have surpassed this year. But I’ve only gotten to wherever I am right now because I did more this year than last. And it’s time to climb to the next level, so it’s time to do even more.

Are you feeling me?

The Challenge:

Join me: From November 1, 2010 through December 5, 2010 – let’s take the entire month off! We’ll make a list of the things we want to accomplish if we had taken the entire month off from our survival jobs. Then we will prioritize that list, and bite off a little more than we think we could chew without actually taking a month off from our survival jobs. But it has to be more than we think we could actually do. We would have to be ambitious. That’s the only way we could get done more than usual.

Best of all? We all get to do it together and share our experiences with each other. If it gets difficult, we can all come back here for inspiration! We can all comment and talk about how we’re handling our journey. If we want too. Or not. At the very least, I promise you I will document my journey here. So even if you’re skeptical about doing it now, you’ll be able to track my own progress and decide if you’d like to do it later.

I just have a feeling that now is an excellent time to put the cart before the horse. And nothing bad has ever come from working our collective asses off, has it…?

In the next post I’ll go into my own list of things I’m choosing to accomplish during my month off, and I’ll even talk about how I’m going to schedule myself.

This is a good thing. Get into it.

"15 Albums in 15 Minutes."

2010-09-12T11:01:00.001-07:00

Well, by now either you've been tagged in a note or you've seen this note floating down your facebook news feed. At first, I sort of ignored the notes because I wasn't to keen on having another "25 Things" sort of total pop culture takeover. But one of my friends tagged me in her note, and it was the best one I've read so far. So good, I figured I'd actually take part. And I'm posting it here! I will just copy and paste, so you know I was fair. I will also tell you that I really did only spend 15 minutes choosing the albums, the rest I added later. You know how I feel about RULES...

•••••••••

Pretty much everybody loves music, right? Everybody does. Everybody. The thing about me is that I’m an only child who was raised by a single parent. And as such, I spent a lot of time alone. A lot of time alone. A LOT. I discovered what it meant to play an album on repeat far before that was a function on CD players. I was so lonely all the time. All the time.

Until music discovered me.

I had forgotten how lonely I always used to be until just today. I was watching a DVD of George Michael’s latest concert and was having a blast until he hit one note – and it was not an off note, in fact he sounded AMAZING – but that one note somehow opened up a memory of how lonely I used to be. How lonely I was before I truly found music as a part of my expression. And I cried. I wasn't reduced to a blubbering mess - but hot, salty tears burst from my eyes so quickly, even I was surprised. They were so salty. And today was the first day I realized exactly how music has saved me.

I was definitely a weird kid, but music kept me out of trouble. Well, outside of that whole “pursuing performing as a way of life” thing. ;)

Here are the first fifteen albums that came to mind.

1. Thriller. (The King of Pop) I mean – “Wanna Be Startin Something?!” “Human Nature?!” Everyone talks about Billie Jean, but “Beat It” has always been my JAM – it’s got Mike (he’s my bro) and Eddie Van Halen on lead guitar! C’MON! Name a song recorded before that with a black male lead vocalist with a straight up rock guitar not only as a rockin solo, but as a major aspect of the song!

2. Ray of Light. (Madonna) This record came around just when I was being Awakened to so many things. Everyone thinks of the title track, but the song “Frozen” still sounds as good now as it did then, in fact – it sounds even better. And the rest is just as brilliant. “The Power of Goodbye” is a gorgeous ballad, in all it’s four chord glory. And the rest? Post-modern fantastic-ness. Listen to it again, from beginning to end and you’ll agree.

3. Fumbling Towards Ecstasy. (Sarah McLachlan) I love every single track on this record. “Possession,” “Good Enough,” and “Ice Cream” are the tracks everyone remembers – but “Plenty,” “Mary” and “Wait” are the tracks I hear in my sleep.

4. Purple Rain. (Prince)

5. A Rush of Blood to the Head. (Coldplay) I unabashedly love Coldplay’s music, no matter how many people keep telling me how uncool it is to do so. I should add Viva La Vida, but I didn’t because “Clocks” was the recessional at my wedding – and most importantly – “In My Place” is my SONG. Quite.

6. Joshua Tree (U2) For a minute, my mom dated an Irish dude from Dublin long distance. He gave me this album and said “Malcolm. You’re going to love this album. This band – they’re your people.” He meant my people, it was not a generalization . And he was correct.

7. Faith. (George Michael) Or Patience. His first solo album or his last one. They’re both PERFECT. This man wrote the title track, “Faith,” “Father Figure,” “I Want Your Sex,” “Precious Box,” “Cars and Trains,” and “Amazing.” And he sings the hell out of them.

8. Crash. (Dave Matthews Band) This album came around just as I needed to LET GO. I may have discovered it on a weekend party-all-the-time trip to Myrtle Beach, but tracks like “#41,” and “Say Goodbye” still slay me.

9. Janet. (Janet Jackson) This album came around when I started dancing seriously. To hear this album on radio, see the videos on TV, and do the choreography in dance class all at the same time changed me as a performer. I still know all the choreography to “If.”

10. Senses Working Overtime. This is actually a Starbuck’s compilation, but it’s AMAZING. It’s all music from the New Wave: Talking Heads. Bowie. KATE BUSH. Roxy Music. The Cure. XTC. The Pretenders. New Order. Echo and the Bunnymen. Peter Gabriel. The English Beat. I mean, C’mon!

11. The Dirty Dancing Soundtrack. It’s a blend of soul music from the early sixties and a couple of 80s pop tunes like Hungry Eyes, and Overload and of course: She’s Like the Wind. It’s got pop, soul, R&B and Merengue!

12. Heavier Things. (John Mayer) This album got me through some rough times. ROUGH. I have three words for you from someone who spent five years in a long distance relationship: “Split-Screen Sadness.”

13. Linus and Lucy. (George Winston) The album where Winston did all Vince Guaraldi songs, who wrote the music to Charlie Brown. This album means AUTUMN. It just doesn’t get any better than “The Great Pumpkin Waltz.”

14. RENT (Original Cast Recording.) I was living in NYC, studying acting and musical theater when this took over the city. It still has me.

15. Soul Christmas. Have you ever heard Otis Redding do White Christmas? Because you NEED to. Did you know Luther Vandross recorded one of the best non-traditional Christmas songs of all time? Have you heard of Carla Thomas? Get this album, get it NOW.

Two. Years. Old.

2010-08-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

Soccerboy in LA is two years old. Yes, it’s been amazing. And yes, even I’m astonished by how much joy it’s brought me. Most of all, I don’t know what to say. Clearly, I love posting here as you can see by the archives. And yes, it’s true that the past two months is the first time I’ve posted regularly in a long time. It’s also true I had stopped posting regularly because I have been fortunate enough to be acting regularly and have been focusing all my energy on doing that job really well. I no longer assume that was the best or smartest choice. I just didn’t know how to be that far in it and hold enough objectivity to write about it all at the same time.

The first draft of this post included stories about what I’ve been up to since I used to post regularly. It was surprisingly fair and balanced, but it read like a resume. At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter what specific acting jobs I did. All that matters is these acting jobs changed my life for many reasons; professionally, artistically, emotionally and personally. And if you’re interested, you can read all about that here.

I also have to mention, many of those jobs came into my life directly because of Soccerboy in LA. And for that, I am beyond grateful.

These new posts that began back in May [since the logo change, ahem] are all pretty special to me. Not only are they a great way to get an idea of who I am right this moment, but they’ve also become the most read posts in the history of Soccerboy in LA.

Normally, I look to write something uplifting to mark the passage of an anniversary, and this year is only different because I debuted that piece early. That piece is The Semmering. If you haven’t read it yet, do so. It’s good. It also became the second most read post on this site in three days.

I’m amazed it’s been two years. I started this not knowing if I’d even make it four weeks and look at where we are now... I should’ve dreamed bigger, not that it’s too late for that... ;)

Most importantly, not only has writing here gotten me in the habit of being creative every single day [which is beyond priceless], but it got me in the habit of expressing myself every day in a way that people saw. This is no journal – these posts are read all over the world. And becoming comfortable with expressing yourself in something new every day is a gift that reaches many different parts of your life. Most importantly, it’s gotten me more connected with who I am as an artist, if only because I continually show my work.

That’s what artists do; we show our work.

I’m grateful that people have read what I’ve written at all, and I’m grateful that it’s even entertained people at all. There aren’t many things more satisfying than the feeling you get when you know you’ve entertained someone. And if some people find some features to be meaningful to them? That’s the sprinkles on top of the icing on the cake.

It’s all amazing.

And it all makes me wonder what magical dreams this next phase will bring to fruition…

Where the Fuck Have I Been?!

2010-07-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, we haven’t talked about this but we all know it’s the elephant in the room. Sometime around the sixth episode of Everybody’s Stupid, I sort of disappeared from posting regularly. I know, it was as if I vanished in a puff of smoke. A post here, and then a post there weeks later. And then all of a sudden, there was The Cannes Diary – fifteen days of nonstop posting. WTF?! Then in May, I posted a Bachelor’s Paradise recipe and didn’t even have the courtesy of pretending that I had been gone. Who the hell do I think I am, exactly?

In my defense, I’ve been busy. And I got busy (hello, mid 90’s) because people hired me from my work here. There are definitely worse things. I figured that now, a week after our second anniversary, would be a good time to share some of my experiences. Well, all that I can tell and not get myself in trouble…

So what exactly have I been up to since I stopped posting four times a week? We’ll have to look back a little.

A producer saw the fourth episode of Everybody’s Stupid, and cast me in a monologue slam and I won third place! It was the first time I’ve ever had to stand on stage alone and deliver a five-minute monologue. I fell in love with it immediately. I did a piece from Fences that is rarely ever done and I will say this: I will play Troy in the next Broadway revival of the show. Yes, I know it’s on the Broadway right this second with Denzel, but I’m talking about 20 years from now. It’ll be me, and you’ll know that I’ve been preparing since now.

Another producer who had been a fan of my show since the first episode cast me in a showcase of hers. It was a tiny, one-line role but I was beyond grateful. This showcase was sold out and real industry professionals who hire actors and writers would be in attendance. This was the first time I felt the idea “Whatever it is, I’ll make it funny.” Because of scheduling conflicts, I only had one rehearsal, and that was during our tech run of the show. I had a few entrances and exits, but my one line came at the very end. In my second to last exit, in one of those moments where you can feel that every single eye in the room is on you, I turned around and gave the main two characters a “look.” The audience fell apart laughing for about thirty seconds. Really. Thirty seconds is a long time in a theater. It was the best feeling in the world.

That same week I was cast as a replacement in the world premiere of a play called The Bitter Herbs. I was excited to play two completely different characters. Not only was it fantastic to be in a play that had an entirely sold out run for seven weeks, it was great just to receive so much love from the audience every night. The theater had to add seats in the aisles to accommodate the people who wanted to see this show! It was also great to settle into a role and let that take over my thoughts for a few months. I loved performing in this play – it was a screwball comedy that had a meaningful idea to discuss. It was normal to hear people blowing their noses because they were crying. I could have done that play eight times a week for a year. Out of all the shows I’ve done, I’ve said that less than five times.

Last summer, I understudied the lead role in a two-person play called 74 Georgia Avenue and wouldn’t you know it, I went on for an entire weekend after just six hours of understudy rehearsal! It was a classically difficult experience, and I learned much about confidence. I was seeing the show one night [as you do as an understudy to get the rhythm in your head] and an audience member tapped me on the shoulder and said she knew me. I couldn’t place her and she thankfully stepped in and said she recognized me from The Bitter Herbs and thought I gave a marvelous performance! Talk about bestowing confidence when I really needed it! There also was a lot of behind the scenes drama that I won’t go into detail about, which I can say helped me solidify ideas on how to behave in a professional environment. I can say that the producers were worried they’d have to turn my understudy gig into a permanent replacement. Really worried. Ahem. We even got reviewed the weekend I went on and I’ll admit to being proud to have been reviewed so positively.

In the fall, I was asked to sing in a concert for Haviland Stillwell, who is an actress most well known for playing Fantine in the Broadway revival of Les Miserables, but you might also recognize her from The Client List and Eastwick. It was a great experience to work with talent of that level and see how these people work up close and know that you belong. Halfway through sound check, I thought to myself “Well, I haven’t been asked to leave yet, so maybe I deserve to be here…?” Sometimes it takes not being fired to know you’ve made progress. Ha! But, seriously. It was also my Los Angeles concert debut.

I also booked an interesting gig as a co-host for a dance show – as a replacement. We were to perform in scenes that were between the dance numbers and even danced in one number. It was a great lesson on acting in that environment. At times you’d break the fourth wall and talk directly to the audience, and other times you’d perform just as you would in any other play. Sometimes, you’d speak and dance at the same time, which is more difficult that dancing and singing at the same time, ironically. It was also great to play myself as a character. All the text was fictional, of course, but they hired us for our real life personalities. You had to show up every night and be the “star” version of yourself, which is a skill that is not taught in acting class. You can’t get on stage and just be the dude who watches soccer at home, this is a performance. It made me think differently about the way I approach playing different characters, and that is priceless.

While I was performing that at night, I was also rehearsing for the LA Premiere of a new musical version of A Christmas Carol. I was a replacement in that show, so I had a lot of catching up to do. A lot. To say the absolute least, it was overwhelming. I’d never had two shows in my head at the same time before – I never did summer stock. As difficult as it was, it was also invigorating to push myself so hard. And I promptly got the flu. But I survived and also survived doing a show with kids for two months! I’m kidding, I’m kidding… This show was also featured here in the From the Rehearsal Hall series. Best of all, I got to bust out my ballet skills for my solo song. It was all very de rigueur, but doing pirouettes, grand jettés and dancing across a stage that was covered entirely in fake snow while singing was, as they say: “Like, whoa.”

I was fortunate enough to be cast as a replacement in a workshop of a brand new play called From The East to the West this past February. Have you noticed how many gigs get booked as replacements? It just goes to show, you never know… I got the call for that gig one morning and spoke with the director. He said he’d email me the script for me to peruse while he was calling other people he was considering. About an hour after the script was emailed, he called again saying that he asked no less than five different people who they would recommend for the role and my name came up five times. Every single person recommended me. I started rehearsal that very afternoon. It was an exciting process, and because we were opening in less than two weeks, I had to work quickly! Not only was it great just to get a gig at all and have to work so hard so quickly, it was great to be subtle and nuanced in my acting for a change. Generally, African-American males are not used that way in theater or film. More often you’ll find that in television, but still, not all the time. I have to admit, that’s the kind of storytelling where I feel the most comfortable and it’s rare I get to do it. Best of all, that play will have its World Premiere next summer at Steppenwolf…

One day, I was walking out of an audition when someone who saw me leave the building ran after me and asked me if I was interested in doing an indie short? I said sure, and asked when the auditions were. He said he was familiar with my work [what?!] and wanted to offer me the part outright. I was surprised, but was present enough to say yes and took his card. Three weeks later I was on the set of Lonestar. It was my first time with tricky blocking combined with tricky camera choreography, and I again was thankful for my dance training. Some of my scenes had long takes where I would have to hit several marks, with turns, pauses and then fight choreography. At times like that, you don’t want to be the person holding up the entire shoot. It’s funny; you’ll have a blast shooting yet you’ll still be excited to get home like any other day. But on those days, you go home with a grin on your face. Best of all, Lonestar is premiering this week at the Comic-Con shorts festival! Woot.

In the spring, I worked on the new Nickelback video, which was directed by the legendary Nigel Dick. Let’s get real, music videos are not at all high on the ladder of respect, but being able to work with and learn from Nigel was amazing. He ran that set like a film set, and we were expected to keep up with him and his team [who are also top notch], while delivering top notch performances. It was also great to be able to hang with Nickelback for a couple of days. There was even a moment when it was just me, the other football player, and the band, who were playing some music. It was nice. Then they went into Hotel California and I sang with them... Near the end of those two days a member of the crew came up to me and gave me a great compliment by asking me “Do you see how Nigel and the band and the crew are all treating you differently than everyone else?” It was not said with jealousy, this was a member of the crew pointing something out to me. I had noticed it.

Then I spent a week in Ventura County on a film called Adult Entertainment that shot on the same soundstage that Julia Roberts shot Erin Brockovitch. [In fact, our new logo picture was taken from that very stage!] It was a phenomenal week getting to be funny and outrageous. I’ve never laughed so much, for so many days in a row. I get to do comedy a lot, and I am grateful, but this was the first time I was also expected to riff. I was so happy I had done my actor homework so I could totally free myself to improv in character. As much as I felt removed from my everyday life, it was difficult to leave such a fun set when it was over. Westley Eldredge has a career ahead of him as a director, his ability to inspire greatness while staying cool and fun is rare. I can’t wait to work with him again.

The week I got back from being on location I booked a principal role in a national commercial campaign for Cablevision's Optimum Wifi that included two spots in the initial order. I would be the lead, the only character carried over to the second spot. We shot on the lot at Universal Studios, which is amazing on it’s own. It was a huge production – a crew of fifty, fifteen principal actors and two hundred background actors! I even got to work with a blue screen for the first time. And I was in every shot. Really. Every single one. That is the kind of responsibility you can feel. And it felt good, no - it felt great to get my ass kicked in that way. It also gave me a lot of confidence in my abilities.

ADDENDUM: OCTOBER 25, 2010

I shot the lead role (and title role) in a short called The Moving Man. First time I worked with CGI, which is cool. It was also the first time I'd ever done a supernatural thriller. It's interesting, I've played a lot of different characters, but this was the first time I had to spend an entire day scared out of my wits. It was an interesting experience. It was another day where I knew I had become a better actor. I also spent four hours climbing stairs, which my thighs paid for the next day.

The very next afternoon, as I was recuperating from the stairs, I got a call asking if I could be at an audition in an hour. Sure, why not. I got the material, it was 12 pages! Good thing I'd been working on my cold reading skills, riiiight?! I did the audition then went to the grocery store. As I was putting down my groceries, I got a call from my agent saying I booked it, and it would start the very next morning! I booked a Guest Star role on, iCarly, the hit Nickelodeon sitcom. It was my first guest star role. It was an amazing week. And difficult. And more fulfilling then I'd ever imagine. I'll actually do a multi part series to talk about it in length.

A few weeks later, I booked a co-star role on Outlaw, the Jimmy Smits drama on NBC. My scene was with Jimmy Smits!! It was a physical scene with difficult blocking, where I broke up a fight. It's so simple, but it took time to get right. I will say this: Yet again, I was glad I have dance training. I highly suggest all actors spend some time in a dance class or at the very least, take a movement class. It will not only help you hit multiple marks without looking down, but your sense of physical timing will be improved. Trust me. At one point, Jimmy Smits (who is a producer on the show) yelled at me because I wasn't hitting a specific mark in time. "Fuuck, Jimmy Smits is yelling at me!" The entire cast and crew grew silent and every single person stared at me. You could hear a pin drop. Then I took a deep breath and charmingly explained exactly why I was having difficulty hitting it and what we could do to fix it. From that moment on- from the director to the PAs - everyone treated me differently. They treated me with respect. I think it has just as much to do with how I said it as it was with what I actually said. At the end of the shoot the Jimmy Smits and the director both came up to me, shook my hand, and thanked me for my hard work. It was a good day. And, Jimmy Smits yelled at me!!! :D

I’m ready for the next challenge.

As you can see, I’ve been busy. What’s crazy is I can trace just about every single one of these jobs I booked directly back to Everybody’s Stupid or back to something I learned from doing it. Either someone saw it and hired me, or them seeing it got me into the audition room.

My favourite part? I’ve become a better actor because of all of this. And that, my friends is what it’s all about.

A Ballad For Ed Limato

2010-07-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

Ed Limato, Hollywood’s last great agent, passed away early in the morning of July 3rd, 2010. He was the best agent in Hollywood and had the best client list in a generation. Simply the greatest.

Most don’t know I spent two and a half years working at ICM when Mr. Limato was Co-President. At first I was a floating assistant based in the mailroom before I settled in at Agency Contracts. At that time, it was a cushy job where HR let me go to auditions in the middle of the day. And best of all, I learned about the industry from the belly of the beast. It was like going to grad school, and you received a Masters in Show Business. Without that job, I would not have been able to start producing as soon as I did.

Now when I say that Limato had the best client list in a generation, I am not exaggerating. His client list, over the years included Antonio Banderas, Michael Biehn, Nicholas Cage, Kevin Costner, Russell Crowe, Claire Danes, Geena Davis, James Franco, Matthew Fox, Ava Gardner, Melanie Griffith, Goldie Hawn, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Thomas Jane, Frank Langella, Jennifer Lopez, Derek Luke, Adrian Lyne, Madonna, Matthew McConaughey, Bette Midler, Liam Neeson, Sam Neill, Nate Parker, Michelle Pfeiffer, Dennis Quaid, Doris Roberts, Diana Ross, Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, Meryl Streep, Paul Walker and Marlon Brando.

Because of that list, it was normal to see the likes of Denzel Washington, Sylvester Stallone, Michelle Pfeiffer, Richard Gere or Clare Danes walking through the building. By the way, and just so you know; Michelle Pfeiffer would stop traffic even if she weren’t a famous actress. Mr. Limato represented Hollywood royalty.

He was Hollywood royalty.

And we all knew it. He had the clients he did not only because he was a prodigiously talented agent, but also because of his commitment to his client’s art. Most importantly, Mr. Limato had the clients he did because he treated them all like family. And it was rare for any of his clients to leave him - some never left. Other left and came back immediately. When you consider the level of clients he had - that's almost incomprehensible.

Because of that, his office was busy all the time. Limato’s office was so busy, the mailroom would send up his morning mail two hours before the first official mail run, which would be met by Limato’s third assistant. THIRD. This man had three assistants, and they were always busy.

If we had to do something for his office, his name created miracles. If we were in the middle of development season and the TV Lit department was duplicating hundreds of scripts, every other script order was slowly worked into the queue. If I walked into duplication and asked for four scripts to be copied immediately, I would be laughed at. Then I’d utter three magic words: “It’s for Limato.” They’d be ready in less than fifteen minutes.

Mr. Limato's style was uniquely sartorial. If you’ve never seen him or met him then you can’t really understand how well heeled he was or what a gentleman he was. He would wear plaid suits. To work. Or a salmon colored shirt. I’m just kidding – he would wear a salmon colored SUIT. Or mustard, just because. All without a hint of irony! That’s what I noticed about him immediately, if this were NYC these tailored garments would have be worn with a sense of humor. But Limato actually liked them, and he knew he could do anything - if only because he said so.

Don’t get me wrong, Ed Limato was also legendarily demanding - as demanding as anyone who is great at his job should be. The opportunity to see how this legend really worked was priceless, and most of his assistants worked so hard because they understood this. Some couldn’t handle the stress and pressure. I remember one assistant who quit by leaving a message on his office’s voicemail in the middle of the night.

“Oh, WOW,” I said. “That fool didn’t just quit working at ICM – he quit show business.” We all knew being that disrespectful to someone as great and legendarily powerful as Limato meant he would, as the saying goes, never work in this town again. It was sobering. And completely understandable.

As someone who was not an agent, nor one of his assistants, I was never really on his radar. Or so I thought. Late one morning I was riding the elevator from P4 to the third floor. The elevator stopped at P1, the VIP parking level. The doors opened and an impeccably dressed Ed Limato walked in. I didn’t know what to do – just Limato and me in a slow elevator together! I shouldn’t make eye contact! Should I bow my head and look at the floor? Just as my head was about to explode, I forced myself to speak.

“Good morning, Mr. Limato.”

“Good Morning, Malcolm,” he replied.

HE SAID MY NAME!!! I could have fainted right there in the elevator.

The only time I ever saw Mr. Limato outside of the ICM building was at a party for Tom Ford. Ford was leaving Gucci Group and was receiving a star on the Beverly Hills Walk of Fashion. I'd been to all sorts of parties, but this was easily the most luxurious party I had ever been to. A friend who worked at a management company scored me an invite, because he knew how much I respected Tom Ford’s work - this was the hottest party that month. Seriously. Not only did you have to be on the list, but they were checking ID's at the check-in table. They completely shut down Rodeo Drive from Little Santa Monica to Wilshire and built a party in the street that was two blocks long, with a third block for catering. I mean, it was built up off of the street and lined with black carpet! Imagine, Rodeo Drive, carpeted in black with multiple levels that you could get to. Every star in town was there. And I mean stars, there were no celebrities. At the three-hour mark, Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson gave a little speech and presented Tom Ford with his award. I was trying to find a place to stand and found a place at the top of a small set of stairs. I could see above everyone.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a smiling and stunning Lucy Liu bounded up the stairs and hugged the person next to me. She looked so happy to see this man – I had not yet seen her look that luminous on screen. I looked over to see Ed Limato. They hugged and chatted for a minute. I remember thinking “Nothing about this is fake. Everyone truly loves this man.” She hugged him again and went back to her guest. I did notice she went up to him alone, she didn’t bring her guest up with her to be introduced…

I turned to him and forced myself to say something. “Mr. Limato… I work at ICM. It’s nice to see you here.”

“Oh yes,” he said and extended his hand for me to shake. “Are you enjoying the party?”

I was always impressed by his behaviour, he easily could have high-tailed it somewhere else so he wouldn’t have to make small talk with me, who was not even an agent. But Mr. Limato was a gentleman.

Rita Wilson presented Tom Ford with a plaque. As we cheered, white rose petals rained down on us. Now that’s confetti. This party was magical. Then, Gloria Gaynor took the stage and sang her huge hit “I Will Survive.” Mr. Limato, the greatest agent in Hollywood, in a sotto voce, sang right along with her. Really. Right before the bridge, he turned to me and said:

“This is my favourite disco song.”

I chuckled. I thought back to what his life and career must have been like. From working with Franco Zeffirelli in Italy in the 60s to going to work in the mailroom in NYC at the agency that would later become ICM. Being promoted and surviving a merger, then moving to William Morris and then back to ICM, becoming Co-President of the agency and still, all the way through the late 2000s having the greatest client list in all of Hollywood. Yes, of course “I Will Survive” would be his favorite disco song – a song he still knew all the lyrics to. All of them.

“It really is a good song, isn’t it...?” I replied, looking right into his eyes. I knew by his look how much he meant it.

Gloria Gaynor finished and Mr. Limato moved on, but not before putting his hand on my shoulder and saying goodnight. The man was a class act.

In just two brief moments with him, I may have learned two of the most important lessons I’ve ever learned in showbusiness. I will always us remember passing each other in the ICM hallways, him being so impeccably dressed and making my Banana Republic wardrobe look like thrift shop rags. Not once did Mr. Limato ever fail to nod his head to me or say “Good Morning,” as he passed by. He truly was incomparable,and what he did as an agent will not ever be duplicated.

This is the end of an era.

In a class by himself, Mr. Limato was a true gentleman. The real deal.

[© MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

The Semmering

2010-06-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of The Semmering? It’s an area of the Alps that covers parts of both Italy and Austria. It is an impossibly steep, very high part of the mountains. And as those places generally are, it’s a beautiful part of the world. The vistas, valleys and the clean fresh air are like nowhere else. Even the water tastes incredible.

The only way to see The Semmering at ground level is by train – The Semmering Railroad. There just aren’t roads in this area, you have to sit back, relax and see it the same way everyone did when it first opened to travel. The people who designed and built these train tracks back in 1848 were incredibly smart. They knew there needed to be a train that took people from Vienna, Austria to Venice, Italy. It would be great for the economies of both cities and everywhere in between. Most importantly, it would be good for the people themselves. People work hard all the time, all year long and their souls need to relax, they need to be transported to a magical place. And this railroad would take them someplace people had never been.

Since this would be the world’s first true mountain railway, there was not a train in existence that was able make the trip. But they built the tracks anyway. They built them because they knew, someday, the train would come.

You could say that being an actor is a lot like being one of the people who built those train tracks in the Alps. Us actors spend a lot of time preparing ourselves for the possibility of a magic moment somewhere in the not too distant future. We train ourselves, whether in conservatory or in class. Even if we went to conservatory we still take class. We practice at home, we rehearse and perform in plays in hole in the wall theaters, some of which are smaller than dorm rooms we’ve lived in. We act in short films. We write and perform in web series. We act in student films. We have private coaching for auditions. We produce and perform in showcases, concerts, and benefits. We sign up for open mic nights, we go to mixers, networking events, tweetups. We do targeted mailings and in person drop-offs. We do all these things in hope that it will get us noticed by people who hire actors, or at least noticed by people who can put actors in front of people that hire actors. And if that one thing we did does not accomplish that goal, we do another thing. And after that, another thing.

It could be easy to begin to feel lost, to feel like you’re going nowhere, that all of your work has been for nothing. Or worse – that it has all only been something for you to do. It would be easy to get frustrated, angry and self-destructive because you’re looking for more and/or faster results. Or even worse – it would be easy to lose your confidence in your abilities. It would be easy to question why something hasn’t happened yet, or why it hasn’t happened again.

It would be easy to lose yourself.

There are times when things slow down for whatever reason. For example, we don’t have control over the fact that business slows down in the summer. We can’t control the fact that most of scripted television is on hiatus, that there are less commercials shooting in the summer. Instead of falling prey to your fear; just keep working. Rehearsing. Training. Getting better. And instead of focusing on what has or hasn’t happened, try focusing on the growth you know you’ve made as an actor.

Remember how you got better because you were in a play for six weeks and played a character that was more difficult and demanding of your talent than any other character you’ve played? Focus on the fact that you got better, and then find a way to build on that growth so you may become an even better actor.

Remember when you surprised yourself? Seek to figure out what you did, and resolve to find a way to do it better. Find a way to be more spontaneous, with stronger, more specific choices, while you are even more present. Trust me, at the very least – you won’t have time for negativity. When you’re working to get better, and it all comes from a place of positivity and acceptance – you’ll give yourself even more room to grow.

And while you’re doing that, keep up the targeted mailings and the in person drop-offs. The auditions, plays, short films, open mic nights, concerts, benefits, the mixers, networking events, tweetups.

All the while, never forget that our art is noble. At the very least, our art is for the people who work hard all the time, all year long - whose souls need to relax, need to be transported to a magical place. At most, our art deeply moves and inspires people.

So when it gets tough, just remember The Semmering. Just like them, we have to lay the tracks before the train can come. Work diligently and lay the foundation with an expectant optimism. Nose to the grindstone.

You’ve got to have faith that the train will come. And when it does, you will be ready.

[© MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

A Love Letter For All The World To See

2010-06-20T12:22:00.001-07:00

I rarely get super personal here. But I’ve got the blues, y’all. The blues. And I’ve got it bad in a serious way. Like, hearing Sarah McLachlan singing The Rainbow Connection on the overhead play at a Starbucks just might make me cry while I’m waiting in line. See? BAD. But it’s with good reason. You all know I’m married, but you may not know that my love goes to Chicago for grad school every summer for six weeks.

The Great Divide started today.

Last summer was the first of the three summers. I was stuck here in LA because I was doing a play, and this year is no different. This summer, I’m working on an independent short film I will play the lead in, and that I also have a hand in developing. I’m stuck again – grounded, as it were.

I don’t take any part of this relationship for granted, but as soon as we get to this point in June it somehow feels like I do. At the absolute least, I sure have gotten used to sharing the bed.

But six weeks is nothing, you say. Before you know it, it’ll be over – right? Well I can explain this. This is our fourteenth year together and our fourth year married. We even lived in different cities for five years. And four years ago, when we finally were able to be in the same place again, we felt this was it.

Now don’t get me wrong – the two of us both know the score, and the roles could be reversed at any moment. Actors leave to go on location all the time. I’ve been on tour, and have worked out of town. Hell – I just spent a week on location in Santa Barbara in April and even that was somewhat difficult, yet I am STILL grateful for that experience. Yes, I know these are the lives and careers we’ve chosen. But that doesn’t make it any easier.

A few days ago, Shoshana Bean posted a video of herself rehearsing a song she was to sing the next day at a small venue here in LA. Her show was called “Today I Sing The Blues.” The two-minute video was amazing. As a singer, there’s not a lot more I respect more than someone who can sing the blues. As a listener, it hurt; I’ve got the blues. I wanted to see her show – it was cheap, and just down the street and I knew she would blow my socks off. But I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to go and cry throughout her entire set. That just ain’t right, you know?

As it got closer to showtime, I watched her video again. And again. And again. I thought about taking my love with me. But I chose not to. I was sure what would happen. But as I watched/listened to her video on repeat, I did find a sort of solace.

Yes, having The Blues hurts. But the way Ms. Shoshana Bean was singing that song… She understood. She knows.

And hearing her sing that song provided me with relief.

Then somehow I was reminded how lucky I am to have found anyone at all. And it could be worse – I could be lonely, yet, that’s not what I feel.

I'm just going to miss all that light.

I’m reminded of Romeo and Juliet, who both met untimely ends. BUT – they found each other. And THAT is reason enough to rejoice.

I wouldn’t feel all of this if I weren’t in LOVE.

REJOICE.

PRIDE.

2010-06-13T11:32:00.000-07:00

As a black American citizen who has benefited from all the hard work people accomplished in the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960s, I have a vested interest in American ideals, our citizens’ rights and most of all; Equality.

If not for the Civil Rights Movement I would not be able to vote.

If not for the Civil Rights Movement, I would not have the education I have.

If not for the Civil Rights Movement, I would not be married to a person from another race.

And the list goes on.

This mindset is where I come from when I think about the issue of Gay Rights.

I have lived in New York, Los Angeles and even kind of lived in San Francisco for a minute [full disclosure, I was in SF about two weeks out of every month for quite a long while] – and because of that, I always think about Gay Pride at this time of year. I’ve been thinking about it a lot in the last couple of years because of Prop 8, and the way the Gay community responded nonviolently. Martin Luther King, Jr. made the contributions he did because nonviolent change was the cornerstone of his message.

What I’ve been thinking about today centers around two things regarding the Pride celebration. What does walking around in your underwear have to do with Pride? And this completely wild behavior – what does it advocate?

In case you don’t know, haven’t heard about it or seen it for yourself, people at Pride celebrations go Ca-razy. Sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll. And then they do it all over again. And then they do it again, for real. I mean, c’mon – the first one was just a rehearsal, right? People always mention that the way gay people act during Pride is exactly the way heterosexual America thinks gay people act every day of the year. C’mon son, now we know that’s not true! We all know there are too many gay people in this world for us to have a functioning society if that were the case.

But it does make me wonder, why should gay people have to be on their “Best Behaviour” during Pride? For some reason, I’m reminded of black people telling other black people not to eat watermelon in public. No one tells people to behave themselves at Mardi Gras, or Carnivale, right?! Why not? Because everyone accepts that those are isolated events where people act that way, they don’t assume those people are like that all year long. I’m all for telling everyone to be safe, and that is important. But telling people to “watch themselves” just seems to be the opposite of what it means to be “proud.”

Gay people still feel oppressed and clearly feel a need to LET GO. And for people who grew up feeling like a freak, being with 100,000 people who are similar to themselves is reason enough to throw down! But that’s just my observation, combined with my opinions of events of the past. I mean back in the day, black people were definitely told to “act right,” because we were proving that we belonged in society – that’s also why we were nonviolent. But gay people being “flamboyant” is not only nonviolent, it’s downright loving.

The first time I ever saw a Gay Pride Parade, I was on vacation with my family in Montreal when I was 14. Now, I’ll admit – that parade was a lot to take for a 14 year-old from the South. And the men walking around in public in tiny underwear thing was especially strange to me. Most of all, it was intimidating. We were trying to get back to our hotel, and everywhere we turned there were hundreds of people; topless women in leather, men in their underwear and they were all chanting “We’re Here! We’re Queer! Get used to it!” It was a lot to handle. By the time I moved to New York City, I had gotten used to the progressive dress code and simply accepted it.

Many gay people continually talk about the underwear thing with disdain. I always forget that even if these people are gay and moved to New York City by the time they were twenty years old, it’s very different from anyone seeing it as a student in Junior High School. I was young enough for that to be part of my childhood, but once you’re twenty – you’ve already solidified some ideas and ideals.

First of all, and to be fair, we have to talk about the phenomenon of people turning themselves into sex objects. Most of the year, people work their jobs, go to the gym, see movies, visit their family and go on vacation. And then when Pride comes along: RELEASE! I think these gay people not only want to feel attractive and sexy, but they also have a healthy need for that attention, love and expression of sexuality as well.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Being a sex object it so looked down upon in our society, that most wouldn’t dare do it without an excuse. Just like Halloween – that is the reason every costume you see is either the slutty or sexy version of a costume idea. And why is there nothing wrong with that? Because: people who need that release don’t allow themselves that freedom in their everyday lives. And everyone, no matter who they are, deserves Freedom.

I’m reminded of a conversation I recently had with a female friend. She was understandably frustrated with the idea that there is no word in our society for a male slut. Slut is a word used to describe a promiscuous woman, and the sexism of it all rightly pissed her off. I told her that we do have a word for a male slut. We call male sluts “Men!” She laughed so hard she spit out her coffee. Really.

But back to the main event [and I think this is the heart of the entire matter]. So many gay people grew up feeling like a freak even before they knew anything about their sexuality. And once they got an inkling that they may be homosexual, their feelings of oppression were multiplied and were confirmed by society. We all know Gay people are oppressed, that’s a fact not an opinion. So when these people, who have felt like an outcast their entire time on this planet, finally liberate themselves – they feel AMAZING. Free. Complete.

And after spending your life in the dark, once you’ve finally given yourself light… You finally feel so proud that walking around in your underwear is an expression of your FREEDOM. You can’t truly oppress a soul that’s liberated itself.

That’s PRIDE.

[©MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Summer in LA

2010-06-06T11:00:00.001-07:00

It’s about to be summer in LA! It’s the time of year when you start getting random phone calls from “friends” asking for things. Will you refer me to your agent? Can you call that casting director you know and recommend me for this project? You know who covers Paramount at CAA, right? I know you’re union, but will you perform in my Primetime National Network Commercial for free…? THEN a week later, at a party, you’ll overhear them saying how they can’t believe all you did was talk about yourself on that call. Bitch, after you asked for a favor AGAIN, you asked me how I was!!!

SUMMER IN LA!

Chace Crawford got arrested in Texas for Pot Possession. If he wasn’t already gay, he definitely got ate up by all them horny mens in the clink! Y’all know what I’m talking about: if Chace Crawford wasn’t rockin a beard right now, you’d think that pretty boy was one hot lady.

Apparently the Universe is trying to get me to go to a party at the Playboy Mansion in July, because multiple friends who don’t know each other keep contacting me to get me on the list. The Playboy Mansion. In the middle of summer. Yowza.

Rue McLanahan died and we are all torn up about it. Though the wisdom of Blanche Devereaux will live on forever! In related news, Betty White was seen standing on a mountain, holding a sword as lightning strikes behind her, shouting “THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!!!”

Christina Aguilera sang a song on the American Idol finale that shows off how mature she is, and what she’s capable of expressing. It was a brilliant performance of a breakup song that was surprisingly not oversung. Most striking was her acting of the song – she came on and created a mood and sang on it. If she did that performance in a Broadway musical, she would win a Tony Award. Really. But just to make sure we know she still got it, she performed this song in a skintight unitard, that was partially see-through! Christina Aguilera: all class, all the time.

Janet Jackson performed on the same American Idol finale while she was in between weaves! She was rocking the same hairdo she had when she played Penny on Good Times [which was the last time I saw her real hair, not that there's anything wrong with that]. Apparently grief does make you brave! “No mama, don’t burn me with that iron!” CLASSIC!

I got a fortune cookie the other day that said “Good Luck!” What the hell kind of fortune is that?! Is my life so ridiculous that even a fortune cookie is telling me I need luck?! DANG, MAMA!

Now that it’s warmer, people are walking their dogs everywhere. When a dog is pooping on a patch of grass, am I the only one that wants to point at the doggie, laugh and say “You have to poop outside! Even YOU look ashamed! You are not dignified! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” You know you want to. And you'll think about the next time you see a dog "make."

Got some See’s Candies as a gift. Tell me something: How the hell does See’s Candies get away with not giving you a map of what each candy is? ARROGANCE!!! They think their candy is so good that we shouldn’t need to know what it is before we eat it? Well let me be the first to say: Fuck you, See’s Candies! We don't ALL love hazlenut, you motherfuckers!!!

And that, friends, is just the beginning of Summer In LA. Let The Games Begin!

[© MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Bachelor’s Paradise: The Perfect Cosmopolitan

2010-05-28T21:59:00.000-07:00

In honor of Sex and the City 2 being released in theaters I present you, dear bachelor [whether single or married] with a recipe from my private bar collection for a Cosmopolitan. Not just any Cosmo – this is not the cheap, overly sweet and sticky concoction served at most bars around the world. This recipe was inspired by the recipe used at the famous Bar 89 in New York City. New York City?! Yes, City. As in “Sex and the City.” After many afternoons with the bartender at Bar 89, I made a suggestion to him about changing the recipe. He laughed in my face. I won’t tell you what was changed [some secrets are kept forever] but I can tell you that after he tasted my version, Bar 89 changed their house recipe to mine. And they were already famous for their Cosmopolitans.

This is The Perfect Cosmopolitan.

But why would you want to make a Cosmopolitan at all, you ask? You can’t stand that drink – and worst of all, it’s PINK! Agreed. But this is no ordinary Cosmo – this drink is magical. You will make this drink for the woman in your life and tell her that it’s in honor of the new Sex and the City movie’s release. You don’t even have to go to the movie with her – most likely she’ll want to go with her girlfriends, if you’re lucky. Make her one of these [or more!] when she gets home and let me tell you… You see, a real Cosmopolitan is not a drink for college co-eds, it's a beverage for grownups. Grown men love this drink, as they should. Because in its heart, this drink is a mean martini. This drink means business.

The Perfect Cosmopolitan will get you laid.

Ingredients:

•A good clean vodka. Absolutely no substitutes. Grey Goose, Belvedere, Chopin or Tanqueray Sterling. Or better. Stoli or Absolut will not suffice.
•Cointreau. Absolutely no substitutes. I’m talking to you, Grand Marnier.
•Fresh lime juice [about 10 limes]. Absolutely no substitutes. Yes, you will juice your own limes.
•Cranberry juice.

What makes this The Perfect Cosmopolitan is not only the proportions, but the quality of the ingredients. The fresh lime starts you on your journey and opens your palate to the clean vodka. Then the subtle orange and cranberry mix together and finish with a refreshing zing. These ingredients make this beverage sublime.

Hardware:

•Cocktail Shaker
•Two-sided Jigger [the one with two different sized measures]
•Ice [big cubes are better, no crushed ice allowed]

Working Quickly:
•Fill a cocktail shaker with ice.
•Fill the larger side of the Jigger with vodka. Pour into shaker.
•Fill the smaller side of the Jigger with Cointreau. Pour into shaker.
•Fill the larger side of the Jigger with fresh lime juice. Pour into shaker.
•Fill the smaller side of the Jigger with Cranberry Juice. Pour into shaker.

Place cap onto shaker and shake like hell. You’ll want to shake until the shaker is very cold in your hands. At least 20 shakes. Strain into a martini glass and serve.

Why a martini glass? Martini glasses force you to take your time and sip. And they give you time to flirt.

Enjoy the rest of your evening. Remember to use birth control if you’re not trying to have children at the moment.

[© MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Festival de Cannes: The Complete Cannes Diary

2010-05-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

The Cannes Film Festival is arguably the most important film festival in the world. We have all seen photos and video from the festival that is set on the Riviera in the south of France. I have been lucky enough to experience Cannes during the festival. In actuality, it is much more amazing than it can possibly be depicted. While amazing, what those depictions lack is what it feels like to be there.

What follows is my complete private diary from my time at the Festival de Cannes. It is uncensored and no holds barred, exactly what you'd expect from Soccerboy in LA.

I had been hired by an independent production company to be an associate producer on a documentary TV show. The show was about a woman who does product placement for feature films and also does the event planning for movie premieres. She had just been given a challenge by Bob Yari (who had produced Crash) that if she could successfully plan his premiere parties at the upcoming Tribeca and Cannes Film Festivals using a budget that would come completely from branding, he would give her a contract to do the product placement and event planning for the next twenty Bob Yari Films, their premieres and events. We would document her journey from the time she began planning the events all the way through the trips to Tribeca and Cannes to see her succeed.

The title of Associate Producer (AP) is a pretty nebulous title whose duties depend on each production. I had an edge because I speak French. A lot of what I had to do were about getting the entire production to Cannes. Once we got there, I would be able to focus on helping our crew get the story we needed and put out any necessary fires…

Day ONE: From LAX to the Riviera, with a pause in Paris.

Day TWO: Getting the lay of the land.

Day THREE:"It’s a tough position to be put in, but I got over it because I didn’t go to Cannes to read the fucking comics and fight over crayons. "

Day FOUR: The calm before the storm.

Day FIVE: What Executive Producer leaves his cell phone at the apartment and doesn't have a heart attack?

Day SIX: A day OFF.

Day SEVEN: Putting out lazy people's fires.

Day EIGHT: What kind of Executive Producer leaves his cell phone at the apartment AGAIN?

DAY NINE: Off to St. Tropez!

Day TEN: Stuck in St. Tropez without a ride back to Cannes. "Ouch."

Day ELEVEN: Sick in St. Tropez

Day TWELVE: The Monaco Grand Prix -or- The One Where Joey Speaks French

Day THIRTEEN: How the hell are we going to sell this show?

Day FOURTEEN: In which Malcolm stands up for himself.

THE LAST DAY: The Beautiful Letdown

[© MMX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Backstage at A Christmas Carol: The Long Run

2009-12-16T17:21:00.000-08:00

I’ve done many lengthy runs of different shows, and the experience varies. Some shows are simply more demanding than others. Doing Shakespeare’s A Winter’s Tale eight times a week for weeks on end was difficult physically and emotionally – but ultimately rewarding. Other shows are such a joy that you don’t notice what you’re putting your body through.

Then there are musicals.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a musical. I love them, they are what got me started as an actor but I had forgotten how much more energy it takes to do a musical than it takes to do most plays. This production of A Christmas Carol is not a “let’s all sit on a couch and talk” kind of theatrical experience. I’m singing while dancing ballet! And then it’s offstage to change costumes and run back onstage again. And there’s nothing like it; being able to see the smiles and the tears on the audience’s faces. You can feel how you’re touching the audience - that for those two hours, we’re all in this experience together. Rewarding.

One question I always get is “What’s difficult about doing a long run of a show? Does it get boring?” These questions get straight to the heart of what means to do your job well. The first thing to remember is that every night, this is that audience’s first time seeing the show and it’s our responsibility to put on the best version of our show. That idea still keeps me excited and gives me a fun nervousness before curtain. I also spend a lot of time with the script, even after the show has opened. And I’m not the only one. The amazing Chris Winfield, our Scrooge, can be seen with his script every day. So can Klair Bybee, our Jacob Marley. Clearly we’ve already learned our lines, so what could we be doing, you wonder? We’re still investigating the material. Making discoveries. Looking for new ideas, actions and emotions to discover. I’m sure you’ve read books more than one time and somehow on the tenth reading, you understand something that you’ve never noticed before. It’s the same with the script. Not only does it make your performance clearer and more fully developed, but it keeps you fresh. When you’re still open to finding new things, even while you’re onstage, it is not a repeat performance. It’s the first time for you, and the audience can feel that. How? It’s a mystery.

I can say that being able to refine your performance over the time you are performing a role is a wonderful gift of the theater. I never “freeze” a performance, because that shuts out all possibility of magic. We’ve had people see the show multiple times and tell us how much the show has grown even though they loved it the first time they saw it. That is the best compliment we can get, because it means we’re doing our job well.

As we get to the end of our run of this show, I know I’ll miss doing it. There’s something about this story, getting to hear it every night has an impact on you – as it should. I’ll also miss working with all of these wonderful actors! These are the funniest people I’ve spent time with in recent memory. Since there are 27 of us, we are like one big crazy family backstage, in the dressing rooms and in the green room. We’re constantly looking for a kid’s vest that always seems to wander off. Every day. The kids are always joking with us and playing jokes on us. And it keeps everything interesting and fresh backstage. That camaraderie also informs our relationships in our performances. Everything helps everything.

I’ll see you at the theater! Maybe even this weekend – there are still tickets available for our final four shows! And if you feel so inclined, come on back to say hello to the cast after the show. You’re allowed - we’re all family.

Before I forget – I wanted to remind you that our next production at The Group Rep is The City. It’s a revival of a play that was written in 1909 but has been updated to modern times. It’s a play with murder, intrigue, scandal and politics. Stay tuned to this space to find out more…

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

From the Rehearsal Hall: OPENING NIGHT!

2009-12-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

After weeks of rehearsing it all comes down to one night: Opening Night. Often opening day is spent trying to stay calm and conserving energy. I often pretend to take a nap. I know I’ll never actually get to sleep, but I always lie down and close my eyes anyway. Luckily for this production of A Christmas Carol, we had performances leading up to the actual opening, called previews. At first it’s just a few company members sitting in the house, getting us used to having an audience. It really helps – you get used to the flow of the show, and learn how demanding it will actually be. You also learn where people may laugh. There are always surprises in that department, you recognize jokes and expect laughs in those places, but you never know what an audience will find humorous. By the time we got to the night before opening, the house was completely sold out! And there were reporters and other members of the press seeing the show to review it. It’s great to get some of them there before opening night if at all possible, as it helps take some of the pressure off the opening. A part of you wishes they would wait a couple of weeks until the show is a well oiled machine, but their job is to help get the word out about the show. At the end of the day, you appreciate that they’re there at all.

Finally the big day arrived. We actually didn’t have the day off, we had rehearsal scheduled that afternoon. I was thrilled to do it because this show is a big production. Technically, it’s an extremely complicated. Plus, it has the added benefit of keeping you focused and not jittery at home. And you know what – the opening show was fantastic! We were all in a great mood from being excited and had been focused together all day. It was such a relief not only for it to go off without a hitch, but for it to happen at all! There were so many emotions attached to opening that you felt a huge weight had been lifted by the performance.

Once we got past that, we could finally settle into the run and do our jobs.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Click here to go straight to the next installment.

From Rehearsals [Getting Used to the Space]

2009-11-21T12:00:00.000-08:00

Bumping your head. Falling on your face. Tripping over chairs. Running into walls. Making entrances too early. Tripping over people. Making entrances too late. Stumbling around in the dark and somehow ending up outside the theater. This is what it’s learn your way around a set that’s just been built.

All the while, you’re trying to remember your lines and blocking.

Finally being able to use the set is an exciting time in rehearsal. For one, it means that you’ve moved out of the rehearsal hall and into the theater. That in and of itself has it’s own difficulties. The rehearsal hall is a closed space where we can hear each other easily, especially when we’re singing. The theater is designed so that the sound flows out into the audience. Onstage it can often feel like you’re out there all alone. In a great way. Feeling that exposed requires you to listen with your entire being and that makes everything you do onstage much more alive. As does the throbbing pain that results from running into a wall. But hey – anything that makes the show a more visceral experience for the audience is a good thing, right?

In all seriousness, our set is beautiful and fun and is a testament to the talent of our scenic designer, Trefoni Rizzi. The kids are having a blast playing on it, as are (ahem) the adults.

Come see the show and you’ll see what I mean! A Christmas Carol is playing at The Group Rep. Tickets are available now.

Happy Holidays!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

click HERE to go to the next installment.

From the Rehearsal Hall [Children of All Ages]

2009-11-19T16:43:00.000-08:00

One of the best things about being an actor is you’ll get to work with people of all ages. And the ages of the actors in A Christmas Carol span seven decades! From the smallest tweens to veteran actors, our cast has quite the breadth of experience. The greatest aspect of working with actors of a certain age is not only their wisdom (which we all expect), but their personalities! These artists are not the fuddy-duds of our society – they’re actors! They’ve lived their lives as performers and all bring such a spectacular energy to our lives, onstage and off. Every stereotype is blown out of the door, with constant humor, brilliance and WIT! Just the other day, we heard one of the best jokes about The Simpsons from a completely unexpected source, and it brought the entire cast to our knees! Let me tell you, at a time when you’re getting used to the set and trying to remember your lines, some good humor goes a long way.

But the world of A Christmas Carol is not a world populated only by adults. We all know the adage of showbiz is “never work with kids!” And to be completely honest, whenever I’ve worked with children, that thought has crossed my mind. Multiple times. But not here. The younger actors we are lucky enough to work with in this production blow that idea out of the water. I have never seen more honest and less precocious performances from children than the ones our kids are bringing. It’s more than merely refreshing, it’s exciting. And they’re all pros! I’ll admit, whenever someone gets confused as to where they’re supposed to be – they can just ask one of our kids, because they will know the answer.

Every day in rehearsal I feel truly blessed not only to witness and learn from everyone’s work ethic, but also because I get to spend time with such wonderful people. I have not experienced such warmth in rehearsals in my entire life. It’s a lovely thing to experience at all, much less during the holidays.

Come see the show and you’ll see what I mean! A Christmas Carol is playing at The Group Rep. Tickets are available now.

Happy Holidays!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

click HERE to go to the next installment.

A Christmas Carol!

2009-11-16T23:39:00.000-08:00

This is the first entry from the A Christmas Carol Rehearsal Blog. [it's playing at The Group Rep] Here is your first look into what the rehearsal process is actually like. The best part about this show is not only is it a brand new musical adaptation of the famous Dickens’ book, but it’s also the Los Angeles Premiere! All of us at The Group Rep are excited to put on the premiere and look forward to sharing this wonderful piece of theatre with the world.

I haven’t mentioned this before, but I joined rehearsals as an immediate replacement. When I accepted the role, I was performing in another show and scheduling made it so that I couldn’t join rehearsals until they had already been in progress for a couple of weeks. I’ve been an immediate replacement a few times before and it is very… real. Immediately. Everyone else had been working with and getting familiar with the material for weeks so there was quite a lot of catching up to do. I was also dealing with the nerves of being the “new guy” who is introduced to everyone all at once. The best thing to do in these situations is just dive in. Be fearless. Besides, I had a lot of work to do.

The first two days I was there were spent entirely on music – and the first song we worked on was “Fezziwig’s Carol” – my number. Since this is a premiere, I have never heard or even read the music. I kept saying to myself “Just dive in! Just dive in!” It was, to say the least, overwhelming. I was still performing in the other show - there were times when I was sure my head would explode from the alarming rate I was stuffing new information into it. But – the music was wonderful and the arrangements were so lush! How could I not forget how completely exhausted my body was and just let go?

It felt good. It felt right.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

click HERE to go to the next installment.

How I Got My Equity Card -or- Pump Your Brakes

2009-10-23T20:52:00.000-07:00

Actors' Equity Association. "AEA" or "Equity", founded in 1913, is the labor union that represents more than 48,000 Actors and Stage Managers in the United States. Equity seeks to advance, promote and foster the art of live theatre as an essential component of our society. Equity negotiates wages and working conditions, and provides a wide range of benefits; including health and pension plans, for its members.

During my sophomore year at NYU I got a job as an EMC (Equity Membership Candidate) at The Papermill Playhouse in Millburn, NJ. Their producer, Roy Miller and their artistic director, Robert Johanson, wanted me to be in the ensemble for their production of Man of La Mancha and also understudy one of the principal roles. It took a long time for me to find out because they had to make a special deal with Equity to allow me to be able to do that job. I appreciated it – not only did it allow me to do that show, but the way the artistic staff believed in me gave me the confidence I needed to perform at such a prestigious venue for the first time.

But I was still just an EMC. While my ego was bruised at first, it ended up being a good thing, because I was able to play some roles while I finished university that I would most likely not have been able to if I had my equity card. I played the Witch in Into the Woods. As a woman. Charles in Pippin. The Senator in Hello Again. Let’s face it, I would not have gotten to play roles like that as a 20 year old if it weren’t for imaginative directors working Off-Broadway. I now think of this as an integral part of my development as an artist. I had been exposed to highly commercial theater and I also got to get down and dirty like any twenty year old artist needs to. I still needed to cut my teeth, as it were.

After La Mancha closed, I went back to school. Begrudgingly. It was a serious reality check going from working in a sold out run at “The State Theater of New Jersey” (and all of the luxury that goes with that) to living in a dorm and getting up early for class five times a week. And I still had two years to go.

During my final semester I got tonsillitis (while I was playing Charles in Pippin, I might add) and had to miss just over two weeks of academic classes. I was struggling to keep up with my work when three weeks before the end of the semester my Art History teacher informed me that there was no way I could pass that class and the best thing for me to do would be to withdraw. Not passing that class meant not graduating early, as I had planned. DRAMA! I was beyond disappointed - I was supposed to graduate in three weeks! I moped around for a week when I saw an ad for an audition for the national tour of Freedom Train: The Harriet Tubman Story. I wasn’t too keen on going on tour at that time, but I just couldn’t imagine going back to school immediately.

I went to the audition and got called straight to the final callbacks. I wasn’t nervous until I opened the door and saw the entire creative team behind the table. There were at least ten auditors - there were so many people that they actually had to push two tables together to fit them all! I sang my song, read the scene and went home thinking that they weren't too impressed and I really should register for the next semester. Within an hour, I got the call to do the show.

Six weeks later I was on the road, freezing my ass off in the snow belt. It was cold. This was the kind of winter weather where the temperature wouldn’t get much warmer than six or seven degrees. Sometimes, it seemed like I would never get warm. I got a cold that lasted three weeks! But I got to see so many cities and perform in some of our country’s most beautiful theaters that have been around since the vaudeville age. You could feel the magic in some of these old and ornate palaces. As difficult as the touring lifestyle is, and it IS difficult, I felt like the luckiest man alive as soon as I made my first entrance onstage every night.

And I got my equity card.

Yes, I do feel fortunate to that I got to join the union while I was still in college. And yes, that is pretty rare. When you're in drama school, everyone is focused on getting their equity card or at least becoming an EMC as soon as possible because you can't even audition for big shows unless you are a member of the union. I had spent some time taking class at NYU while still in high school and I wanted my equity card then! But I was no where near ready for that sort of artistic responsibility. I remember being frustrated that I didn't get my card from working at Papermill. I think the important lesson for me was that I had to keep working hard, growing as an artist and the union status would come at the right time. And boy did it! Instead of having to go back to school when I thought I was finished, I got to take a semester off and go on the road. I finished school the next fall right around the time I got my SAG card...

But that's another story.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Rehearsal Hall Surprise!

2009-10-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Look who I ran into the rehearsal hall at the Center Theater Group! CTG runs the Ahmansan, the Mark Taper Forum and the Kirk Douglas Theater. You all know Lea Michele from the TV's GLEE[!]. What you may not realize is that she comes from the Broadway musical Spring Awakening. Jonathan Groff was her costar in that musical, and will be playing her possible love interest on GLEE! WHAAAAAAAAAT?! Sounds like fun. They're doing a workshop of a new musical at CTG, which could end up being exciting. Either way, it was fun to hang with them both during a break, albeit briefly. What resulted is a surprisingly good picture. Note how tired we all look. I would like to add that this pic was taken about 45 seconds after I had finished singing a vigorous ten page song - that's why I look so "awesome."

Jonathan, Soccerboy, Lea. (photo credit: Jonathan Groff)

Box-Office Round Up: October Eleventh, 2009

2009-10-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

5. Paranormal Activity $7.07 million [week three]. Well! The folks at Paramount are surely jumping up and down based on these numbers! I know that seven million does not seem like a huge number, but you must consider that it’s only on 160 screens and is getting a $44,000 per screen average. That’s good news, the next highest per screen average is $11,700 and that belongs to the number one movie! PLUS – this picture pretty much succeeded on the basis of viral marketing. This movie has been a trending topic on Twitter for the last ten days – all based on a few well-placed trailers. Well done, Paramount. Well done.

4. Toy Story 1 and 2 in 3D [re-release] $7.7 million [week two]. I think everyone knew that these would place in the top five – I mean these are new animation classics! What else is there to say?

3. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs $12 million [week four]. Since this the first edition of The Dup in quite some time, I feel I should mention the fact that everyone was surprised at how well this movie is doing. Anyone who tells you differently is lying to your face. Yes, it’s based on a longtime bestselling children’s book, but those fail as movies all the time! [Ahem, The Seeker: the Dark is Rising] The key with children’s movie adaptations is to keep the budget low enough so that home video can save you if need be, because we all know that as much as any kiddie flick makes in it’s theatrical release, it’s always going to at least double that on home video because parents will always need something to occupy their kids without them.

2. Zombieland $15 million [week two]. I had no idea how this movie was tracking before it was released; all I knew was that those ads and trailers seemed to keep getting funnier the more I saw of them. This movie is a bona fide hit – it made its budget back [and more] on its opening weekend. Pundits say that this is an example of the death of star vehicles, but… I don’t agree. Yes, this is a small film without any huge box office actors in it – but Woody Harrelson is a name. Jesse Eisenberg is a name of sorts, he’s still up and coming but people definitely mention that it’s got the dude from Adventureland. Once you factor in its genre roots and the fact that it was the first genre flick of it’s kind to open in October for Halloween’s sake, you had to imagine that it’s be a hit. That being said, I also think that if this movie starred two hugely well known actors everyone involved would have to spend so much time explaining why their stars aren’t actually slumming that it wouldn’t be a hit at all – even un-savvy audiences would think it looked like a payday.

1. Couples Retreat $35.3 million [opening weekend]. Couples retreat is an example of good marketing. There have been outdoor print ads up for a few weeks now and they never seemed to be apologizing for themselves (see Surrogates). In fact it was exactly the way I felt about the print ads for The Hangover. I had not seen a trailer, but somehow these ads just began to look funnier the more I looked at them as the weeks rolled by. Then I finally sat down and watched the trailer – I had no idea that it had Vince Vaughn AND Jon Favreau - that’s like every bachelor’s favorite pairing. And then I learned that they wrote this picture together! As soon as I found that out, I knew that it would be a hit. And in fact, it’s the highest gross for a movie they wrote and starred in. ALREADY! Actually, they broke their previous two movies’ grosses (Swingers and Made) sometime early Friday evening. I’m just saying. Congrats to the boys – for a lot of us, Vince and Jon feel like people we know. They’re there because we put them there.

[ © MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

One. Year. Old.

2009-07-11T14:54:00.000-07:00

One year ago today Soccerboy in LA began! When I started I had no idea where it would take me, or even if I’d really have anything to say that would take me farther than one month. I’m surprised. And grateful. This is the most amazing journey, and it has been/is nowhere near easy. It was always fun and compelling, but the learning curve was steep.

A week after the first feature I wrote one titled One. Week. Old. When I look back, that feature is surprisingly in tune with the obstacles and successes I have encountered in the past year. This is just a taste of what I’ve learned on this path of following my dreams.

Believe in your work. Love your work. Pour your entire being into your work. Make brave choices in your work. Never settle for mediocrity. Demand the best out of yourself every single day, and when that begins to feel old renew that feeling.

No one is going to give anything to you – you must be prepared to do it yourself. It may be surprising at first, but you get used to it. As soon as you realize that you have complete creative control, you’ll love doing it all yourself. Doing it yourself also means that when things go wrong, you are the person who has to fix them. The longer you wait to get things fixed, the longer you will wait for results. All sorts of results – results you can’t even imagine.

As soon as you begin to get results, people will try to take everything away from you, or explain it away. They will call you crazy, or worse. They’ll say “You got lucky,” or “You’re not talented,” or “Your work isn’t good.” Even if you’re getting genuine compliments from people, there will always be the buzz of vultures. Sometimes they’ll even be brave enough to say hurtful things to your face. Let them, congratulate their courage but Never Defend Your Work. Besides, how are you going to let someone who sits on their ass all day and does nothing creative get inside your head? Then, move along. Once you’re far enough away, you’ll realize that their hatred is simply ceremonial; it confirms that you are winning. When you’ve done something for yourself, no one can take it away from you.

Don’t trust everyone. Look directly into people’s eyes and you will know who is worthy of your trust. Immediately.

Know when a compliment is genuine. Never be afraid to hear constructive criticism.

Surround yourself with supportive people. Become a supportive person – it’s much more fulfilling than you realize.

Maybe most importantly: Be a nice person. I like being nice, compassionate and loving. It’s one of my favorite things about being human. In fact I think that’s what’s missing from the world and causes a lot of our problems. It also makes it much easier to build personal and business relationships. The problem is when you are nice, many people will perceive that you are weak and will try to stop you, fuck you over, overlook you or dismiss you. You must remain strong. You must always be willing to stand up for yourself and your work. And if you have to, remind them that being nice is just a choice.

Never. Give. Up.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : The Last Day

2009-05-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

The view from from my bedroom's balcony in my apartment in Cannes. [click pic to view larger]

Tuesday May 24, 2005

The Beautiful Letdown.

My blackberry’s alarm went off right around three AM, waking me up from a fuzzy dream. I showered and went out onto the balcony to wait for the call from the van. It was the middle of the night and the moon was big over the Med. Somehow everything felt normal. The festival was gone, and so were all the people. This was the first time since we had arrived that Cannes felt like the city it is the rest of the year. It felt familiar, the way a sleepy town on the French Riviera should feel – glamorous for all the right reasons.

“That’s it,” I said to myself. “It’s over.”

Even after having driven our host to the airport, there was no real closure on the experience. The wrap party didn’t accomplish that for me either. Now we just waited to see how we’d accomplish the next step, selling the show. I was a bit sad because I no longer felt the same sureness about getting the show sold as I had before we went to Cannes – and it wouldn’t be because of the content. In fact, the footage we got had great potential for being a very good show. But I no longer trusted the ability of everyone above me to have the expertise to get this show to air. And as long as every new idea I had was thrown out before I had a chance to prove it’s relevance or at least thought through first, I couldn’t even save the show on my own. I sighed.

It was a heartbreaking realisation.

I listened to the waves crash below me and looked at the moon hovering over the water. This really is a beautiful place, I thought to myself. As crazy and exhausting as this trip had been, I knew I would miss being here.

We got the call from the van to pick us all up and take us to the airport. I was beyond ready to leave. We listened to the radio in silence, too tired to talk. I looked at my director, who had trusted me more than anyone else on the production team in the previous two weeks and was the only other person who spent as much time at the house in St. Tropez with me. We exchanged a real look. We knew we had experienced something really special. Just then, the driver of the van turned up the volume on the radio; he said it was playing his favorite song. We listened to the song as he drove through the hills and out of Cannes.

I thought of everything that had happened: good, bad and ugly. I made a decision right then that I would come back to Festival de Cannes many times in my future. And as soon as I thought it, I knew it was true.

We drove through neighborhoods, past mountains, and saw the Mediterranean one last time that trip. The song on the radio was Keane’s Somewhere Only We Know.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Fourteen

2009-05-25T20:14:00.001-07:00

Monday May 23, 2005

My now trusty blackberry’s alarm woke me up at 6:45 that morning and I was so hungover I wasn’t even in pain. I knocked on our host’s door and we drove off. It was a pretty morning – and with the Med in view, it felt spectacular. We got to a tollbooth on the A8 [Ah-WEET] and realized that neither one of us had cash. Now this was no American toll experience, this toll plaza had six lanes and no attendants at all. We couldn’t figure out what to do, there was a gate that had to open and I wasn’t about to bust through it while I was in another country with a “cocktail flu.” Our host promptly began to freak out about missing her flight, and I understood – she had to make four connecting flights to get back to LA and if she missed the first one all the rest were screwed.

I had an idea and asked for her credit card, I was going to put it in the cash slot. She was understandably reluctant to give it to me and asked me if I had one. I lied and said no. At this point, I was feeling so used that I refused to risk my own card. What if it just took it? This ridiculous errand of chauffeuring our host to the airport was not something I was willing to lose my credit card over. I also refused to pay the toll fee myself - even in a hired car you're expected to pay toll charges yourself! So I refused. And you know what? She had no choice! It wasn’t my flight that I was going to miss if we were stuck at a toll booth on the A8. So she handed me her credit card. She was asking me what I was going to do with it when I hastily pushed it into the cash slot.

She gasped.

I had several long seconds to think about what I had just done – what if it didn’t work? What if it took her card! And then the machine made a noise and returned the card and provided a receipt. I snatched the card back and the gate opened. We both cheered! And I drove off before something had a chance of happening. She exclaimed that I was brilliant and I just laughed. She asked me how I knew that the cash slot would take cards and I told her the truth. In all my experiences in Europe I kept seeing how much smarter they were than the States in many ways and I had a feeling that it should work that way.

I got our host to the airport in time and as she was about to get out of the car, we exchanged a long and meaningful look. We had both survived so much in the past two weeks, and in a lot of ways we trusted each other more than we trusted anyone else who was on this trip with us. It was some serious eye contact, in that moment we really saw each other. She sighed. I shook my head in disbelief, and hugged her.

“This has been fucking crazy!” she said.

“I know!” I said. I could tell that mentally she was already on to her next thing. I would have the rest of the week off before we started to cut the footage, but she would be back in her office solving more problems and putting out more fires tomorrow. We’d catch up again in a week. I watched her walk away into the airport, and I felt an amazing amount of relief. It was over – we had no show to shoot as long as she wasn’t with us. A huge weight had been lifted.

I got back to Cannes where I had no problem parking the rental on the Croisette. I got back to the apartment and passed out for a couple of hours. I remember our coordinator coming to pick up the keys to the rental but not much else.

I made myself one killer cup of earl grey [with cream and sugar of course] and drank it on our patio, looking out at the Med and the Croisette directly below. Looking at the Croisette was a completely different experience even from the day before. The festival was over, it was literally being packed up and taken away. It was very similar to the way life feels on January 1st, except that it wasn’t après-noel and we were on the Riviera. It felt like the day after your birthday. Sort of. Well, not really. What did it feel like? Transition. We had shot everything we planned to shoot and more and at this point we were just waiting to leave. And you know what? I was ready to leave. It’s very easy to hear this story and think I was on some sort of pleasure cruise – but it wasn’t that way at all. We gave ourselves an astronomical level of stress to deal with and with good reason. Anything less than that level of commitment would have killed the show.

It felt like we had been in France for months, that months had passed since we left Los Angeles. LA. Even the name felt weird to say. For the first time in my life, I was more than ready to leave Europe. Was I? My brain was no longer tired from translating, and I had begun dreaming in French. Thankfully, the weather was grey to fit the mood.

My roomie and I spent the afternoon packing our bags. Our room was ridiculous. After the two weeks we had, getting it all back into our suitcases was akin to moving into a new apartment. What can I say? It was all very boy. And with good reason – sharing a room together during this crazy period had bonded us for life. It was like going to camp, but with money. Lots and lots of money. Whenever we were in our beds going to sleep we would talk. Really talk. And the best part is that is wasn’t always about what was going on with the production. It was real.

My EP returned to the apartment for the first time since the previous Wednesday to pack and told me to order a pizza for him.

Um... okay.

After the previous two weeks of ridiculous behavior from him, I was happy that he was trying to bond? The best part was once the pizza did arrive, he actually went back to his bedroom to avoid having to pay. Very classy. I actually had to ask him for money for the pizza he made me order for him. I broke it down for him like we were in elementary school. “You demanded that I order this pizza when none of us were hungry. You need to PAY. Right now.” I was finally beginning to figure out how to handle him. I would later learn that I would have to become much more aggressive to get this man to act in any way that was close to reasonable.

He ate, and we all went to a bar to meet up with the rest of the production for an impromptu wrap party. Everyone was celebratory, but I wasn’t in the mood – I was exhausted. Plus, we were about to spend a lot of time traveling together back to LA. I went because I knew that it was important to raise a drink with everyone else to commemorate what we had just accomplished. I stayed for less than half an hour, then went back to the apartment to make sure I had everything together.

I was about to go to bed when my EP told me to drive him back to the house in St. Tropez. It was less than five hours before I was supposed to leave for the airport to get back to LA and we were not flying nonstop – there was no way I was going to drive all that way there and back! My body couldn’t take it anymore. I told him no and said I was going to bed because I literally had twenty-seven hours of travel ahead of me. He didn’t care; all he cared about was not paying a taxi to take him back to St. Tropez. He asked me “What do you mean, no…?”

I thought of exactly how much I had been used in the past seven weeks. All the hard work I had put in to get us all to Cannes – the staying up late/getting up early plus all the ridiculousness I had endured once we finally got there amounted to nothing for him. I had been used, and in the worst way. If my life at this company was going to be like this, then not only did I not want to be there, but he didn’t deserve to have me. He was ridiculous without reason. A lot of the fires I had to put out were either caused by lack of focus, lack of expertise or just plain stupidity and once I realized that, I knew it would only be more of the same if we ever sold the show to network. And that’s if the network even agreed to let him be the EP, because unless my job depended on it, I couldn’t speak well of his ability or desire to produce.

And then I remembered that I didn’t have another job to go back to. When I joined his company, he needed me to start working that evening. And I did. And by quitting without any sort of notice, I burned bridges at the old agency. Being unemployed was not an option for me – I always thought that you shouldn’t quit a job until you have an offer for your next position.

So I kept my mouth shut. Luckily, my producer and our advisor both spoke up, and on my behalf. They knew firsthand what I had been through in the past two weeks and agreed that making me do that would be ridiculous. I interrupted them anyway.

“No.” I repeated. “I’m going to bed.”

Go straight to THE LAST DAY

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Thirteen

2009-05-24T18:54:00.000-07:00

Sunday May 22, 2005

We woke up late. I was excited to have a full two days without an engagement in Cannes. It would be a welcome break from the stress and I was on the Riviera! The mood was now completely relaxed – we had gotten more than all the footage we needed, and the footage we had gotten was phenomenal. I walked around the area surrounding and including the Croisette. After two ridiculous weeks, this crazy place felt like home. The crowds were mostly gone, but vestiges of magic hung in the air.

We were deciding what to do for dinner when my blackberry rang again. By now, I was getting really tired of the it. Really. Tired. Two weeks before, I was amazed that I had email in my hand, but now all I thought was that it was just a fucking phone. I answered it anyway. I immediately wished I hadn't. It was my Executive Producer calling with an invitation for us to come back to the house in St. Tropez for dinner. I didn’t know if I could take it, but we decided that going would be the right thing to do.

I hung up the phone and thought about the situation.

My EP had been staying at the house in St. Tropez since Wednesday. Thinking about that tugged at my emotions. The Festival de Cannes is made up of two parts; one is the film festival that the entire world knows about and the other is the Marché du Film - the film market. The Marché is where films are shown [even if they aren’t an official selection of the festival] to potential buyers in hopes of securing distribution.

If our EP didn’t want to be a functioning executive on the production but was more comfortable securing deals, the Marché was the perfect place for him. It’s the place where a few minutes of really good footage could possibly sell our show to a few international territories. Other countries are always fascinated with the American movie star celebrity machine. We didn't need multiple episodes edited - we just needed a few minutes of edited footage! Most importantly, selling rights to foreign territories would easily pay back our budget and pay for our budget for the next YEAR.

Often, film buyers' schedules are so packed with screenings that they only have twenty to thirty minutes to commit to one property before they run off to their next screening. This is how many films are bought around the world. It's also why film buyers generally don't have the most fun at Cannes.

To be fair, I didn’t expect to sell it to the entire planet without it having been on the air as of yet, but we could have sold enough territories [even some territories in the States] to pay for more than the rest of our production costs. Yes, it would be difficult. He would have to step outside of his comfort zone, but isn’t that what he signed up for when he decided to be an Executive Producer of an show that was completely independent? He’d have to get out there and actually sell this show, even if it didn’t feel sexy to do so.

But he was out in St. Tropez on vacation. As much as we would like to believe that you can do business entirely over the phone, when you’re in the position we were in you just might have to get off your ass and actually do something in person.

The worst part of recognizing this, was remembering that I suggested it two days after he hired me. As soon as I got the offer, I began to research the festival - and it became clear that the Marché du Film was a place to sell filmed entertainment! But as I soon found out, any time I came up with an original idea in the previous five weeks, it would be thrown out summarily. Yet another example of a person in power feeling threatened by someone's ideas. But there was no reason to feel threatened. He was the Executive Producer of an indie production - there was no way for me to take his job, or get promoted over him! And besides, didn't he hire me because of my ability to do this job well and come up with smart ideas...?

I had hoped to prove myself while we were in Cannes, and I definitely did, but by then it was too late. We needed him to have been on this aspect of our show since day one. I began to realise that if he didn’t want to be an actual production executive or a distribution executive then he didn’t really want to be an Executive Producer at all.

Or worse - he didn’t know how to.

And just like that, I no longer had the highest hopes for us selling the show in the time frame that we needed.

I drove one of the producers, our advisor and myself over to the house in St. Tropez in the production’s rental car. I have driven in France many times, but this somehow felt like a first. I wasn’t driving whilst on holiday, I was working in France and driving.

This time at the house, it was just our hosts and some people from our production. We had a phenomenal evening – extremely relaxed. There was a large cheese plate we were nipping at. I had some of the best cheese I have ever had in my life – there was a Roquefort so pure that when it sat out on the kind of warm day we were having, it would melt. MELT! I also had the best cheddar I have ever tasted in my entire life. In France. If fact, at dinner I was seated next to our host and actually stole the very last bit of cheddar in the house off of her plate when she wasn’t looking. She looked back at her plate quizzically, and I said nothing. I wasn’t even sorry!

Because our production coordinator had gotten the flu, I was the chauffeur of the evening. I was told that our host didn’t have a ride to the airport at seven the next morning so I would have to be the one to take her. But first, I would have to take some other people back to Cannes, then come back, “spend the night” and take our host to the airport in Nice thirty miles away!

I was pretty angry about the situation. It was clear that I was being used. I began to wonder if that was the real reason I was "invited" over to the house for dinner. I mean - I loved the host of our show and all, but she was supposed to be taking care of her own travel arrangements.

I took them back to Cannes, then drove back to St. Tropez. As I drove, I looked at the stars above the Mediterranean and took in the quiet. Driving alone in a car in another country is a special kind of freedom.

I got back to the house and finished the evening. Having finally slept so well for the last 24 hours, I had a difficult time getting to sleep and hung out with everyone else. We actually had a good time, we reflected on the events of the previous two weeks and bonded more. It was special, but by the time I got to bed, I had less than three hours of sleep ahead of me.

Le Ouch.

Go straight to Day FOURTEEN

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Twelve

2009-05-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 21, 2005

Again, I woke up in a bed in this house that was no longer strange to me. Again, my stomach rumbled, except this time it was serious. I spent the next two hours in and out of the bathroom. This was bad, really bad.

Today we had an event to shoot. The plan was for all of us to get in our host’s boat and ride from the marina near Cannes to Monte Carlo for the Grand Prix.

The Monaco Grand Prix in Monte Carlo!

I got a kaolin pill [French Kaopectate, more or less] from the host, who assured me it would at least help me make it back to the apartment without any problems. We got in the car and made our way back to Cannes to get ready for the long day ahead. At this point I knew something was wrong with my digestive system – I had to get back to the apartment immediately. I wasn’t sure if it was something I had eaten, but I did get confirmation that MDNA could cause this reaction if you weren’t used to it.

Damn, Damn, Damn! Of all the times not to have a drug problem!

The car ride home, which was on a windy road on a cliff next to the sea, was tumultuous. I don’t think I’ve ever been so sweaty from just sitting down. Best of all, we could only get dropped off at the entrance to the city center in Cannes. We were staying inside the festival boundaries, and you couldn’t get a car in without a pass. We would have to walk the last three quarters of a mile back to our flat. I didn’t know if I would make it – I wanted to run, but knew that would just make everything... worse. By the grace of god I made it upstairs and into the bathroom.

I laid in my bed. My roomie heard my stomach churning and asked if I was okay. I told him I would be. After an hour or so, it was time to head over to the boat. I knew that I couldn’t – I was in pain. My digestive system was torn up. So I stayed.

That decision was unpopular.

Everyone actually expected me to run the show even considering the condition I was in. We were shooting our host’s final event and it was the climax, where she would receive the contract from Yari – the point of the entire show. I couldn't believe I had to miss it. If we were shooting on a soundstage, or at any stable location with restroom facilities I would have suffered through it. But the idea of riding on a small boat in the sea for thirty miles, only to then have to shoot more and then go onto an event on a cruise ship equaled hell. I had to take care of myself, I had no choice. For ONCE, they would have to act like the adults they were and get the job done themselves!

Then we ran out of toilet paper at the flat. In both bathrooms. I dragged myself out of bed and down the street to the little "Huit á Huit." In English, "Huit á Huit" means "Eight to Eight." You know, like our 7-Elevens. Except with good wine. And astounding cheese. And foie gras. And prepared food that won't cause a heart attack tonight. Like ours except better. You know... French. I had been buying yogurt, cheese, baguettes, bottles water and other rations there and the person behind the register recognized me. I looked positively ghastly. She gasped at my appearance.

"Sacre Dieu! Vous semblez terrible!" she said. [Oh my God! You look terrible!]

"Je sais." I said. [I know]

She put her hand over her heart, which needed no words. "Bless his heart." I knew from her reaction that I was correct about how awful I looked. I waved and trudged back up to our flat.

After several more painful hours where I alternated between sleep and trips to the bathroom, I woke up hungry. Normally after an experience like that the last thing you want to do is eat but I had eaten maybe five actual meals in the last 12 days and my GI tract was now completely empty. I made my way to the kebab shop and got two orders of frites. Back in the flat, I stuck the frites in the oven while I made an omelet. I remembered my roomie mentioning that he had an episode of Friends on his computer. I got the food all set up and started the episode.

This episode started in the coffee shop – thank god. As soon as it started, I cried. Cried! It took my favorite show to make me realise exactly how lonely I had been feeling for the last two weeks, especially with all the stress that was building up. It had been an interesting few weeks since I took this job. The only person I knew before was our Executive Producer, who had been notoriously absent once we got going in France. The rest of the people were folks I barely knew outside of a few production meetings. It was definitely not the sort of crowd one would usually go to another country with.

There is also something about being sick and having to take care of yourself in another country that magnifies the loneliness you were already trying your best to ignore. Sure, I had spoken to some folks from back home since I'd been in Cannes, but there were a few factors to consider. Since my personal mobile didn't work AT ALL in Europe [after powering up, it wouldn't even let me access my contacts!] I could only call people whose phone numbers I had memorized, which were only a few. Who has phone numbers memorized anymore when our mobiles store those numbers for us? And because wifi was spotty, the same was true for emails. Generally I could only email people on the BlackBerry, which came down to the few people whose email addresses I had memorized.

All in all, I felt very far away from my life in the States.

I knew within ten seconds that this episode of Friends was “The One Where Joey Speaks French.” It could not have been more appropriate. I watched and laughed and cried. I got halfway through my meal when I realised that I felt considerably better. Yay, potatoes! I tried to start a movie but I knew what I wanted to watch was that episode of Friends. I watched it multiple times.

At this point it was well after midnight and that it was that episode as much as it was the food that made me feel better. Just before I could start it again, I heard my flatmates in the hall returning from Monte Carlo.

What did I do? I opened a bottle of rosé and they told me all about their adventures in Monte Carlo, repeating that I should have come.

But I knew better.

Go Straight to Day THIRTEEN

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Eleven

2009-05-22T18:03:00.000-07:00

Friday May 20, 2005

I woke up to see the couple’s son moving around getting ready for school. After he saw me, he ran up to me, gave me a hug and said with pure happy surprise “You’re still here?! I can’t believe I have to go to school today!” We ate cereal and watched some Sky TV show hosted by Gordon Elliot. He was testing Range Rovers by having them drive through woodland obstacle courses while basically having grenades thrown at them. SkyTV. Classy.

I finally got back to sleep and heard that the chef was getting ready to make the trip to town to shop and would be able to take us back. My stomach rumbled something fierce. I have never felt anything like that in my entire life. I almost didn't make it to the bathroom.

I have never experienced anything like that before or since. As little as I had eaten in the past eleven days, almost every single bite of it was questionable. Come to think of it, that grilled lamb was extremely rare. So was that chicken. What exactly is in a kebab? And who knows how long that shrimp had been out of the fridge? I knew that with having eaten so little and having pure MDNA, my stomach was most likely emptying itself out. And quite painfully, I might add.

You get what you deserve.

The wife took me aside to ask me a favor. She had just discovered that one of the guests who had borrowed a swimsuit of hers had left with it. It was her favourite swimsuit. Her husband was the one who handed it to the girl because he knew it’d make his wife angry. Luckily, the girl left the party with our producer and she wanted me to ask him to call her to put her in touch with the thief.

We rode back into Cannes and I caught up with the crew and saw some amazing footage. Our camera operators were ecstatic that we were giving them so much freedom. Thank god for that, because thanks to my blackberry being completely out of juice and being “exiled in St. Tropez,” I wasn’t able to check in even if I had to.

Just as I was about to figure out what to do next my blackberry, which I had finally plugged in, rang. It was the owners of the house, asking me back to have dinner with them and some of their friends. I was happy to oblige. Why, you ask? Because when you’re trying to sell a show, and there are people whom you enjoy being with and they enjoy being with you and they are interested in your work, you go.

I was about to finally take a proper shower when my roomie stopped me. He was understandably unhappy about the fact that our EP, director and I had all spent so much time at the house near St. Tropez. I felt bad. He said we missed a party in the city where we could have gotten a lot of business done. That information hit hard. I fucked up. I missed my ride home and was stuck at that house. But why didn’t he call? If there was something he thought we all should be going to, then it was his responsibility as a producer to call us – we can’t read minds.

I apologized for my outburst and said that I was in a bad mood because I hadn’t slept well and my stomach was all fucked up. He apologized as well, and realized that he should have called. He was just angry because he felt like he was marooned in the city.

It’s funny how we both felt exactly the same way under different circumstances.

I asked him about the girl he had gone home with and explained to him about the situation with the swimsuit. He was the only person who had her phone number, would he call her and talk to her about it? He didn’t want to, and I didn’t understand why. This was the host’s favorite swimsuit and this girl took it. A phone call and a cup of coffee could take care of this entire situation – it was that easy. It’d be better if he at least made the first step before we went over to the house for dinner, because that would be the first thing the wife would bring up with him. It was very important to her.

This was one of those situations where you felt like you were in high school, and not for the obvious reasons. This was one of those times where the company you keep could get you into a sticky situation. A swimsuit might not seem like a big deal to you and me, but it mattered a lot to the host and after all their generosity, the least we could do was take care of this. The best thing to do would be to correct the problem as soon as possible and move on. I didn’t understand his reticence.

I was about to start getting cleaned up for dinner when he said he wanted to talk to me about something else. Oy, I thought to myself, this shit never ends! He became super polite and asked if it was possible for me to take a short shower because I had been using up all the hot water. That was strange, because I was well aware of the length of the showers I had been taking. Super aware. If only because of how many times I had been walked in on. For some reason, instead of debating, I asked him if he knew that the knob for hot water was on the right and that the knob for cold was on the left on these faucets. “WHAT?” he said. “Yeah, it’s not always like that in France but the temperature is reversed here in this apartment.” All he said was “Fuck.”

I was almost successful at not laughing. Almost.

We made our way back to the house in St. Tropez for dinner. The two of us were undeniably closer in the way friends can only be once they’ve yelled at each other and resolved it. He was a very cool guy, and I was happy to be getting to know him. There were a couple of other people there from our production. We started discussing business and us producers had to get other people on the phone. One of my favourite memories of that night is standing by the pool, barefoot in dress clothes, staring at the Med while I called the office of an agent at the agency I used to work for.

A lot had changed in the past few weeks.

Go straight to Day TWELVE

[MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Ten

2009-05-21T19:22:00.000-07:00

Thursday May 19, 2005

Soon after sunrise, I learned that the person who was driving people back and forth had long gone. I vaguely remembered him telling me several hours ago that he was making his last trip back to Cannes. I couldn’t walk back to the apartment, we were 10 miles away from Cannes! Our EP and one of our producers were still around somewhere [I knew things would get naughty] I just had to wait for them to wake so we could get back.

I started to feel fpretty hungry. I was averaging a meal once every 36 hours with hors d’oeuvres in between. The host’s eleven year-old son, who had been splashing me in the pool, showed me the kitchen. He was hungry too, but everyone was asleep.

“Why aren’t you in school today?" I asked him.

"I can't be bothered with school the day after a party," he replied in his little British accent.

Somehow he managed to not sound bratty. And he made sense; if his parents had a thumping party that went well into the wee hours on a school night during the festival, why should he have to go to school?

"Nice Life," I said.

“I know,” he said.

I decided to make eggs and a toasted baguette. Because I was still feeling the effects of the previous night, it nearly took an hour to make them, but they were easily the most amazing eggs I have ever had. We ate them down on the lower patio looking out at the sea. Why is it that the best meals I’ve ever had tend to be in Europe? Even if it’s eggs and a baguette...

At this point, the host came and joined us and had the rest of the eggs. He had gotten a couple of hours of sleep, but was basically in the same shape I was in. And we had a meeting. He and his wife owned one of those European cooking vacation schools in three countries and were interested in making a show about the whole thing. After seeing the work I was doing on this show (at Man Ray and the previous night) he was interested in working with me. I was aware that the MDNA was speaking then, but I didn’t care because it felt real. The one thing I will say about my experiences with MDNA, as limited as they are, is this: Yes, I connected with people more than usual and yes it all felt magical to share that much love, but it was always real and I immediately knew I didn’t need MDNA to feel that way. It just helped me see that I could feel that way.

I asked him how I could get back to Cannes and he told me that a taxi would be a ridiculous expense and during the festival it would be well over $100 euros! I gasped. He told me that if I could wait another day, I could ride into town with his chef who would be doing some shopping then. Tomorrow? Wow. We didn’t have an event for two more days, so I could easily stay, but… Wow. I wanted my bed, and I wanted to change clothes and I wanted my freedom but I didn’t really have a choice. I watched the sea rolling beneath us and let it all go. And then I laughed out loud. Was I really complaining about having to stay another day at a fantastic house in St. Tropez?! Not anymore, I wasn’t.

Soon thereafter we both took another tab…

Before long, some of the previous nights’ guests came back and we all swam in the pool until one guy broke out his acoustic guitar and played for us while we sang. As if we needed more reasons to feel that this was a magical experience. I was even coerced into improvising a song about my lost sunglasses. Really. We sang a lot of songs, but the one that undeniably set the mood was Keane’s Somewhere Only We Know. Only the guitarist and I knew it enough to sing it. I looked out at the azure sea as we sang that song and had one of those rare moments in life that felt perfect. The song was the perfect expression of that moment. As difficult and crazy and ridiculous as the previous week had been for me, I was still lucky to be there. All of my worries melted away.

I made my way inside the house to find a bed to lie down on for a minute. I found one of the guest rooms and I passed out around 5PM. I literally woke up with some girl in my arms. What the hell was going on??? My watch told me it was after 2AM and I felt dirty. Not morally, actually dirty – I hadn’t showered or brushed my teeth in two days! I went straight to the adjoining bathroom and started a shower while I brushed my teeth with my finger. Yes, with my finger - at least I did that.

After the shower I was awake and explored the house. I found the host of the party [this time the wife] sitting on her kitchen counter talking on her cell phone to the States. I was about to leave but she grabbed my wrist in the nicest way to stop me. For some reason, I felt like I was back in high school. She covered the phone and said “I’m just talking to Joel Shumacher, I’ll be done in a minute.” Whaaaaaaaat? She poured me a scotch and sat me down while she finished her call. Not only did she remember that I liked scotch, she remembered that I am a fan of Johnny Walker in particular. I was feeling pretty bad for basically squatting at her house because I didn’t have a ride into the city and she’s pouring me scotch?

After she got off the phone, we talked. It turned out that she was from Atlanta, just the same as me! At this point I was saying yes, so I was not surprised – there are no coincidences. We sat by her pool and talked. People began to wake up and join us. We played music and talked some more. It was exactly like one of those nights back at summer camp when you’d all sneak out of your cabins and talk around the fire, except we didn’t have sneak around. We were adults and this was allowed.

Go Straight to Day ELEVEN

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day NINE!

2009-05-20T18:36:00.000-07:00

Wednesday May 18, 2005

I woke up hearing noise come from the Croisette, which meant it was already late in the morning. Ugh, SHUT UP! I decided to call our director before the phones started ringing uncontrollably. At the party at Man Ray House, we had met a couple who lived in a house near St. Tropez and they were throwing a party for one of the larger production companies in the film industry. They invited us to come as their guests and also shoot our host doing her thing; it would be mutually beneficial. It would be an easy night, it wasn't her event so we needn't worry much about prep – we could just go in, grab some footage and get out. And if we found some champagne along the way it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Most importantly, it would be a great opportunity for the entire production to relax together. Even though we were shooting, the fact that it wasn’t one of our host’s events made it gravy. For the first time in weeks, we had nothing to lose.

We had planned for our host to have her hair and make-up done on camera at our apartment, and I wanted to make sure our director had everything he needed to get it all accomplished. He, of course, was good. So good that he told me he wasn’t going to be at the apartment for the session before the party and trusted me to get good footage. That's a helluva lot of trust.

He told me all I had to do was make sure nothing exploded and whatever we got would be great. All he needed was for me to get the setups secured at the house so he could work there. He was a gift. I called our coordinator to make sure he had communicated with all the stylists about what we needed and to make sure that the staff at the house also knew that we’d be there shooting.

Our idea for the styling segment was for our host to finally have a moment in Cannes where she looked relaxed. Well… relaxed and GLAM. It sounds silly, but when it comes to shooting television it’s very important that the idea of glamour is well represented. After we got a chance to see footage from the Tribeca Film Festival, I sat through one of the most ridiculous meetings in my life that could only be described as being about mascara.

Our coordinator confirmed the schedule with me and told me that the stylists would most likely be bringing some plus ones. I told him I didn’t care how many people we had in the apartment while we shot this, as long as they knew that we would no longer need their services as soon as our host left to go to the party. I had a feeling that without this statement, they would all somehow end up in our cars with us to get into the party. I felt like an asshole, but this party had nothing to do with our production so I had to protect the integrity of our own invitations to make sure we were able to shoot there.

I ran out to pick up some wine and cheese. By the time I had returned to the apartment, the stylists had begun to set up. Our host and her assistant got their makeup done and giggled with the stylists about all that had happened in the last week. It was fun and warm and I knew it would translate well on camera.

We had sent over a camera operator, sound, and our production coordinator hours before the party to shoot the preparations. The hosts of the party were using their private chef to cater the event so we were getting some beautiful footage.

Our host got dressed in my bathroom, which took less than five minutes. I was impressed – she was a pro. I hopped in there after her so I could shower quickly. I had lost track of time and forgot that I had to get myself ready for this party. I closed the bathroom door behind me and was about to place my towel on the sink when I saw a straw on the counter. Fuck. Our host was snorting coke. This would keep me on my toes at the party. I knew she could handle herself but she didn’t have to work there, she could let loose. That could be trouble. I got undressed and stepped into the shower when our host opened the door to the bathroom and got herself a good look at me goodies. After several long seconds, I cleared my throat and said “Excuse me.” She giggled naughtily and closed the door behind her. I showered quickly and as soon as I opened the curtain to grab my towel the bathroom door opened again and there was our advisor looking at me with a crooked grin. I was naked and wet and couldn’t reach my towel. She “apologized,” giggled, closed the door and left. Something was in the air tonight and I could feel it. This was not going to be an ordinary evening at all.

I already needed a glass of champagne.

I rode over with our EP and other producers. We had the same driver we had for the drive to Man Ray house and he asked me if I had ever found my sunglasses. It was sweet, and I felt ridiculous for having made a fool of myself. We had a long conversation in French where he told me that he understood, but sometimes things like that are only supposed to get you so far. They took me all the way to Cannes, but now it was time for another pair. Everyone else went in as we finished our conversation and I thanked him for the kind words.

I walked into the party alone, and was greeted by a barefoot kid in a tuxedo. A blue streak of recognition told me that he lived there. Just then, his father walked up and pointed me towards an ice sculpture, asking if I wanted a shot of tequila poured through the ice. I said yes. The shot was very cold, it snapped me back into the present. It is still the cleanest tasting shot of tequila I’ve ever had. That felt like an omen, and this time I recognized it. This was going to be one good party.

This house was on the side of a cliff overlooking the Mediterranean. On one side, the view was of the lights of Cannes and the rest was of the azure sea. The party took place outside around their pool. The overall effect was beyond dramatic. I went to check in with our crew to see where we were. We were going to run out of tape, we were getting so much good footage.

I was enjoying myself, having some concoction made with peach juice. How is it that I’m originally from Georgia and in France you can get peach juice at the grocery store like OJ? It seems unfair. I was about to ask for a glass of straight peach juice, when I heard arguing. I turned around and saw our supervising producer arguing with his girlfriend. Today was their anniversary and I can’t imagine that this is the way she wanted to be spending it. Yes they were literally on the Riviera during the Cannes Film Festival and though they may have been together, he was at work and they were not alone. Unfortunately, they couldn’t even get their own hotel room even for one night because of the mandatory two-week booking rule during the festival. And they were causing a scene by the pool. I rushed over to calm them down and found myself in the middle of the most juvenile argument. Fun times. After a half an hour I finally got them to be civil with each other only to have to literally separate them a few minutes later. This is not what I signed up for at all! Or was it? All I knew is that I had to make sure that they didn’t cause any more of a scene then they already had.

I dragged the SP over to a semi-secluded area where we both sat on a swing-set. We talked and he confided in me that he had so many problems from his mother and his girlfriend continually pushed those buttons. I thought back to our first full day in Cannes when he begged our production coordinator and me to go with him to find these men who had "attacked" his girlfriend. Something flashed in my brain and I figured him out. He was scared. That was it - that was why he was doing his job in the way he was. He was too scared to make any choices, yet also scared that he would lose his power. He was too scared to protect his girl himself back when she was "attacked," and too scared to love her now.

This is the modern man?

We talked for a minute and I was just about to suggest that therapy really could help him let go of a lot of his issues when he started crying. I felt for him, he clearly loved his girlfriend and really was trying. I gave him a hug and as I pulled away he leaned in and planted a big wet kiss on my mouth!

I immediately thought of Los Angeles and about Hollywood in general. There were so many occasions when I’ve been at someone's house or a party or a bar or a coffee shop or a bookstore or a gas station or a restaurant or a grocery store or a movie theater or a strip club or a ball game or a mall or a gym [!] where otherwise seemingly straight men would do what could only be described as hit on me. That’s exactly what it'd felt like. Even if they had a ring on their finger and their arm around their wife, they'd get that look in their eye. I’m a guy; I know that look! What is that about…?

I felt his tongue try to get inside my mouth and pushed him away. I was also painfully aware that we were on a swingset. He leaned in again and I held him away with my hand on his chest as I stood up. I said “That’s it dude, you’re on your own. Go back to your girlfriend and apologize - and you’d better sound like you mean it.” I did not sign up for this! Did I...? Yet as surreal as that moment was, it didn’t feel out of place when compared with the events of the previous week.

What the hell was going on?

I tried to make my way back to the bar but was stopped by the host who gave me that tequila shot earlier. He pulled me into the house, hugged me and thanked me for “saving the party.” For a second there I thought he was going to kiss me too, but thankfully he didn’t. All I could think of to say was an emphatic “You’re welcome.” I told him I had been putting out fires for the last five weeks and at that point I would just jump in. He told me he had some pure MDNA, and asked if I wanted one. I already knew my answer. It had been a long, long, long, long time since I last did that. Back in college you would always hear about the pure stuff from Europe like some sort of myth. You know, like dragons and fairies. “Yes. Yes I would like to take a tab of your super-pure MDNA.” Within two minutes I was very relaxed and that music was starting to sound good. European house music really is fantastic after all, isn’t it? I went straight to the bar and asked for a glass of peach juice. It occurred to me that peach juice would mix well with champagne. I had one and fell in love. I was trying to figure out what to call my new concoction when I found out that the drink I “invented” is called a Bellini. I didn’t feel stupid at all, I just felt like my good taste was confirmed. I really did fit in on the Riviera, now didn’t I? ;)

We danced and talked the night away as if we were characters in an F. Scott Fitzgerald novel and the next thing I knew, the bartenders had gone and 15 people were in the hot tub. I was feeling pretty... loving and was behind the bar creating drinks for people. The best beverage invented is rosé mixed with peach juice and a splash of champagne. If you have a chance to mix one for yourself, do – it’s quite the drink for 4AM. The next time I looked up, the sun was coming up as I chatted with some guests with our feet in the pool.

I watched the sun rise over the Mediterranean Sea for the first time in my life.

I thought about how far I’d come in the past few weeks. When I first started this job I was having a difficult time getting people on the phone and now I was being trusted by my director to get shots for him and was skipping lines at nightclubs in Cannes while paparazzi snapped my picture.

I watched the sun rise and felt that warm buzz of recognition that signaled that I’d remember this moment forever.

Go straight to Day TEN

[©MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Eight

2009-05-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

Tuesday May 17, 2005

I woke late the next morning to the ringing of my EP’s cell phone. After a few rings I dragged myself out of bed and realized I was alone in the apartment. Where the fuck was he without his phone?

Again?!

By the time I got back to the phone it had long gone to voicemail, and I debated whether or not to listen to it. It wasn’t my phone, and as a rule nobody answers anyone else’s mobile. But what if it was about the show? He was the Executive Producer after all. I needed to know what that message said. I pushed the little envelope button and waited. Relief! It was his sister wanting to know how everything was going. I sat on the couch and took a minute to think. It was beyond obvious this was on purpose. He was telling everyone [even his family] to leave him alone!

This worried me to no end – with so much on the line with this production, why on earth would he want to miss anything? I instinctively understood what kind of “producer” he was. In fact, he didn’t want to produce anything at all, he was more than happy to simply come up with ideas for shows and put together deals for those shows, but he was not at all interested in, or most importantly, he was not capable of seeing a production through to fruition. At best he was an agent, and we needed more. We deserved more.

I sat frozen in thought and could hear that jazz band playing live music down on the Croisette. It echoed loudly in the empty apartment. How the fuck was I supposed to remedy this situation? Everyone above me continued to exert the power their position granted them whether or not it ended up being good for the show. What should I do? The jazz band somehow got louder, and they were killing the song they were playing. Killing it…

The apartment phone rang. It was one of those old phones with a horrible clangy ring – you would jump to answer it just to stop that awful sound because it sounded like a hangover. It was one of my producers, who decided it was time for us to finally have drinks. Though many people on the production didn’t understand how he was actually useful, he really had an ability to feel energy and it would be the first time we would hang alone since I met him. Thank god, because I needed to talk to him.

The phone rang again, this time with questions from our director. He had already given up trying our EP after days of not getting him. Ouch. And YIKES. We basically had the next four days free without an event for our host (except an inconsequential one) and he needed parameters. He wanted to shoot some B-roll of the festival and what was going on in the city and also wanted to get fantastic location shots of the Riviera in general. I tried to think of how I could get in contact with the EP to ask him if this was OK, but I literally had his mobile in my hand and the clock was ticking – the crew needed to get going NOW, there was only so much available light in each day. I took a deep breath and gave him the OK to give our camera operators some much-deserved freedom to shoot some b-roll as long as they got what he needed first. What else were they supposed to do, sit on their thumbs? He was thankful for the freedom and I was thankful that he trusted me enough to listen to me.

I talked to my producer guardedly about what was going on, and neither of us had a solution. Was there a solution? It’s not like we could get our EP on the phone even if we had to. The best we could do was pick-up our EP’s slack without freaking out our crew, but this could only go so far.

As the producer and I walked down the Croisette, he stopped in front of a sunglass store and said to me “Now let’s get you some new sunglasses.” I just looked at him, dumbfounded. Worst of all, I really could have cried – it was that important to me. We looked and looked [Bless that man for his patience. Unfortunately for him, he will make an amazing husband for some woman sometime]. After many pairs, I finally found an amazing pair of YSL’s that I loved, but I still felt like I was cheating on my old pair. Oh well. The best thing about the new glasses was that they were much more in tune with the energy of the festival. They were flashier, yes, but they were also more elegant. I had changed in the previous month. I was much more aware and more ready to act on that awareness even when it was difficult. I even grew up a lot in the previous week. I had to.

We continued our pub crawl and ended up at a little out of the way bar and grill [what is this, 1988?] off the Croisette. We heard the music from outside and they were playing house music. At a bar and grill… It was past time for dinner so we went in and found out that this place might have been THE secret place in Cannes. A place where anyone could go and it’d be cool. Some people were in shorts while others were in black tie and gowns, yet it felt right. After a couple of rounds, the producer and I began to work the room. It sounds so cheesy, but sometimes there really isn’t a better description than that. We met a couple of women who worked in distribution and they bought us shots. Now, that’s game!

I had been thinking a lot about what we were doing in Cannes shooting a show in hopes to be purchased as a television show. I knew that our show was good and deserved to be on television, but I had recently admitted to myself that I had never heard of a show like ours that had shot it’s own pilot independently and gotten picked up as a series. Never. I was beginning to think we very well might need much more exposure than we had received to sell our show. I took a leap and decided to tell the shot-buying women my nascent idea. I gave them the background info and told them that we were there shooting our show as an idea for television. But then I asked them; what if we used all the footage we had gotten so far to make a feature documentary? Because the doc we were were shooting would be undeniably good, and would definitely be picked up by festivals. Then we could market the show as something that started from “That Hit Documentary That Was Incredibly Inspiring/Fun/Appropriately Trashy.” That idea was something that had not been done before, and our audience would pick up on that fact immediately without any judgmental baggage. The two ladies were dumbfounded. I asked them what they thought about this idea and they immediately said it was genius – the way it was innovative would command attention and money and best of all, it had not been done before. They thought it was the surest bet they had seen in Cannes so far and then they both handed me their cards and told me to contact them!

Now, I understand very well that they were drunk [they bought us shots, remember] and I didn’t expect them to ever get back to me or even remember me once I emailed them but I did know three things: these women were good at their jobs [so good, they got to go to Cannes] and because of the drinks, they would not lie about their opinions. A lot of people would assume that they would just be accommodating or even lie, but what I have learned is when people are drunk they rarely make up things, most likely they overreact to the truth.

And now, I bet you want to know if we took them home. Now don’t you...?

Go straight to DAY NINE

[©MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Seven

2009-05-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

Monday May 16, 2005

I woke up feeling good about the day ahead. It was the night of our host’s biggest party for Yari and therefore was our biggest day of the entire trip. It was being held at the Man Ray residence. Yes, that Man Ray. This was the big Yari Film Group party in Cannes. He had just released Crash, and would be releasing twenty more films over the next twenty months. And for that reason, it was called the Yari 20/20 party [in which Yari skillfully and subtly alludes to himself as a visionary] and everyone in town knew about it. It was THE party that night – and it wasn’t even attached to a specific film at the festival. It was hot.

I got a call from my Supervising Producer who was in a panic and asked how we were supposed to get to the party [Man Ray house was about 8 miles out of town]. At this point I should not have been surprised that he did not take care of something he told us he had. What I was surprised about was the fact that he waited until the afternoon of the party to tell us. It sounds like such a small problem, but without transportation to this party we couldn’t get the most important footage of the entire project. I went into quick mode and I looked in the phone book [which, by the way, is listed alphabetically in France the same way it is here in the states – in fact, the word for taxi in French is TAXI – just to let you know how difficult a task this was proving to be.] to call a taxi so we could at least get cameras and sound over to the venue. I also hired two sedans to take the rest of us there. We got Mercedes Maybach’s. In an hour. I’m not some super-genius, but I am aware of how to pick up a phone!

This really set off the EP – he didn’t understand [and with good reason] why our SP hadn’t taken care of this and lied to us by saying that he had. If the SP was having problems he easily could have called me. Hell, by this point, he’d taken to calling me to ask if he could wipe his ass! I calmed myself down, then shaved and showered. My EP on the other hand went off on our SP on the phone, and terrible things were said. The worst part was that they were all true. I will say it was nice to have my EP vocally happy with my performance, but I now knew for sure that I would have to keep a very keen eye on our SP from now on, even more than I was already.

I finally arrived at Man Ray house and immediately went to find our director. [I no longer found it necessary to ask our SP what was going on. I would go straight to the source from then on out. Stepping on toes? Yes, but it was the only way I could get information that I trusted. I reminded myself that I didn’t come to the Cannes Film Festival to fight over crayons, I actually had a job to do.] The good thing was that by now, our director and I were cultivating a sort of shorthand, which was as surprising as it was useful. He confided in me that he was worried about our host, she did not appear sober – and it definitely wasn’t wine. I got a good look at her and she was firing off orders at lightning speed. Fuck. This was not what we needed on the biggest night of the entire trip. When we took a break to change tape and battery packs, I went up to her with a bottle of water to see how she was doing. She looked stressed. Under control, but stressed. I gave her the water and she downed the entire bottle in two gulps. I was about to ask her how she felt about the night ahead, but before I knew it she was off again, yelling instructions at her assistant about the list for the VIP area. I took a deep breath.

We were only allowed to shoot the first few hours of the party because by this point in the festival, celebrities were beyond ready to let loose. Thank god for that. Everyone in Cannes had been there for a few days and many movies had already premiered. You have to understand, in a normal week in LA there may be one big premiere with the red carpet and the cameras and the riduculousness a week. At the Cannes Film Festival, it happened five times every day. Really. So although the festival was only on it's fifth day, it was like being in LA for a month.

We shot house exteriors, party prep, red carpet arrivals and got great footage of the party itself. Even though everyone was still in black tie, there was a different sort of relaxation in the air because the party was at a private residence so far away it was next door to Eden Roc. We were secluded. Because of the rocky shore, paparazzi couldn’t get any access at all. It was a brilliant choice by our host because this party quickly turned naughty. An Oscar winning actor got wasted and took two ladies with him into the bedroom to have sex. I only know this because I accidentally walked in on them. I stood there frozen in the doorway with a surprised grin on my face for what felt like several very long seconds until I came to. At that moment all three of them looked at me and I was not asked to leave – I left because I wanted to. For some reason, that was a major turning point for me being able to let everything go. I decided that for the rest of the trip, I would say yes as much as I wanted to, without guilt.

I made my way back to talk to our host who, after a couple of glasses of something, was much calmer. The party was going well and she was very happy with the way the evening was progressing. I decided it would be best not to tell her what was going on in the master suite right that second. She called the party a success, which was our cue to cut the cameras. Just as we were about to cut, her assistant ran up to her, telling her that people were climbing down rocks to get access to the smaller and more exclusive VIP area below the VIP area. Not only was this a guest list issue, but a safety issue. Our host freaked out properly. This was a serious test, it would be very easy to fix this problem just by yelling at the people climbing down there, but she could not yell here. There was too much at stake. On top of this she was also far from sober and was having difficulty thinking clearly enough to see a solution. She was lost in thought and valuable seconds were ticking away. I had an idea; I thought that sending security down there would be too large of a response, she should just go down there and politely and quietly remind them that was a private area and then quietly herd them back upstairs. The problem with that was no one from the production was not allowed to help her on camera because this show was the story of her performing her job, and we were just witnesses. We had set up this rule a long time ago, but never had a reason to enforce it. Now when the stakes were the highest we definitely couldn’t break it. I pulled out my blackberry and emailed her. Hers rang and she didn’t move to answer it. Of course not, she was in the middle of a crisis! Her phone rang again and she still didn’t move to get it, not even to turn off the stupid ringer! I moved right behind the camera and into her line of sight and made the phone sign with my hand urging her to look at it. She squinted at me because she was confused at what I was doing. For all I know in the state she was in, she thought I was trying to tell the man on third base to steal home. I changed my signs and pretended to air-type, then pointed at myself, made the phone hand sign and then pointed at her twice. It worked! She read the email on camera while her assistant kept asking her what they should do. Our host looked at me and smiled and was about to run downstairs to fix the problem when I made the talk-talk-talk sign with my hand at her to remind her that she had to say what the hell she was going to do on camera, otherwise the audience would be lost. Then the best thing happened, she laughed right at me like we were two stoned kids in college eating pizza and playing Nintendo. I couldn’t blame her, stoned or sober it was pretty damned funny. I made the keep rolling signal and covered my eyes with my hands because if we made eye contact again, we would lose it. She explained what the plan was to her assistant and they both rushed downstairs to the VIP VIP area.

I followed behind the camera and sound and stopped at the bar and told the bartender I needed a brand new bottle of champagne. He tried to give me a hard time, but I quickly told him my name and was about to say what I was doing there when he immediately backpedaled, apologized and handed me two bottles of Moët’s Brut. I grabbed some glasses and a bucket and went to the top of the stairs to wait for them. About twenty seconds later, they all trudged back upstairs looking guilty when I gave the champagne to our host and pointed for her to give it to the people she just removed from down there. I didn’t want anyone to get irate at this party, it just wasn’t allowed to happen. Some would call me a fool because problems like that make good television, but this party was a big deal for both Yari and our host. If anything awful enough happened to ruin this party, our host wouldn’t get her deal with Yari, and this show would never have a chance of getting picked up. She looked at me quizzically, and then a light bulb went off. She gave them the bottles of champagne as an apology for having to remove them from that area. They were stunned. And happy. They just scored about one hundred euros worth of fantastic champagne instead of being thrown out of the party altogether. One of them hugged our host and apologized to her! It was a good move, and one that would ensure they wouldn’t try it again. They walked off and our host turned to her assistant and told her to get someone to block off whatever they had just used to access that area from above. After her assistant ran off to get that covered, she looked directly into the camera and said “And… CUT.”

We turned off the cameras and sighed with relief. It had been a long evening.

I made my way to a bathroom only to find someone popping vicodin and I gladly accepted one. I had been prescribed vicodin once for an injury, and was well acquainted with its effects. What? I went to college!

At this point the party just about lifted off – the DJ was spinning fantastic music and more cases of champagne were brought out. I began to worry someone would end up in the pool. I made my way down to the sea level to get some air on the patio in the VIP VIP area. Membership has it’s privileges! After a few minutes, I realized that there was no bar down there and went back to the same bartender to give me two more bottles of Moet and glasses. I returned to the downstairs patio and revealed the champagne to cheers! Even amongst people who have the entire world at their fingertips, someone returning with rations of champagne can feel like a huge gift.

You see, life really is simple everywhere.

Before I knew it, it was 2AM. We had been there since before 5PM when the sun was still high in the sky. I reached down for my sunglasses around my neck and they were gone. I know this sounds melodramatic, but my eyes are sensitive to light. I started wearing sunglasses religiously when I was thirteen to stop getting headaches – and it worked. These were a pair of Dolce’s that I really couldn’t afford when I bought them. But when you keep sunglasses for multiple years they become affordable over time, is what I told myself. I was heartbroken. I looked everywhere – in the house, the bathroom, by the pool and under the deckchairs. I had done a fantastic job of keeping up with them – there is even a picture of me wearing them on the patio. I knew the truth, my sunglasses had been swallowed by the sea.

We left and I moped my way through cocktails at the Majestic, and through a dinner so late we left the restaurant close to six the next morning.

Go straight to Day EIGHT

[©MDTOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Six

2009-05-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday May 15, 2005

A day off. I woke up feeling really good. At noon. My EP was still asleep, and would literally sleep until the next morning, 24 hours later. There was coffee waiting and the three of us [our advisor, my roommate and myself] chatted the entire afternoon away until we figured we needed to get out of the house at some point to eat. We needed a quiet night and walked up into an interesting part of the city where there is only a cobblestone street the size of a sidewalk between the buildings. Very European. It was nice to feel like a normal person again. And by normal, I mean it was nice to sit down and eat a meal, like people do. The owner told us this was Cary Grant’s favorite restaurant in Cannes and that we were sitting at his favorite table there. Apparently, everywhere in Cannes is some icon’s favorite restaurant. I wonder if Cary also liked kebabs...? I realized I’d only eaten two proper meals since the night we arrived in Cannes. Apparently, all you have to be is able to survive on Champagne and hors d’oeuvres.

As we walked back home we took the long way around the marina for the view and spotted a boat that was having a party. We climbed onboard where I ran into three different people I knew from LA, and proceeded to party down. This was a “dead night” for the festival, so this was the only party happening down at sea level.

On the way home, we stopped to walk out onto the sea wall to look at the stars and listen to the waves. We were not alone and were passed what might have been the best joint I have ever smoked in my life. It was some well-deserved relaxation. Out in the Bay, there was a rigging that was anchored and on it were about 20 huge searchlights. They were the kind you see at movie premieres all the time except they were set in two concentric circles and had a very organized swoop pattern. Instead of being garish, it was appropriately glitzy and mesmerizing to watch. They came on after sunset every night and served as a reminder of where you were. You’d be rushing from one location to the next all stressed and trying to remember everything you needed and one look at them was a reality check. You were at the biggest and most important film festival in the world and these are two very special weeks of your life.

The three of us finally made it home and into the elevator to take us to our apartment on the fourth floor. I know, it’s ridiculous to take the elevator up four floors. But know this, in old apartments in France, each flight of stairs is equal to two flights in the States. After the evening we had, we weren’t walking up eight flights of stairs.

We stepped into the elevator, laughing up a storm. Just past the second floor the elevator stopped. We pushed all the buttons and nothing happened. One of us is claustrophobic and she is starting to freak the fuck out. I realize that it’s Sunday night and it would most likely be a very long time until we can get help – even with our blackberries. And who knows how to call the fire department in France anyway, is it 911? Do I have to push the + sign before I dial 011 33 and then 911 on my blackberry??? FUCK! Our advisor starts to yell – not for help, mind you – but yell because being stuck in this tiny space was getting to her. Truthfully, she was beginning to look street rat crazy. We had to get out immediately. I started to look around to figure out how we’re going to open the door to climb out when I see a sign in French telling me to pump a lever to open the car door in case of emergency. And it worked! We had to climb up and out of the elevator [which was much more difficult than you’d think, by the way] and as soon as we got out our claustro friend told us if we hadn’t gotten out in the next minute, we would have gotten hurt. It was funny, but I knew she wasn’t being funny. I just stared at her and poured her a rather large glass of wine.

It felt like another omen.

Go straight to Day SEVEN

[©MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Five

2009-05-16T17:09:00.000-07:00

Saturday May 14, 2005

I woke up to the phone ringing, of course. But it wasn’t mine, it was my EP’s cell. I looked in his room but he wasn’t there. Shit. Where the fuck was he? And who in hell leaves their phone when they’re the Executive Producer of a show shooting in Cannes? I’m pretty sure that in the same position, I would have had a heart attack. It rang again and I answered it. There were questions about the schedule that needed attending to. Luckily, I was able to piggyback on some wi-fi and didn’t have to shlep my laptop around looking for internet. As soon as I started some coffee, his cell rang again. This time it was an executive at a distribution company trying to set up a meeting with my EP and his boss, but he needed to know more info about the project to tell his boss immediately. At this point, I had a pretty good spiel ready that explained/sold the idea and underscored how it was different than reality television and why it was “important television.” He was impressed and was excited about the meeting. I was still in my jammies trying to find sugar cubes for my coffee when my blackberry rang - it was the Supervising Producer. He had a sound issue that we needed to take care of. Since I was the only person who spoke French now that our PA was fired, I would have to be the one to go get the equipment we needed. We had lunch, and ate what may be the best pizza I have ever had – and I am a pizza fiend. I dropped him off at the Carlton jetty [more on that place later] to get a shot of Paris Hilton getting off of a speedboat. Really. There were literally hundreds and hundreds of photographers hoping to get the same shot. They were all at street level, but we were allowed access to the jetty because of what we were doing and for whom. There is no way to understand what that amount of photographers feels like. I could feel that energy. I was there and I couldn’t fully comprehend it. The resulting shot of Paris Hilton getting off a speedboat would be seen around the entire world.

I found a couple of places to try for the needed equipment but since it was drizzling, there were no cabs available. I was literally forced to run around Cannes, without a proper map to find the places I was looking for before they closed. Of all the clothes I brought to France for my two-week trip, none of them were suitable for working out. The rule in Cannes really is: all you need is a tux. I did not make, as they say, a cute picture. At all.

As I ran around a city I was not really familiar with, reading road signs and sprinting through Eurail stations [really], I began to feel like Jason Bourne. Well, a Jason Bourne with stomach cramping from running so soon after eating. And who’s black, not that it matters. I was able to find what we needed at the third store when I got a call telling me that we no longer needed the cable I was sent to find. It turned out that the local sound guy we hired had one we could use.

Fun times.

As I trudged back to the apartment I wondered why the hell I just had to go through this awful experience. Why did our SP or our Production Coordinator not call our local sound guy first to ask if he had this cable? This was a failure to communicate. And withholding information happens a lot when people who have power are scared of losing it. They think that if they give up too much information, not only will we find out how they’re failing, but that we will take advantage of their failures. Many times, that is true. But the worst part of it all is when there is no real communication, the failures that happen because of it are much, much larger. Thinking of this not only made me annoyed, but also sad for the SP.

As mad as I was at him, I was just as pissed at myself. Why didn't I ask if the sound guy had a cable? Oh yeah, because it was the SP's job to do that before he asked me! I was just wrong for assuming he had done due diligence. I would have to keep watch over him and keep looking over his shoulder without him realizing it. With everything happening around me, the only reason I did that was because I actually cared about this project being done well.

I walked back upstairs to the apartment knowing at this point I had to shave and shower to get ready for that night’s event. I wasn’t attending the first event because there was no need to have ten people from our crew at a private dinner. And there were people on the crew who really, really, really wanted to go to a party on a yacht. Don’t get me wrong, yachts are great, in fact they are often phenomenal. Call me jaded, but going to a dinner where we would have to hide and whisper to not be noticed by the actual guests was not a good enough reason for me to get all lathered up about the prospect of “partying on a yacht.” Not so much. There was a party we were shooting after the yachtstravaganza that I had to attend. Because of this, I would have a good three hours all to myself before I had to leave! Another slice of heaven. After all the stress and running around I relaxed for the first time since LA. I opened a bottle of rosé, got out cheese and a baguette, sat on our patio and took it all in. I was in Cannes. For the Festival. There was a breeze blowing, the sun was getting lower in the sky and I heard house music playing on the Croisette. House music? It felt like The Riviera and all of a sudden I knew that tonight would be a great night. There were cameras and reporters everywhere all the time. The entire world was paying attention to this place, and you could feel it.

I made my way to the Carlton Jetty. A jetty is basically a long but small pier used to launch speedboats. If you’re staying on a yacht, and there are many yachts anchored in the bay, your vessel is too big to come up to the beach for you to get off. So you anchor your yacht in deep water and take a speedboat from there to the shore. The Carlton Jetty is arguably the most important jetty in Cannes. Some would mention the jetty at the Hotel du Cap, but I would remind them that the Hotel du Cap is located in Cap d’Antibes. The Carlton Jetty has become the place to make your entrance, it’s the same hotel where Grace Kelly and Cary Grant stay in the Hitchcock movie To Catch a Thief. I went to the end of the jetty because I needed to find out if they were still making launches to the yacht we were shooting on. I explained who I was and had a nice conversation with the launch coordinator who informed me that they were at capacity. Good, I just wanted to make sure that nothing horrible had happened. I knew if something had happened my blackberry would have blown up, but my psyche demanded that I go down there to find out for my self. And if something had happened, the launch coordinator would know. I was about to leave to have a drink and catch up on some emails next door when I was asked to do a short interview for an Italian TV show. Live. I figured why the hell not, isn’t this what you expect to do in Cannes?! It was easy and fun, I basically told them what I was doing in Cannes and what I thought of the festival. They were beyond appreciative for my help and must have had a difficult day finding celebrities to do interviews if they were so happy to have me do it.

I went back to L’Annex Byblos, the restaurant built on the beach to have a scotch and wait until it was time to head to the next venue. I was having trouble with security when the owner ran up to tell them that I was okay to be let in. The security team immediately became apologetic. I thanked him, and he thanked me for shooting at his restaurant. What was going on? It was strange being stopped by security at a restaurant [what restaurants even have security?] but stranger to have an owner run to have me let in. I slowly began to understand that in Cannes during the festival, you had to act like you belonged otherwise you wouldn’t get anywhere.

This is where I first saw Natalie Portman with her freshly shaved head. She was in Cannes for the Star Wars: Episode Three premiere and just had shaved her head for V for Vendetta. To say she looked stunning would be a gross understatement. To see her freshly shaved in that beaded black gown was… overwhelming. You could feel the light coming off of her. Because I couldn’t stop staring, I forced myself to turn around and bumped into Vincent Cassel, the French actor who was in Ocean’s Twelve and Derailed. He shook my hand and gave me a bro hug like he knew me as he exited the restaurant. Cameras flashed continuously. What was going on?

I began the long walk to VIP Room, which is halfway to Antibes. Why is it so hard to find a cab in Cannes? Bob Yari was hosting a birthday party for Ed Norton so we were shooting there. After a few minutes I stopped to get an ice cream and decided to ask some natives where the hell this place was. They told me where it was but also told me I would never get in – it was easily the most exclusive club in Cannes, maybe the most exclusive club in France, and it was “The actor Ed Norton’s birthday party.” Finally, I told them I would get them in if they took me there. They told me to my face that they didn’t believe me but would take me to see what happened.

We walked for about 20 minutes, and had what may have been one of the best conversations I have ever had. We talked about American politics [remember, this was 2005] and American tourists. They were, to say the least, surprised to meet someone like me.

When we finally arrived at VIP Room I saw there was a crowd of more than a hundred people trying to get into the club. I took a deep breath, put on my sunglasses [yes, it was nighttime], walked straight up, yelled “Pardon” in a French accent and the crowd parted. The security team unlocked the velvet rope and waived me in. I said “J’ai deux avec mois,” [I have two with me] and they let in my new friends. The look on the faces of this couple was of utter amazement. They live in France and have never been inside VIP Room. As we walked the red carpet into the club, cameras flashed and you could hear their clicking over the loud bass pumping inside the club. It’s a surreal feeling that’s difficult to describe. Strangely calm is closest.

Inside, I noticed that there was a huge revolving dancefloor and that everyone in this huge club was going NUTS. There was a sense of complete abandon in the air. This place was difficult to get into and if you made it past the door, you felt chosen. I thought about Studio 54. I made my way into the VIP room – yes, the club called VIP Room has it’s own VIP room inside – and caught up with the rest of the crew who were all going nuts themselves. They were getting great footage and realized that this might very well be the only time in their lives where they were allowed to get completely wasted while working as long as they were getting fantastic footage. It was hard not to fall under the spell of the festival. I was at what some would call the most exclusive disco in France for the actor Edward Norton’s birthday party. As soon as we knew we had gotten what we needed, I set off to explore. Since Norton had just done a movie with Yari about the porn industry in the Valley, there were porn stars everywhere dressed in bikinis with banners saying what state they came from as if they were pageant contestants. And these weren’t busted looking porn stars – these ladies were hot. I even got to dance with a few of them! At this point I did not care at all about the fact that I had run around a good bit of the city for no reason earlier that afternoon.

After a few more spins around the dancefloor, it was time to go – we had the next day off from shooting and I wanted to get up at a reasonable hour. As I was leaving the club, security warned me about papparazzi. Ha! I put my sunglasses on anyway and strode out the door to head back home. I tried in vain to find a cab and thought of jumping into a limo but didn’t want to press my luck. Hopping into unknown limos is how you end up alone with no clothes at a house in Italy three days later without knowing what the hell happened to you. Plus, the walk would be good for processing all the champagne I just downed. On the way home I ran into someone from the agency I used to work for and we were equally blown away to see each other. We weren’t friends, but were well enough acquainted to want to hug.

It may have been the best hug I had in a week.

Go straight to Day SIX

[MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right yatches, this shit is MINE!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Four

2009-05-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

Friday May 13, 2005

No rest for the weary. Friday the 13th, and it had already proven to be pretty awful. There was a general pall because of what had already happened, but we all rallied to shoot for the afternoon. My blackberry’s ring is actually what woke me up – I got a call from one of our camera operators because he was not able to find any other crew members on their phones. We were all excited to have been given blackberrys for the trip not only because we could call back home, but also keep up with email. This call proved to be the first of many phone calls like this that I would receive on the trip. “I know I’m supposed to talk to X about Y, but I can’t get X on the phone so I called you. I need Y…” After a lot of these calls, I began to wonder if they were even trying to get in touch with the people they said they were or if I was getting a reputation of being able to get things done. I was later vindicated on camera once when the host of our show was being asked questions by her assistant. Admittedly, there were a lot of questions and she didn’t have all the answers and got exasperated and actually said “I don’t know, ask Malcolm!” She did that because that’s how much I knew about what was going on her life over the next two weeks. Awesome for me! Not so awesome once other producers saw that footage and realized how it made them look. Or was it?

The person on the other end of the phone was one of our camera operators asking for new sheets for his bed. “Because they're itchy and they're bothering my allergies.” Can you hear the whining? Thank god he couldn’t hear me rolling my eyes. The funny thing was that we had reminded the crew to bring everything they needed to France, like Benadryl for example in case anyone was allergic to anything at all. He was all, “Oh, I’m not allergic to anything, I’m as strong as an ox!” Now he needed new sheets, because of his allergies. Every person I know who needs to sleep on hypo-allergenic sheets is well aware of that fact and travels with them. And when they forget to do so, they mention that immediately and usually apologize for being such an annoying dumbass before they ask where to buy sheets for themselves. I’m just saying. I then remembered how we had been told by acquaintances that this operator got great footage but was a pain in the ass to work with. We chose him because of his ability to get good footage but mostly because he was available. Now I knew why. I made a call to commiserate with our co-producer, who had a laugh attack but also told me he’d take care of it. And thank god, because word on the street was that outside of having excellent connections, calling him a producer was simply a vanity credit. More on him later.

Getting promoted in your life is an interesting experience. Less than four weeks ago I was working as an assistant at a very large and very successful talent agency in Beverly Hills. It was as difficult as you could imagine and just as soul crushing. But that’s what I expected of that position – being an assistant in the entertainment industry is legendarily ridiculous. Just ask anyone who’s worked for Harvey Weinstein or Scott Rudin or Anna Wintour. Seriously. Ask them. And I had just received a promotion that was a larger leap than most people would expect to have happen to them. I understood that and I didn’t take it for granted for one minute, but I also knew that I was more than capable of doing the job that was expected of me, yet I would still have to prove it. The short version is this: As much as I thought I had moved up in the world, I would still have to get coffee for people – I’d be getting coffee for far more important people, but I would still have to “get coffee.”

I began another list to make sure I followed up with the sheet situation, showered and caught up with the host and crew. Thankfully, we were getting great footage, so everyone’s mood was beginning to lighten up. The greatest aspect of shooting this doc was that we only really had to shoot while our host was working – she was definitely working a lot, but when she was done we were able to let go. Later, I had a drink with our director who felt a strong need to introduce me to someone who was doing some interesting things with Fred Astaire’s choreography. [He had no idea of the way I felt about Astaire or dance in general] I recognized this man instantly as we had met previously at the agency where I worked. Cannes is like that – it may be 9,000 miles away from Los Angeles but everyone there is a part of the film industry somehow so you run into people you know all the time. It felt nice because at the end of the day, I was in another country working with people I barely knew.

I finally made my way back to the apartment to go over the next day’s schedule and get it sent out to everyone – we were shooting a dinner party on one of the world’s largest yachts that was anchored in the bay and a many things needed to come together for it to be covered correctly. Normally an AP would not have to generate schedules, but again, I was the one person who knew all of the info and our production coordinator was busy shooting. By this point I was beyond exhausted from everything and (best of all!) everyone kept telling me I looked awful! Yay!

I felt like it had been one long day since I left LA four days before. Around nine o’clock, I crawled into bed and slept for almost twelve hours. For someone who had been having difficulty getting four consecutive hours, this was heaven.

Go straight to Day Five

[© MMIX MD TOTAL]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Three

2009-05-14T18:50:00.000-07:00

Thursday May 12, 2005

I woke up feeling pretty rested considering the amount of travel I had just gone through and the time change. Xanax, take me away! I could smell coffee brewing and thankfully, it smelled strong. I walked in my pajamas like a little kid to the living room to see that our advisor, who was a producer from England and had been through many Cannes Festivals, made it for us boys. It was the best cup of coffee I'd ever had up until that point, it cleared my head - hell it even unwrinkled my jammies! She gave us the lay of the land at Cannes. It’s different than most festivals, yes it’s the biggest and most well known and the most formal festival around, but we would have to hustle. For real. Every single person in this town was ambitious and wanted things themselves and with the festival ending in two weeks, their need was amplified. No one would give us anything, we’d have to get it for ourselves.

That afternoon we had a meeting with the entire production staff to make sure everyone knew what the hell was going on. As crazy as our lives had been for the previous month, everything was about to get ten times crazier. This was when we unveiled the schedule to our entire crew for the first time. Up until this point our host, her assistant and I were the only people who had fully understood exactly what was going to happen over the next two weeks. Not even our EP really knew what was about to happen. Our host had a lot to accomplish, so a lot would be expected of us physically as well as mentally. As an independent production, we were a relatively small crew, and camera/sound equipment gets heavy. With only two camera operators, they would be working in shifts. Long shifts. Even though we would have multiple days off, this was going to be a demanding experience. The days where we didn’t have events would be used getting alternate footage [B roll] as well as following our host around while she worked.

The energy in the room changed immediately.

I was trying to help people recover from the shock of hearing the real schedule when our Supervising Producer ran into our apartment saying that his girlfriend had been “attacked.” What? I didn’t mention that our supervising producer brought his girlfriend along with him? That’s right, he brought her along because their anniversary was to occur during the trip. Everyone seemed to be fine with this information, and as the new employee of the group I had no desire to be the lone contradictory voice. But I knew better than to think this would go well, those things never do. The only thing I knew for sure is that with a trip like this she would have felt like she would have gotten more real time with our SP if she had stayed home. At least then he would have wanted to devote some quality time on the phone. Instead, he would be working all the time and she would end up with hours and hours alone. In a foreign country.

He ran into the apartment and asked for our production coordinator and myself [because I am big and black] to come with him to find the guys. We ran several blocks while he explained how his girlfriend got scared. “Wait,” I asked “ I thought you said your girlfriend was attacked. Now you’re saying she was scared. What the fuck actually happened?” I felt for his girl, but if some asshole simply said some lewd things to her then my SP could comfort her himself – we really were in the middle of a production meeting. He didn’t really know, so we caught up with his girlfriend who was not hurt but visibly shaken. I immediately felt bad for being so coarse. She said that two guys had said some things about the way she was dressed and suggested that she “come upstairs with them.” They were still in the store we were in front of.

Sometimes I forget that not everyone has lived in New York City, because New York girls are used to hearing this ten times before they even make it to work every day.

I sighed and asked if she was okay. I looked inside the store and saw two men who looked a lot like the kind of guys I worked with at the agency looking at cheese and realized I was being used. They wanted me along because I looked threatening. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think cat-calls are polite behaviour, but I also don’t think they’re a reason for me to beat someone up when I didn’t hear what was said firsthand and the cat-calls were aimed at someone who was not my girlfriend. If they were directed at my girlfriend, I would take care of it myself.

I walked back to our apartment for the rest of the meeting. I couldn’t believe I had wasted time on something I found to be so ridiculous. The meeting was almost over by the time I got back. Luckily I had been the most well prepared of the group so I knew what was going on, but… I still felt like valuable time had been stolen from me. The reason to have meetings in the first place instead of sending out emails, is so we can all bounce ideas off each other. Oh well. It was time to let that go for today.

We began shooting that afternoon. It was great – we went back to L’Annex Byblos to shoot on their patio [read: sand] as our host rolled calls, caught up with her assistant and drank champagne. This was the first time she was able to get the lay of the land herself, and everything became a lot more real. As real as it was, it’s a lot easier to do your job when you’re on a beach on the French Riviera.

That night, our host was attending a small dinner so we only sent one camera with her to appear unobtrusive. It’s funny; I don’t care if you’re shooting with your pocket sized party camera but as soon as you start to shoot video the feeling in the room changes. Sending one camera meant that the rest of us had the night off and we planned to take advantage of it.

Our PA, Production Coordinator and I decided to go out. Before we separated to get cleaned up, the PA asked me when she’d be getting her per diem. Apparently, she had been told by our Supervising Producer that she would be getting one. I reminded her that she should definitely take that up with him, but I would happily speak in her favor. Apparently our Supervising Producer had told her to take it up with me. Strange, especially when I thought of how many times our SP felt the need to remind me that he had more power than me in the hierarchy.

It’s true, generally a Supervising Producer is higher up on the chain than an Associate Producer – but this production was a strange situation. In the production company, the only person I answered to was the CEO/Executive Producer. We had multiple projects in various stages of development/production and I was the go-to guy for every aspect of every production. People had begun to refer to me as the Head of Production, even though that was not at all my title, but because those were clearly my duties. This dichotomy made things sticky on this particular production as I had more access and decision-making power than our SP did, but had a lesser title. Ultimately, I would spend a lot of time and energy leading without letting people realize I was telling and not asking. It’s a tough position to be put in, but I got over it because I didn’t go to the Cannes Film Festival to read the fucking comics and fight over crayons.

I told the PA I’d get in touch with our Exec Producer to see what we could do. She told me that she didn’t feel comfortable doing any more work until she got her per diem.

Ouch.

I suggested she continue to work in good faith while we figured this situation out. If I went to the EP with that sort of demand, she would give up all of her power – and mine. If I told the EP that, it would be out of my hands. I was protecting her, because she clearly didn’t understand the levity of the words she was saying. I called one of our Co-Producers to get more information, but had to leave a message on his voicemail. I told her she had a little more time to think about what she wanted to do. This managed to calm her down, and made me happier. I was pretty sure we’d find the money for a per diem for her and I definitely wanted to help her get it.

We went out for a drink to clear our heads. The bar we found was on a street that was blocked-off for the festival and this bar had filled the entire street with tables and chairs to “expand”. It was a huge party, filled with people from all over the world. Everyone was more than excited; the air was filled with electricity you could feel. As I began to chat with people, I found that most of us shared a passion for film and art and it’s capability to change the way we see ourselves. Once I hooked into that feeling, it stayed with me for the entire time I was in France. It was magical.

We moved further down the Croisette to a party that was being thrown by the creator of the popular screenwriting software, Final Draft. This was my first real Cannes party. It was also the first time I would see women dressed in those gowns. I say those gowns, because they are the gowns you only see at award shows in pictures and on television. It’s amazing. We grabbed glasses of champagne and sucked them down. We were about to grab second glasses when we realized none of us had eaten since noon, about ten hours earlier and made a bee-line to a waiter who was passing hors d’oeuvres. These were not ordinary appetizers, these were entire entrees miniaturized and placed on tiny slices of bread. Grilled lamb with rosemary, asparagus and caramelized onions? On a stick, thank you very much. I was about to down a fried risotto ball when I got pulled to the dance floor by some girl whom I later found out was working at the American Pavilion. I managed to escape when someone dropped a champagne flute on the floor, but it was too late. The food was no longer being passed. Oh well, back to the bar.

I met up with my group to walk the long walk back to our apartments. We were almost there when we followed the smell of food to a small kebab place. Thank. The. Lord. We chowed on a kebab and literally fell into the nightclub next door, much to the chagrin of all the people waiting in line to get in. We had been going strong for the last four hours, and we didn’t have to be anywhere until late the next afternoon so we might as well keep going. The DJ was spinning some French house music and it fit the mood perfectly. We danced. It was a crazy scene, people were doing drugs in the bathrooms of course, but they were also hooking up in the booths right next to the dance floor! As ridiculous as it all was it somehow fit the crazy energy that the festival was giving off – people were feeding off of it. It got to you.

I looked around and my group had left without me as I figured they would. The apartment building I was staying in was less than a block away and they had a much longer walk. Someone handed me a glass of champagne and I turned around to thank the person and it was the Producer I was sharing a bedroom with! It felt like we hadn’t seen each other in weeks, so much had happened since the meeting that day.

I finally made my way home later to find that everyone was still up in our apartment. I was relieved – I was so energized I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep immediately. As soon as I sat down, my EP asked me what the hell was going on with our PA demanding money and refusing to work until she received it.

Fuck!

It’s weird how situations like these can make you immediately sober. I was not aware that she told the supervising producer the same demand she told me and he told the EP. He wanted to fire her because he couldn’t have our production held hostage by a PA who was clearly not a team player. I also learned that she was making more than PAs usually do (almost by half) because she was not getting a per diem. I tried to figure out why the Supervising Producer, who was the person who hired her and ultimately decided her salary also told her she’d receive a per diem and didn’t tell any other producer this information. We talked for two hours and I did everything I could to change his mind. At the very least, we could use two more hands to help out with everything. I understood where he was coming from, but I also felt for the PA. She was only 22 and would be stuck in another country.

The sun rose and the EP made the call to fire the PA. He also called a manadatory production meeting to be held in an hour. We went to get some food – ironically I wasn’t hungry.

The meeting was a disaster and everyone in the production was understandably freaked out. Most had only gotten an hour or two of sleep and a couple of us had not gotten any. All of this was in addition to the jetlag we were all fighting. The crew’s biggest fear was that if someone was already getting fired, what would that possibly mean for them if/when they made a mistake? They had no reason to trust our EP or feel that he was looking out for them. It took a long, long time to get the crew back on track. I explained that from this point forward, we all had to trust each other – we were a team. They had to understand exactly how much trust we were already giving them every day and all the producers deserved that in return. Somehow, it worked. It’s funny, but saying things like that only work when you actually mean them. That was definitely not the best way to have a team bonding experience, but that was the one we had.

At this point it was almost 11AM on Friday morning and I got in bed and crashed until early that afternoon.

Go straight to Day FOUR

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all right reserved. That's right, yatches, this shit is mine!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : Day Two

2009-05-13T18:07:00.000-07:00

Wednesday May 11, 2005

I woke up as we were in the last 45 minutes of our flight and the woman next to me immediately told me that she had never seen anyone sleep on a flight like that – she stepped over me to go to the restroom several times and that didn’t even wake me up! I smiled sheepishly and napped for another 20 minutes.

Our connection was easy – which is astounding at Charles de Gaulle International in Paris. Many times at that airport, I’ve had to run from the farthest terminal past all the other terminals (including the TGV terminal, which is incomprehensibly located in between other airplane terminals) to the local terminal on the complete other side of the airport. With luggage and a mini baguette. It’s more than half a mile! But today, I had time to make some phone calls, catch up on email and even get my favorite cologne at duty free. It’s available in the States, but it is not the exact same formula.

The production arrived at the south of France in Nice. It had been years since I had been to Cannes, or the Riviera for that matter, but it felt like home and that feeling helped me relax somewhat. Truthfully, I was beginning to feel everything. Everything. All we had worked for [which I had convinced myself was far away in a place we would arrive at some point in the future] was here and now. We were in France. Even though we had been shooting a few events here and there, I felt nervous. I had done many shows as an actor and had produced a couple of small things on my own, but none of it had been in TV or film as a producer. Even though my EP knew me to be a more than capable employee, he was taking a big leap of faith by hiring me in that position. I had a lot to prove.

We took two vans the last 22 miles to Cannes and arrived at our respective apartments somewhere around 7PM. It may seem extravagant that we were all staying in private apartments, but there were four of us to a unit and it’s often cheaper than a hotel during the festival. If you want lodging in Cannes for the festival, you have to pay for the entire two-week festival period no matter how long you are actually staying. We ended up saving the production a lot of money by staying in those apartments. We also lost a bit of access, which I will explain later. I was just happy that each of the apartments we stayed in was located in different buildings a few blocks away from each other. The last thing I needed was people feeling like they could knock on my door simply because it was down the hall. This was not college, and I would need time away from some people. Everyone deserved that.

The apartment I was staying at was On the Croisette. The Croisette is the main avenue in Cannes and it runs along the beach, much like A1A on the Eastern coast of the States. Except without anything named “Shack.” Everything happens on the Croisette. Everything. The big glitzy hotels like the Carlton, the Martinez, the Majestic and the Noga Hilton are all on that street – and most of the filmmakers and stars are staying at them. [You’ll remember the Carlton from the classic Hitchkock movie To Catch a Thief, and it is so old it doesn’t even have Ritz in the title.] It is not a rare sight to be getting a drink at the bar at the Carlton and bump into someone like Penelope Cruz or Steven Soderbergh. Also, the Palais de Festivals, which houses all the ceremonies, premieres and major screenings, is on the Croisette, just a couple of blocks away.

The bedroom I was sharing faced the Croisette, which had more than its share of noise, but it also had the best views and at night we were able to hear the waves crashing below. I have never slept as well as I did when I was able to hear the crashing waves of the Mediterranean all night long. I would even hear them while I was dreaming.

We got settled and showered and went to dinner to have our first production meeting in France. It was just me, the two co-producers, the executive producer and the host of our show. I was in a bit of a fog, the kind of fog that only 9,000 miles of travel can bring on. We hashed out the next day’s events and chowed. We were dining at a restaurant on the beach called L’Annex Byblos. It was the outpost of a popular hotel in St. Tropez that had built a restaurant in Cannes during the festival and when I say it was on the beach, I don’t mean on the sand – I mean a fully functioning restaurant with hardwood flooring, carpeted areas, A/C and wi-fi was constructed in a tent – on the beach. I immediately understood the level of luxury I was being given access to. This was going to be like nothing I had ever experienced.

We walked back home and I took everything in for the first time; the smell of the sea air and the music coming from a live jazz band playing in the street. The Croisette was divided by a median that was large enough to have palm trees and other shrubs planted into it and the eastbound side was closed to vehicular traffic. It was nice, because we needed the space, there were that many pedestrians. There were huge movie posters everywhere. These posters were fifteen feet high and fifty feet long and they were everywhere. You couldn’t walk for more than ten feet without thinking about the film industry. It was oddly calming. It served as a great reminder of why we were all there. No one goes to the Cannes Film Festival because they want to avoid the entertainment industry. It also felt very exclusive – the rest of the world would have to watch it [and watch it, they would] on TV.

But I was there.

Go straight to day Three

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. That's right, yatches; this shit is MINE.]

Madeleine Stowe Laughs Last!!! [and finally, btw]

2009-05-13T12:25:00.000-07:00

Madeleine Stowe Laughs Last!

A few weeks ago, I wrote An Open Letter to Madeleine Stowe about her “situation” with the screenplay she wrote and wanted to star in. If you remember, no studio wanted to make the movie with her as the star, because she wasn’t bankable enough. It didn’t matter that Ms. Stowe was (and still is) quite the actress. She held onto the screenplay and never sold it, the role was worth that much to her. In my letter to her, I suggested so much time had passed that it was time for her to look at her options again. I thought maybe it was time to let go of her dream of starring in the movie she wrote – and it would be painful to do so. But I said that she was talented enough to make another one and if she sold the first and took a secondary role, that could make become bankable enough to star in her second.

Well, it seems she took my advice to heart. Not exactly, but better. See, the thing about advice is the way you make it your own. When you can see that a bit of advice is good, you still have to find a way for it to fit on you. And she did. Variety reports today that she just sold her script, and finally! Oscar winning actress Rachel Weisz will play the lead role. And Madeleine Stowe won’t be in it at all. She’s going to direct the motherfucker!

She deserves a standing ovation for this. She did not give up on her dream. I know a lot of people will point out that she won’t get to play her dream role, but I say: She get’s to be the sole person responsible for telling her dream story.

Way to go, Madeleine Stowe! I’m right proud of you.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved. that's right, yatches: this shit is mine!]

Festival de Cannes DIARY : The First Day

2009-05-12T17:30:00.000-07:00

Tuesday May 10, 2005

I woke up that morning ahead of my alarm. At this point in the production my mind would automatically turn on and start making lists of things that had to be accomplished that day. I had already packed, so I was able to relax. I did have a few last minute errands to run before my car was to pick me up at 2PM. I wanted to make sure to get some of favorite toiletries I knew would not be available in France. I wasn’t hungry but forced myself to have breakfast because I knew I would be taking a xanax to help me sleep on the plane. [I had not been sleeping well at all for the previous month due to the amount of stress I was putting on myself.] We were trying to secure locations at the festival and as an independent production that was proving to be… difficult. Getting onto a red carpet in Cannes is impossible without proper press accreditation. We were not press and as glamorous as it was to go and shoot at the Festival de Cannes, we were basically shooting an indie film. The previous days had involved my staying up until business hours began in France to get on the phone to beg for favors. I would sleep for a few hours and would wake up in time to catch the last couple of business hours of their day so I could spend my day dealing with whatever had changed. I had taken to going to the gym twice a day so I could at least get four hours of sleep when my doctor intervened and decided I needed more help than that.

Finally, my car arrived. I had splurged on getting a Mercedes instead of my usual Super Shuttle, because you only get to go to your first Cannes Film Festival once. It was a good choice - there is something about riding in plush leather seats behind blackout windows that helps you relax. At that point it didn't even feel like a luxury, it was necessary. I was able to think calmly about the two weeks ahead of me. As we drove, I took a last look at LA. It was good weather, as usual. And I wouldn't miss it at all.

My driver dropped me off at the international terminal at LAX. I went to the skycap to check in and he told me my flight was actually going out of the regular Delta terminal, two terminals away. I looked behind me for my car but the Mercedes was long gone. I would have to drag every piece of my luggage by hand to the Delta terminal. I should have seen that this was an omen for the next two weeks.

I finally got on the plane – luckily there was only one person with me in my three-person row. I asked her if she wanted the aisle seat because I planned to be awake for a few hours then sleep most of the way to Paris. She declined. I did some work, and even had two meetings with my producers and one with my crew. The funny thing is, we had absolutely nothing to talk about – we had been off for a few days, wouldn’t be shooting for two more and would have a real production meeting once we were all settled in France. The only reason we had those meetings while standing in the galley at the rear of the plane was because we were excited. We had no idea what the next two weeks would be like, but we could all feel this would be something special.

I settled down with a movie, took a xanax and offered to take the window seat again so the woman in my row could get up while I slept. Again, she declined.

Click here to read DAY TWO

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

That's right, yatches! This is mine!

Festival de Cannes

2009-05-11T23:34:00.000-07:00

The Cannes Film Festival is arguably the most important film festival in the world. We have all seen photos and video from the festival that is set on the Riviera in the south of France. I have been lucky enough to experience Cannes during the festival. In actuality, it is much more amazing than it can possibly be depicted. While amazing, what those depictions lack is what it feels like to be there.

In the next two weeks, I will publish my private diary from my time at the Festival de Cannes. It is uncensored and no holds barred, exactly what you'd expect from Soccerboy in LA.

Today we begin with a short background on why I was going to Cannes in the first place.

Cannes Diary Background:

I had been hired by an independent production company to be an associate producer on a documentary TV show. The show was about a woman who does product placement for feature films and also does the event planning for movie premieres. She had just been given a challenge by Bob Yari (who had just released Crash) that if she could successfully plan his premiere parties at the upcoming Tribeca and Cannes Film Festivals using a budget that would come completely from branding, he would give her a contract to do the product placement and event planning for the next twenty Bob Yari Films. We would document her journey from the time she began planning the events all the way through the trips to Tribeca and Cannes to see her succeed.

The title of Associate Producer (AP) is a pretty nebulous title whose duties depend on each production. I had an edge because I speak French. A lot of what I had to do were about getting the entire production to Cannes. Once we got there, I would be able to focus on helping our crew get the story we needed and put out any necessary fires…

Go straight to Day ONE

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Julia Has A Laugh

2009-05-03T22:58:00.000-07:00

This is video from the Lincoln Center Tribute to Tom Hanks - Not a roast at all. In the priceless video below, Julia Roberts speaks some choice words about Tom Hanks that we know are all too true.

Way to go Julia!

But serioudsly, Julia, you could stand to learn how to hold for a laugh. I'm just saying!

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An Open Letter to Madeleine Stowe

2009-04-17T17:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone on the planet is aware of how there are a ridiculously small amount of good roles for women in Hollywood. And we also know there’s far less for women over forty. I for one, think it’s a shame. But to be fair, it’s not like I’m writing Meryl Streep’s next Oscar winning role – I’m too busy writing for myself. Well, Madeleine Stowe decided to write her own, and good on her for doing that. Actually, she wrote it a while ago, but we’ll get back to that.

A few years ago, I spent some time at a very successful talent/literary agency. I won’t say which one, but I can say that it commonly goes by three initials, none of which are the letters U, W, P or T. While I was there, Stowe’s screenplay was making the rounds trying to get sold. Now, this was no ordinary screenplay –this screenplay was good. And by good, I mean great. So good, that not a single studio that passed on it. Are you following? The screenplay with an over 40 female protagonist was so good that every studio in town wanted it. The only problem? None of them wanted to do it with Stowe as the star, she wasn’t bankable enough. Ouch! So what did Ms. Stowe decide? She refused to sell to any studio who wouldn’t have her be the star.

Good for her!

Now it’s been several years and she still hasn’t sold that script. And let’s be honest, it’s not like she’s become any more bankable since that script was making the rounds. But that’s okay, I’ve got a plan for her.

Dear Madeleine Stowe,

Since you can clearly write a phenomenal script – write another one, girl! The only thing is that the second one has to be inarguably better than the first. You can do it, you already did it once. Take it from another writing person – good scripts aren’t an accident. Don’t worry about what people call beginner’s luck. Just sit down, lock in, and use the same energy you used to pound out the first one. Warning: it will not feel the same, but luckily this time you have even more to prove. So prove it!

After you write this new great screenplay for yourself to star in, sell the first one – without attaching yourself to star. I know, I know – it kinda hurts. You can play another character in the movie, for sure, but not the lead. Let the studios do what they feel they gotta do. Then, win the Original Screenplay Oscar™! This will be difficult in ways that have nothing to do with art,and you may end up feeling like a whore but again, you can do it. And once you have won the Oscar™, sell the second screenplay with you attached to star. And voila, you’re back!

Now wasn’t that simple? Always trust the Soccerboy.

[MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

State of the Industry

2009-04-13T08:59:00.001-07:00

We're all aware of what's going on financially around the world. I was forwarded an email that originated from a CAA agent that spells out an idea of exactly what is going on in Hollywood right now and what that means for his clients. This was the first time I had heard anyone manage to state it so succinctly. It is hard reading, in the best way. It's complete honesty is somehow uplifting, like a light at the end of the tunnel. Below is the transcript.

Dear Clients,

I wanted to take a moment and give you a number of important updates.

Before I begin, however, I wish to tell you all that I am so very proud of you all for your dogged determination during these most difficult times. Hollywood is being challenged on multiple fronts – labor uncertainty, paradigm shifting and the great recession.

I know a lot of you are getting antsy to get out more, and frankly many of you are in a tight financial pinch; as such, I wanted to describe to you all the current climate in LA and the factors influencing the
current environment.

1. SAG STALEMATE: Since the SAG contract expired on June 30, 2008, there have been few to no STUDIO feature films (this does not include companies such as Lionsgate and the Weinstein Company that are not in AMPTP and as such have completion agreements). Some analysts say there are up to 200 feature films on hold. Around September, we started to see a mass movement of film actors to TV projects. Many of my "name" actors have done one-day guest stars (this is very typical right now), and we are seeing a number of Guest Star level actors doing CO-STAR roles. Remember from November of 2007 to March of 2008, due to the Writers Strike, again there were no feature films shot. So for the film actor, there has only been 4 months of work in the last 17 months.

THE BOTTOM LINE: Due to the lack of studio feature film production, BOTH film and TV actors are now competing for a limited number of jobs in the episodic and pilot environments.

2. PILOT SEASON: During the Writer¹s Strike of 2007-2008, Studios adapted and used the void to eliminate pilot season as we know it. Gone are the days of hundreds of pilots. In fact, this year, there are only 67 pilots to have registered for production of which only about 35 have been greenlit for production.

http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118000479.html?categoryid=3284&cs=1&query=pilots+casting+2009

And this year, due again to a sagging economy, studios and networks believe that by committing named stars to their projects, they will receive more money from this year’s upfronts from ad agencies. They are banking on star power to leverage better buys at the all important UPFRONTS. So, stars and pop-stars like Richard Dreyfuss, Chevy Chase, Brittany Snow, Elle McPherson, Rebecca Romijn, Ashley Simpson, Scott Caan, Skeet Ulrich, and proven TV talents like Kelsey Grammar, Eric McCormick, John McGinley, Joel McHale, Jenna Elfman, Donald Faison, Maura Tierney, Peter Krauss, Craig T. Nelson, Dax Shepherd, etc. You do the math -- 37 pilots, top stars being sought.

BOTTOM LINE: The conflagration of the economy and a lack of roles being cast, means that this pilot season may be even more competitive than the concurrent regular TV market right now. So those of you who have gotten auditions for series regulars, feel great about that!

3. TV: While TV has been steady, again due to the conflagration of film and named actors doing guest starring roles, we have seen a horrible trickle down. Many Guest Stars are now doing Co-stars and Co-stars/Developmental Actors (those with less than 5 primetime credits) frankly are not getting seen much. One CD recently told me that she had over 25 women who would be considered working actors going for a co-star role.

BOTTOM LINE: Again, due to the abundance of name and working actors, many less-developed actors are not even being seen right now.

4. ECONOMIC IMPACT I THE EROSION OF QUOTES/RATES: There are really three major impacts to actors during this economic crunch. First, we are seeing the erosion of quotes. Due to the availability of so many talented actors, CDs and Producers are in the driver¹s seat in negotiations. When they say, "Well, we got someone else who will do it for less," they ain’t kidding. I have spoken to a number of my peers who have confirmed this erosion of pay for actors. In short, right now, quotes are eroding and for many, the minimum has become the maximum pay.

5. ECONOMIC IMPACT II THE CONCLUSION OF SAG STALEMATE: Many are hoping that with the end of this stalemate, Hollywood will get back to normal. I have to say that I am not one who necessarily believes this. First off, due to the economic conditions, most studios have lost their millions of dollars from hedge funds; and European, Asian and Middle Eastern money has dried up. Even Steven Spielberg has had to beg, borrow and steal to get his company financed. And it wasn’t anywhere near what he originally asked for. I believe that, even after the SAG stalemate is over, there is probably not enough money for 50 Studio Feature Films to be done right out of the gate.

BOTTOM LINE: While this will help us move towards normalcy, it will not be the cash cow some people think it will be. One side note is that I expect that more formulaic projects will be down out the gate as studios will be less likely to take significant risks since most of these projects will be financed by both the studio and their investors. In short, you will see more Iron Mans, animation and SAWs; they are
money in the bank when you factor in ratios, etc.

6. ECONOMIC IMPACT III OVERALL STATEMENT OF ENVIRONMENT: It is important that everyone follow the economic conditions closely. I know it is easy to be skeptical over the studios, networks, cablers, production houses, show runners, etc, losing money, but it is a cold-hard fact right now. These entities are truly in a difficult spot. If you have read much lately, there have been dramatic cutbacks at every studio and network, from firings to asking show runners to cut between 2%-7% of their budgets (not to mention the 25+% cutback shows like the Sarah Silverman were asked to swallow recently). Furthermore, these networks and studios are largely owned by conglomerates that have lost in the billions over the last 6 months. When I attended NATPE in January, all the talk was how to get "thinner." Everything is getting tight. Budgets, Marketing, Staffing, etc., and this will undoubtedly impact the actor. Also, the foreign sales market (where much of the TV and Film money is made) is being hit hard by the erosion of the US Dollar. So these entities are not able to recoup the costs they were
in better days by the one-time explosion of the foreign markets.

BOTTOM LINE: The economic conditions are forcing the industry to be as “thin” as possible.

7. COMMERCIALS INDUSTRY AND ECONOMIC IMPACTS: One analyst said last year, that 2008 was the worst commercial market since maybe 1974. I would not argue with this. Think about it: three of the top products/services for ad agencies are banks, cars and other financial services all of which were struck down in 2008/early 2009 by this recession. This was confirmed when news struck that even the Super Bowl did not sell out advertising this year. The good news is that the advertising industry tends to be one of the first ones to be negatively impacted by a recession, but one of the first to grow as the recession moves to an end as advertisers of products want to start accumulating market share before the turn of the economy. Another impact relates to the overall conditions of the TV/FILM/PILOT situation. Many strong actors have made enough money on TV/FILM, etc so that they have not had to do commercials in years. Due to the last few years and the lack of work, many top actors are now back in the commercial market; thus again, causing a logjam in casting.

BOTTOM LINE: The economic slowdown has caused a dramatic decrease in ad sales and the lack of work has caused more actors to re-enter the commercial market.

THE GOOD NEWS!!

Okay, so that is where we are today. You know me; I try to always call it straight as I see it. So, I am not going to sugar-coat this either. I anticipate that 2009 will be a tough year overall for actors (and
agencies). First off, the economy will not likely get straightened out until at least the 3rd to 4th quarter of this year and so all the factors above will remain in place through most, if not all, of 2009.

Secondly, until the labor situation gets straightened out, we will not be seeing dramatic amounts of film production and this seems to be dragging along as well. (As we enter the 8th month of the stalemate, it was announced today that SAG is thinking now about taking AMPTP to court for anti-trust violations.) But again, even if it was finalized, there is not enough investor money to see the film production level normalize and increase for most, if not all, of 2009. Also, since movies cost around $40 for two (tickets, popcorn, etc), this is not a recession-proof field anymore.

During our last significant recession, there were few choices for guilty pleasures to get away from the stress of our times so many people flocked to the theatres. NOT SO THESE DAYS, one can go to the web, TV, cable (not around in 1974, 1982, 1988 much), Video Games, Netflix, RedBox (movie for $1). So studios are probably not in any big rush to make films as people cannot afford this once-cheap diversion better to divert for a few bucks to all the many other sources of guilty pleasures.

OKAY, so that didn’t sound like good news.

The good news is that there are some paradigm shifts occurring that make 2010-2012 look like it might be one of the most prolific times in Hollywood history. Due to technological developments, there are more platforms being developed than ever. The internet is driving millions of new viewers each year.

Zillion is going to transform the way we view advertising. For those who don¹t know, it has recently been unveiled by the maker of Real Player and the “mouse.” It is a system that makes you watch ads before downloading movies (they already have 14,000 titles ready for download), TV, other forms of entertainment to your TV screen. However, the consumer can choose the products they want to see (let’s say you go retail clothing and watch a Macy’s ad and love the jacket; you can immediately click on the ad/jacket and go directly to their website, where you can buy it). Also, you earn points by watching the commercials that you can use towards purchases.

Furthermore, SONY and others are now selling TVs that wirelessly connect to your computer, so you can download TV/FILMS at anytime from your computer (websites like Hula, Netflix, etc) directly to
your TV. In short, technology is making more platforms which will require more content than ever. Also, Cablers are all embracing doing scripted shows, some have up to 5 shows this year -- again, more content is needed and thus MORE ACTORS!

BOTTOM LINE: More platforms = more content = more actors! So as long as SAG/AFTRA can protect your rates and jurisdictional issues, there will be more good compensated work than ever in Hollywood by 2010-2012.

Jake Wilson is The Real Deal

2009-03-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

I do not throw words like this around. I mean it, Jake Wilson is the real deal. Jake stars in a web sitcom called The Battery’s Down. The show is a hilarious look into the life of someone making it as an actor living in New York City. But get this: it’s a musical, complete with songs and big dance numbers – and it’s totally indie! Here’s the best part, not only is Wilson the star, but he created the show and writes it as well! Jake and I chatted about what it’s like making your own show for the internet. [something I’m a bit familiar with myself…]

Jake graduated from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor with a degree in Musical Theatre and says that it was the best program ever and the best decision of his life. He moved to NYC right after graduation, right after Michigan’s senior showcase [which is how he got his agent!]. He loves living in New York even with the financial difficulties that the city brings, but also knows he’d feel that way no matter where he would live doing what he does. Jake had been in NY for a few months auditioning and “getting bored from just working stupid part-time jobs” and wanted to do something to get his name out and be fulfilled creatively. He shot some ideas around with a few friends and eventually settled on the premise that is The Battery’s Down.

Jake’s title on the show is exactly what one would expect from a multi-hyphenate. Right now it stands as: Creator/Writer/Producer/Director/Cinematographer/sometimes Choreographer/Publicist/Production Manager/Actor/ etc…

JW:

I hate that actor always comes last. I am an actor above all else and that aspect of it always seems to get thrown by the wayside because of my 87 other responsibilities. I am praying for the day where I can just sit back and simply be a creator/writer/actor.

That is definitely the price of being a multi-hyphenate. At first, you take on more responsibility in the production because you’re just trying to open up more opportunities as a performer, and then people all of a sudden forget that you really are also an actor on the show too! But that is the life of being on an indie production. The Battery’s Down is totally Indie, there are no investors. . The main people Jake has helping him in that area are his friends, and costars on the show Andrew Keenan-Bolger, Adam Wachter, and Jessica Hershberg. Even though the show is indie, the production value is incredibly high. I mean, this is a musical!

JW:

Thank you!! We do what we can. There is no budget. The budget is "how can we do this for free?" "who can do us another favor?" "how am I going to pay my rent?" Everything is out of my pocket and I really cannot wait for the day where I get paid to do this!!! [Anyone reading? ;) We are totally open for blatant advertising and product placement] There is no crew, although of recently I do have a great assistant and some interns that help with the logistics of setting up locations etc. It is usually either my friend Michael Kadin Craig or Andrew Keenan-Bolger filming. They both help me with the editing as well, but everything is totally unpaid and done by ourselves via Final Cut. In a perfect world I would LOVE to have things actually set up and have loads of pre-production months in advance, but there is absolutely no time in the real world. With a few exceptions [mainly in the writing area] we begin from scratch on the 2nd of the month and plow forward until about 11pm on the 31st when I am burning the DVD and running late to the release party.

SOCCERBOY:
What made you decide to create a web sitcom?

JW:

It is absolutely the best way to expose yourself for the smallest amount of money. Plus I have total creative freedom. Where else can someone my age with no real credits say that? How could anyone pass that up? This show is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I feel that if we don't make the jump to network TV like we have been talking about, there will sadly probably only be one more season of the show. I physically can't do it to myself for that much longer and maintain a normal life, especially on zero budget. That being said, It is the happiest moment of the month when I can relax for one day and watch all of my friends laughing at the DVD showing at the release parties. In the end I am obviously having a blast. I am so lucky to have been able to work with such talented and giving actors and composers. I still can't believe that I can honestly say "Yea, I filmed a scene with Christine Ebersole for MY television show." Like...WHAT?!?

There you go. I told you, Jake Wilson is the real deal, yo! The second season of The Battery’s Down premieres on April First! No joke! Check out the trailer for the second season below, and watch the first season at www.thebatterysdown.com!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

The DUP : March 8, 2009

2009-03-10T17:04:00.000-07:00

Crikey! It’s already March? What happened? Daylight Savings, that’s what happened. Now I love having the eveningtimes lit by sunlight just as much as the next guy but damn, its still winter! Now we’re just going to use more heat in the AM until the seasons catch up with us. Thank you, 109th Congress, your stupidity is the gift that keeps on giving.

Without further ado, here’s this weekend’s box office estimates:

5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop : $4.2 mil. This movie is still bringing people into the theaters! And with a budget of $26 mil, its $133 mil cumulative gross is fantastic. This kind of money means there will definitely be a sequel.

4. Slumdog Millionaire : $6.9 mil. I wonder how far this movie is going to go while still in theaters. It’s been doing steady business since it opened back in the fall. And with a $125 mil total gross so far – it shows no sign of stopping. Next weekend will be the big test for this picture, seeing that it lost about 42% of last week’s total. With a $15 budget, it’s gotten it’s money back many times over. Though as I said last week, where did they spend $15 million dollars? It’s like when the Blair Witch Project came out and they told the world that they only made that movie for $50,000 and we were all wondering what the hell they spend fifty grand on?

3. Taken : $7.5 mil. This movie is a hit! It has a total gross of $118 million that makes me wonder what other movie has Liam Neeson been in that would come near making this much money? Wait - he was in Batman Begins. And Love Actually. And Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. And Schlindler’s List. Hmmm… When you read that list you wonder if Neeson feels like Taken should have earned more money by now.

2. Madea Goes to Jail : $8.8 mil. Oddly, this week’s gross for Madea is a sign that it’s beginning to slow down. Yes, it’s version of slowing down is landing at number two. With a total gross of $76 million, I’m sure no one over at Tyler Perry Studios is complaining.

1. Watchmen : $55.6 mil. As expected, Watchmen took first place. After the numbers started coming in for Friday night, many people were expecting this movie to do about $75 mil, but movies like this are interesting. It’s audience is similar to the audience for tween movies in that here is the largest amount of interest on opening day. All of the Comic-Con peeps could not wait until Saturday to go, so this movie’s biggest night would be Friday. It may seem like I’m splitting hairs, but let me assure you, that with a $20 million difference, the studio is doing the exact same thing. Another obstacle this picture had to overcome was its running time. At 2:40 before trailers, theatres simply can’t have as many showings as they could if it were only two hours. Now, the remedy would normally be to put more prints on more screens, but at 3600 screens they already have. I definitely have to congratulate Warner’s for leaving no stone unturned. Way to go!

And that’s the weekend!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

At 100!

2009-03-09T22:46:00.000-07:00

Break out the Strawberry Bubblicious and the Korbel Extra Dry because this is the 100th feature to appear on Soccerboy In LA!!! We’ve come a long way in eight short months. It all started early one Friday morning when I wrote to a friend living in Scotland saying what was going on in LA at that moment. It made me so happy to write it, I decided to make it the first feature of this magazine.

Living in LA and working in the entertainment industry is an amazing journey in and of itself but writing these features, and making Everybody’s Stupid has brought a new level of awareness of what’s going on around me. All of a sudden you realize that LA is a very cool city. Yes, swimming pools, movie stars, bars and trolley cars are around for sure but there’s so much more. I had no idea that the French Dip was invented in LA nor that Philippe’s is still open for business. Or that there’s a traveling taco truck selling Korean BBQ style tacos! [I have GOT to get there!] And our museums are phenomenal! And it’s all at your fingertips!

We just made it to the halfway point of season one of MD TOTAL’s flagship series, Everybody’s Stupid. Believe it or not, that show has been in the master plan since day one of this magazine. It’s getting some serious recognition, and even more love from people every day. It’s a joy to make, and its especially fulfilling to help people laugh during times like these.

I’m going to leave you with a picture to give you a little perspective on how far we’ve come in 100 features. It’s a shot of the first Everybody’s Stupid print ad, which ran at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I’ve watched myself on TV and on a movie screen but there simply aren’t words to describe what it felt like to see this print ad. We’ve come a long way.

This is just the beginning.

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The Roundup : 2.28.09

2009-03-01T18:46:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well. I bet you thought we were all done here at the Dup, but no. We just took a much-needed bit of time away. It’s been an interesting year at the box office so far, no? No one expected Paul Blart to be the hit it has been except you and me. We’re aware that right now, people are looking to movies to raise their spirits. I happen to believe that’s onbe of the reasons Slumdog Millionaire won the Best Picture Oscar this year. Times are tough - seriously tough – and what better way is there to escape the stress of your life for two hours than a movie?

Here's this weekend's box-office estimates:

5. He’s Just Not that Into You : $5.9 mil. I gotta give it up, this movie is still making money! It has to be the most successful (if not the only) movie who’s idea started from a single line of dialogue from a television show. If I remember correctly, this movie was made at a fraction of the cost of what all these actors salaries would normally command, so I wonder what exactly the number is for it to actually be a success. Between Aniston, Barrymore, Connelly, Johannson, the budget would normally have been $50 mil RIGHT THERE. I have to give it up to everyone involved, they managed to make a romantic comedy that appeals to the times. Word.

4. Taken : $9.9 mil. This movie is doing just fine. I also have to give it up to Luc Besson for his ability (and humility) to just be a writer on a feature. I think that is the most interesting aspect of their story.

3. Slumdog Millionaire : $12.2 mil. Now everybody has already heard of Slumdog by this weekend. Hell, even PCD just released a version of the Oscar winning song, “Jai Ho.” WHAT? Give it a listen, and you’ll be saying the same thing. Going into this weekend, Slumdog had already crossed the $100 million mark having been on about 1500 screens. With their Oscar in hand, the producers decided to expand to about 2950 screens and managed to triple the gross of their previous highest weekend. Way to go! This movie is great fun, and I definitely loved watching it, but I have to ask one question. If it cost $15 million to make, where did all the money go? Let’s get real, were they rolling cigars with $100 bills? Seriously.

2. Jonas Brothers: the 3D Concert Experience : $12.7 mil. The Jonas Brothers now have the second highest opening for a concert film EVER. Maybe it’s time for more people to take them seriously?

1. Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail : $16.5 mil. Madea actually opened last weekend, and scored the Lionsgate’s highest opening weekend in the company’s history, and holds it’s place for a second week. Why? Because Tyler Perry is making movies for a ridiculously under-serviced audience. AND, all his movies have one thing in common. His name is always the first two words in the title of every movie. That, my friends, is what we call branding. And it works!

Now that awards season is over (sorry Hulu awards, I gotta keep it real.) let’s all go to the movies!

And that’s the weekend!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Everyone is Stupid : Community Service

2009-02-12T20:00:00.000-08:00

Here we are, episode SIX is here! Can you believe that we’re at the halfway point of the first season of Everybody’s Stupid?! In the sixth episode, Soccerboy takes President Obama’s words to heart and spends some of his personal time doing a service for his community. During times like these, we would all be better off if everyone took some time to do some sort of service. A community outreach, if you will. And what better time then during the month of Love…?

SO! Sit back, relax, pop some popcorn, pour a drink and enjoy the latest episode of Everybody’s Stupid!

Bonus Points!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

Everyone Is Stupid : Episode FIVE

2009-01-29T20:00:00.000-08:00

Spray the Champagne! Episode FIVE of Everybody's Stupid has arrived! After the super-sized Holiday Spectacular, we took a brief hiatus to spend time with friends, family and ourselves. It was a much needed break, and we're already looking forward to the next one. Life is like that, ain't it?

As always, thanks for watching! So - sit back, relax, micro some popcorn [but for the love of all that's holy, if you're at the office: DON'T BURN IT!] pour yourself a Jarritos and enjoy EPISODE THREE of Everybody's Stupid!

Everything in Moderation...

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Checks and Balances

2009-01-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

We just got news today that SAG’s National Exec Director/Chief Negotiator, Doug Allen, has “stepped down” from his position. For those who don’t know, SAG is an acronym for the Screen Actors Guild – the union that represents actors in movies and television (including commercials). As an actor, I’ve been a member of unions since 1997, first with Actor’s Equity Association (the union for stage actors) then less than a year later I joined SAG. I only mention that to be fair and honest about whom I am in this debate.

The big debate lately is whether SAG should strike or not. As an actor, I agree with everything we’ve been asking for. There are so many new forms of media for which we are not being compensated fairly. And by new media I mean cable TV and home video. Well, that’s not exactly the focus of our efforts, but it is something we are still fighting for because actors, writers and directors have been getting screwed since cable and home video were still nascent. And now that the internet has been around for well over a decade we’re keen on awareness. Hell – Marlene Dietrich knew it before everybody else did. She put a clause in her contract to protect her payment for all media known and heretofore unknown, anywhere in the known universe. DAG. Now that’s what I’m talking about!

As a person with a brain, I also fully understand that this is not the time to strike. We all just barely survived the writer’s strike of 2007-2008, and this town cannot take another work stoppage. You see, when writers strike, producers can make the scripts that they’ve already purchased. But when actors strike, nobody works. Including catering, makeup, wardrobe, grips, cinematographers, gaffers, people who build sets, people who design sets, producers, writers and directors. EVERYONE. And most of these people are not getting rich to begin with – they’re struggling with how to keep their houses and pay all their bills as well.

When I realize that SAG was offered a similar contract to the one that writers and directors were offered [and took] a year ago – and that was during far better economic times – I have to put my foot down. No strike, not now. And if it comes down to the one person who was leading us in what I consider to be the wrong direction, then I’m okay with him being removed from that position. Hopefully he’ll find a place with a better fit because SAG is mostly not made up of movie stars, it’s made up of working actors.

He was not alone in his thinking - there were many boldfaced names who made it known that they supported the idea of a strike. Hell, even SAG president Alan Rosenberg was with him all the way. In fact he was quoted today as saying "This is the darkest day within my memory. It kills democracy at SAG."

WHAT? It kills democracy? Apparently Rosenberg has forgotten everything he learned in eighth grade Civics. This would be a good time to remind everyone that democracy in America is made up of three distinct branches: judicial, executive, and legislative. And this situation is an example of the judicial branch [the board members] taking steps to remove the executive branch [National Exec Director/Chief Negotiator] because it became clear he was no longer acting in everyone’s best interests. It’s tough to take, but it sounds exactly like democracy to me.

I’m an actor and even I know that.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

It’s ON!

2009-01-22T19:25:00.000-08:00

The past seven days have been a flurry of activity. It really was the best Black Weekend ever! Apparently, Black is the new black. But then again – black has always been the new black, now hasn’t it? The inauguration was easily the biggest event in the history of Washington D.C! I love how the president’s inaugural address immediately got down to business, but it also reminded me that he has been getting down to business since November Fourth! Now that Barack Obama is President Obama we can finally get to what’s really important.

THE OSCARS!

That’s right, Oscar nominations came out today, and boy are they interesting. A lot of it is exactly what we expected [Slumdog Millionaire] and some were unexpected [Benji Buttons getting 13 nominations! Huzzah!] while others were completely omitted. The best thing about this year in movies is there were so many good movies that the omissions seem… tough to take.

What’s great about the Golden Globes is that they give a lot of room for different types of movies and performances. The fact that performances are separated into comedy/musical and dramatic areas is extremely kind. And that difference is what I notice the most on the day that the Oscar nominations are announced.

For example, the phenomenal Kate Winslet won two Golden Globes: supporting actress for The Reader, and Lead Actress for Revolutionary Road. Yet she was only nominated for one Oscar, for leading actress. For The Reader. Until this morning, Ms. Winslet was the front-runner for the leading actress Oscar for Revolutionary Road. Now that her nomination is for what she won a Globe in the supporting category – all bets are off. As much as I love, love, love Kate Winslet, I much prefer not having a clear idea in my mind of who will ultimately win the award. Things just got fun! Meryl Streep is never to be ignored in any category, even though she hasn’t won in a long time. Anne Hathaway has been talked about since the day Rachel Getting Married opened in theaters back in the fall. Angelina Jolie gives an AMAZING and subtle performance in Changeling. That movie did not do as well as it should have. I think people thought it was going to be a kidnap thriller, and it simply wasn’t - it was much better that that. Ms. Jolie’s work in that movie is impeccable. And in a year where she also appeared in Wanted, it just goes to show you what she can do. I’ll admit the girl could stand to eat a few more pork chops, but her acting chops are out of this world. Yeah, I said it!

Robert Downey, Jr. gets a nod for Tropic Thunder! That performance is at once crazy and classic. Five months later, my mouth is still agape.

No Cate Blanchett this year. Huh?

Mr. Heath Ledger scored the nomination he deserves! Christopher Nolan said it best when he accepted Ledger’s posthumous Golden Globe: We can all see the giant hole left in the future of cinema. I’m not going to lie to you - Brokeback was the first thing I saw him in that mattered to me. But I had no idea of what he was capable of until The Dark Knight.

No Clint Eastwood. At all?

I have to say that I was surprised about Colin Farrell winning the Globe for In Bruges only because that movie did not get the attention it deserved. That movie is good, it’s the little movie that could. Rent it, and you’ll understand. I have to admit, if it won the Oscar for original screenplay, I wouldn’t complain…

Revolutionary Road was left to Art Direction and costume design. What?

This is exactly what I mean – the omissions are glaring, but at the end of the day there are no more than five nominees in each category. It’s a good list, and should make for an interesting ceremony. Good luck to Hugh Jackman, a lot rests on his shoulders!

Congratulations to all the nominees!!! Have some champagne – you all deserve it. But don’t get too relaxed, now the real work begins.

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Now Let's Get to Work.

2009-01-20T13:16:00.000-08:00

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as delivered.

OBAMA: My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

Cruise Season!

2009-01-10T21:27:00.000-08:00

As you were prowling what’s left of department stores’ after-holiday sales, you must have noticed that bikinis and board shorts were starting to appear on the racks nestled between the gloves and acrylic sweaters. Why are they there, you ask – surely this is not the beginning of summer! And you would be correct, in the coming weeks stores such as Barney’s, Bendel’s, Bloomingdale’s, Nordstrom and (gasp!) Macy’s will rollout all that’s adorable for spring, but in the gap between Holiday and Spring seasons is an intermittent one: Cruise Season. And let me tell you, it’s easily my favorite. Cruise Season is the five weeks after New Year’s when it’s fashionable to jet off to a resort. If it’s 5 degrees in NYC, then what’s better than a week in the Maldives? Or the Seychelles! Frégate Island, anyone? [Don’t spread that secret around, or it’ll get ruined.]

I find it rather fantastic that a certain class of designers makes a miniature collection of clothing specifically for this mini-season. An entire line of clothes just for vacation! What’s most fascinating is that clothes designed for Cruise Season simply do not work for summer. How is that even possible, they’re hot weather clothes??? The way these collections are designed is specific to the feel of being away during the winter! The colors, the patterns, but most of all it’s about the magic of being away after the holidays have already passed. That, my friends, is honest luxury. Some people go skiing at this time of year; some have a hankering for the beach, others need both. Guess which group I belong to?

For most, this is seemingly a glimpse into a completely different way of living. But that is exactly what makes Cruise Season so great - this is something full-grown adults can aspire to. Even if you’re just regarding advertisements in magazines depicting glossy and fabulous versions of life, that is far more important than mere daydreams. These aspirations, thoughts and desires have the ability to change something in you. Thoughts can spark more creative ways of thinking that can help you achieve goals you previously thought unattainable. That’s what thought can do - it doesn’t have to be a silly waste of time. And let’s be honest, in these troubled economic times, how else are we supposed to pull ourselves up from our bootstraps without more creativity? So go to Frégate Island, even if it’s only in your dreams! [Seriously, don’t tell everybody about our place – can’t we keep it special?] Just pay attention to the way these thoughts make you feel, who knows where that may take you...

Happy New Year. Get yours!

[© MMIX MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

The DUP : Year End Edition

2008-12-31T17:23:00.000-08:00

Here’s 2008’s twelve highest grossing films:

12. Mamma Mia : $143,762,955. Many, many, many people had no idea that a movie musical with a story based around ABBA songs would be this successful. But for me the story goes a little farther back. I first heard of the show when it chose to tour the States before it came to Broadway. And it was selling out all across the country! That had never happened before – but it worked. It has been a huge hit for Broadway, and now is a hit movie. Hell, it’s the highest grossing film ever to be released in the United Kingdom! It even beats Titanic there! I always say bet on Meryl Streep, she knows what she’s doing. More importantly, [and why this movie works at all] is Meryl. Yes she's the preemininent actor of her generation - we know that. But what really sets her apart from her peers is that she never gives the wrong performance for the movie she's in. Her performance in this movie is different than one she would give in a heavy drama [have you seen "Doubt?"], yet it is still a perfect example of world-class acting. And that is why we love Meryl.

11. Sex and the City : $152,647,258. We all knew it would not fail – even if only the die-hard female fans of the show showed up at the theater. But we never knew it would do this well, and it really does deserve it. This movie was brave enough to tell a real story. Who cares if it took 2.5 hours, not one second was wasted time. It deftly handled a real relationship story and stayed true to the characters – even staying true to their growth since the series ended. Smart and brave – all involved should feel proud to have done such a swell job.

10. Horton Hear a Who : $154,529,439. This one got away from me, but it tells you that even the bitty kids movie market is underserved. Most kids/family movies are meant to entertain the 9-13 age group and everyone younger is left behind. Make a movie for six year olds and you can have box-office gold! I will see animated features meant for tweens - but I don’t have kids, so I just can’t bring myself to see stuff for the itty bitty tykes.

9. Quantum of Solace : $164,302,659. The highest Bond opening ever. ‘Nuff Said.

8. Twilight : $169,925,169. Call me stupid – but I had not heard of this until three weeks before the movie came out and it was suddenly the only thing people were talking about. I am also not a teenage girl, so… It’s undeniably doing well, and secured a sequel before the end of its opening weekend! They also fired the director, Catherine Hardwicke and will be going with a new director for the next feature. I guess it’s time to put in a call to Chris Weitz and beg for a role in the next one. Too tacky...? Not tacky enough...?

7. Madagasgar 2 : $175,433,314. Well. What’s there to say? A bad sequel to a mediocre movie is the seventh highest grossing movie of the year? It’s not the first time it’s happened. I haven’t seen it, but I can still judge it.

6. Kung Fu Panda : $215,434,591. This did not get the kind of reviews that would lead people to think that it would do this well. But people love, love, love this movie so there you go...

5. WALL•E : $223,783,432. Now this I understand! I went and saw this movie on the first Saturday morning that it was open at CityWalk out in the Valley. There weren’t many empty seats and the house was full of kids. What surprised me the most was the way this movie kept their attention the whole time even though it’s 75% silent! Well done, Pixar. Well done.

4. Hancock : $227,946,274. Okay. I guess.

3. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull : $317,023,851. This movie was very entertaining - and just what I needed on a super hot Saturday afternoon. I think many people disliked this movie because they needed it to be more than this genre actually is. We’re not 12 anymore, so the genre is not going to feel transcendent in the same way it does for the little’uns. And it shouldn’t – but it sure as hell was fun.

2. Iron Man : $318,313,199. Call me cynical – but haven’t we all known that Robert Downey, Jr. is an amazingly gifted actor for like, 20 years? I certainly did. And if critics are saying that it’s the first time they knew that – then they’re giving everyone a reason not to trust them. Downey definitely deserves to be in a certified hit – and he had two of those within twelve weeks of each other this year! [He was the single best part of Tropic Thunder, if you ask me.] Way to go, RDJ!

1. The Dark Knight : $530,917,814. It’s no secret how I feel about this movie. This picture was in the second ever edition of The Round Up and was our ninth feature. This is the best comic book adaptation ever, easily stealing that title from Spider Man 2. Every single actor puts up some great work in this picture and Heath Ledger just kills it. He went from being the sentimental favorite for the Supporting Actor Oscar to the plain old favorite. He would deserve it – this performance in any other movie would win him two Oscars! As an actor, I sat in the theater and actually cried about what we will never be able to see from him. In this movie he became a great actor - posthumously.

So those were the top twelve movies of 2008! It was a good year for movies! This list, as you can tell, is not the decider for quality this year – many great pictures did not make the list, but will be around at Netflix for sure and maybe even your local video store. So check them out! And keep going to movies – it may be the last form of cheap entertainment! Happy New Year from everyone at MD TOTAL! Stay safe, and watch out for the amateurs!

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Everyone Is Stupid : Holiday Spectacular!

2008-12-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

Hello All from a cold and snowy Southern California! Here in Hollywood, it's about 44 degrees and there's snow 20 miles from here! Basically, if you get higher than 2000 feet above sea level, you're about a foot deep in snow. SNOW! Luckily - there's the fourth episode of Everybody's Stupid to keep you warm while you sip your cocoa or your adult eggnog! And it's a super-sized version, nearly twice as long as usual! We'd also like to give a special thanks to the folks at the youtube for finally getting a widescreen video player! Now that's progress!

Everyone here at MD TOTAL is extremely proud to present the Everybody's Stupid Holiday Spectacular! So sit back relax,and enjoy - there's a payoff to those who stay through the credits!

Happy Holidays!

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Everyone Is Stupid : Episode Three

2008-12-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

Open the champagne, Episode Three of Everybody's Stupid is here! They said we couldn't do it! They tried to to get us to stop! BUT WE DON"T STOP! Uh-Oh, uh-oh WE DON"T STOP!

I want to say thank you for the phenomenal response to the series, it really does mean a lot. I've gotten many emails, phone calls and messages that mean more to me than you'll ever know. The positive energy is... UNBELIEVABLE. There have been haters too, but that's okay - we don't let it get us down, and they definitely won't make us stop. It just means we're doing our job on the series!

And as always, thanks for watching! So - sit back, relax, micro some popcorn [but for the love of all that's holy, if you're at the office: DON'T BURN IT!] pour yourself a beverage and enjoy EPISODE THREE of Everybody's Stupid!

Haters Are Jealous.

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

The DUP : December 4, 2008

2008-12-04T19:12:00.000-08:00

Here’s last weekend’s box-office totals:

1.` Four Christmases $31.1 million
2. Bolt $26.6 million
3. Twilight $26.3 million
4. Quantum of Solace $18.8 million
5 Australia $14.8 million

The Holiday season has officially begun! I figured that Four Christmases would win the weekend, but I will admit to being happily surprised that it did as well as it did! It did not get great reviews, nor was it tracking that well. But that goes to show you what can happen when you put a female star who women adore and a male star that men find to be hilarious in a holiday picture together that opens on a holiday weekend.

Many people will say that Australia did not do as well as some may have expected, but I say hold on. This picture will be around through the holidays and will quietly rack up money each week. And to be fair it did better than the opening weekend for Moulin Rouge! In fact, it’s Baz Luhrmann’s highest opening of his career! I say raise a glass to quality movies! They just don’t make them like this anymore. Luckily, some directors still understand how great the form can be. Not only should Fox be happy with this weekend’s grosses, they should be rejoicing that the movie about the magical little boy moved it’s release date from now until June!

One final thought - with the current economic realities people are turning to movies (thank all that’s holy!) as affordable entertainment. And you know what? That’s the whole point of the storytelling arts – to give people a break from the drama of their own lives and have them laugh, or cry or laugh and cry as a release. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – that is exactly the reason that I do what I do.

And that’s the weekend! This is our 90th feature, btw. Who would have thought? It just shows what you can do...

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

It's Turkey Lurkey Time!

2008-11-26T06:57:00.000-08:00

It’s officially that time of year again! This year Thanksgiving is as late in the calendar as it can possibly be yet it still seems to have snuck up on me. As I began my vacation yesterday, I still didn’t feel it, even though I’m about to drive 400 miles northward. Maybe it's because the weather has not begun to really feel like fall? I don't know. But something happened on the way home between the happy hour margaritas and Trader Joe’s – it began to rain. All of a sudden it felt like Holiday. Even the red cups at Starbucks didn’t seem annoying. Having grown up on the east coast, I have had many a gray and/or wet Turkey Day. A few of them even had snow. I know I won’t get snow here in California, even when I’m in San Francisco – but I am thankful to hear some thunder, see some lightning and get wet like the old days. It makes me feel like a little kid.

To start off the Holiday season properly I’m embedding a video from the 1968 Tony Awards from the musical Promises Promises. It takes place at an office holiday party and hilarity ensues. It features fantastic choreography by the amazing Michael Bennett. Nothing else in the world is as amazing and ridiculous at the same time. It’s the way I start off the Holidays! Enjoy it with a Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha – you won’t be disappointed. [watch for the signature head popping – only try it at home after a real warmup.]

UPDATE : Everybody's Stupid is off this week for the holiday. Wpisode three will premiere next Thursday, December Fourth.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving from everyone at Soccerboy in LA and MD TOTAL! Though these times may be tough, there is still a lot to be thankful for.

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved]

The Round Up : November 23, 2008

2008-11-23T10:39:00.000-08:00

Here’s this weekend’s Box-Office Estimates:

1. Twilight $70.6 million
2. Quantum of Solace $27.4 million
3. Bolt $27.0 million
4. Madagascar 2 $16 million
5. Role models $7.2 million

As everyone imagined, Twilight ruled the box office this weekend doing so well it’s already made back it’s budget. Twice. Now that’s a business model! It also shows the weird phenomenon of genre movies and their box-office totals. Late Friday night when we knew what the movie was doing, traditional box-office math would have put this movie in the $90 million plus range for the weekend. But the audience for a movie like Twilight is interested in seeing it on the first day, which changes things. Not that anyone over at Summit Entertainment is complaining. Twilight’s first weekend gross is already double the total gross of their next highest grossing movie. Way to go!

Not to be outdone, Quantum of Solace held it’s own in it’s second weekend of release. Yes, it’s gross fell almost 60% from the previous weekend, but damn - when you make $70 million in three days there’s nowhere to go but down. Bolt also held it’s own against the hugely popular Madagascar 2. This movie was a smart move for Miley Cyrus – she gets to be in a hit movie and she can give her image a break.

Role Models is still hanging in there on the strength of its two stars, who are out doing everything they can to stay visible. You might be able to get Paul Rudd to give a speech at your son’s Bar Mitzvah right now and Seann William Scott would perform a dance number at the party – just keep the kids away from the bar. Laugh all you want, but press like that would get people into the theaters.

This would be a good time to mention Fireproof, the Christian movie starring Kirk Cameron. Now this movie was produced by Kirk’s church group. Really. They’ve done a few movies before that were in tune with his spiritual beliefs and the group distributed the pictures themselves. They had a good model – make a movie for cheap, know your target audience and you’ll make your money back. This time, they paid for the production and used Samuel Goldwyn for distribution. It cost them $500,000 and they’ve made almost $32 million so far! Best yet, this is Samuel Goldwyn’s highest grossing picture ever – even beating the Care Bears Movie! Now that’s a business model!

And that’s the weekend!

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

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Round Up Weekend!

2008-11-21T17:28:00.001-08:00

As you could tell, I’ve been out of town for a few days, and the weirdest part was that I was away from the internet. I actually had to get my news from the USA Today! Yikes! Though I will admit that it sure has some pretty pictures…

So, I am doing a miniature version of the Dup from last weekend to keep from doing a double edition. I will say one thing – Twilight’s receipts are already looking pretty good and it’s still dinnertime on the East Coast.

And here’s LAST weekend’s box office totals:

1. Quantum of Solace $67.5 million
2. Madagascar 2 $35 million
3. Role Models $11.1 million
4. HSM III $5.7 million
5. Changeling $4.3 million

We all knew that Quantum would blow everything out of the water, especially with the way it’s been tearing up Europe. I do have to congratulate Madagascar 2 for bringing in $35 mil of business on its second weekend! It’s nice to see the top two movies’ combined receipts break $100 million. HSM III is still hanging in there, but is admittedly not moving towards the $100 million mark as fast as people expected. I think it’ll make it, barely. Not that it’s hurting for profits AT ALL – even with inflated salaries, this picture was deceptively inexpensive to make.

Though I was forced to read USA Today while I was out of town, I did get a chance to see Changeling. In my opinion, it is nothing short of amazing. Angelina Jolie is probably Meryl Streep’s biggest competition for the Oscar. You heard it here. I loved this movie immediately and thought about it for the few days after I saw it. The more I thought about it, the more I was blown away. Movies like this make me excited to make movies!

And that was the weekend!

[© MMVIII MD TOTAL]

This Crazy City

2008-11-16T07:00:00.000-08:00

Everyone is Stupid

2008-11-13T20:00:00.000-08:00

Irreverence is back by popular demand! The first episode of Everybody's Stupid was such a hit that we could hardly deny you any more! We've decided that we'll be premiering a new episode just about every two weeks for the next twenty weeks! That's a lot of irreverence!

Anyway, pour yourself a drink, microwave some popcorn (just don't burn it if you're in the office) and rejoice because Episode Two of Everybody's Stupid is here!

Gotta Dance!

[© 2008 MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

Bachelor’s Paradise : After the Club

2008-11-12T19:00:00.000-08:00

You know when you’ve had a real night out, the kind that includes going to da club? You know those nights: Let have dinner together! Then as you leave the restaurant, your group stops into a bar for a drink. Drinks lead to dancing, which leads to someone suggesting that you go dancing for real at the club around the corner. Did you know tonight was 80s night? You get there, have a couple of the $1 jello shots, and the next thing you know you’re sweaty as hell dancing in a cage with some go-go dancer who’s dressed as an indeterminable jungle animal. Then you get back home and are hungry as hell because the last thing you ate was that salad at dinner seven hours ago, and you just got some serious exercise on the dancefloor. This sandwich is perfect for a late night snack. It is satisfying, and light enough that it won’t cause you any problems if you pass out on the couch as soon as you finish it. It pairs perfectly with a decaf earl grey tea or the final beer of the night. Put on a DVD and by the time you get past the trailers and to the main menu, this tasty little sando will be done! It also works just as well if you brought someone home with you from the club are both hungry after some exercise of your own…

What? I’m just keeping it real!

Grilled Cheese with Strawberries

• 2 slices of whole wheat bread [I use Milton’s Whole Wheat]
• two cold strawberries, sliced thick
• a good white cheddar [I happen to prefer English White Cheddars]
• a pat of butter
• one cold beer

Heat a pan on top of the stove on low. On a slice of bread make a layer of grated white cheddar cheese. On top of that, make a layer of strawberries then another layer of white cheddar. Top with second slice of bread.

Put the pat of butter in the pan and let melt. As soon as it’s melted put sandwich in the pan, being careful to keep it all together. Cook on low until crispy, then flip with a spatula and repeat. As soon as cheese is melted [sando should be pretty golden brown and crispy] take off heat and cool on a paper towel. A wire rack would be best. HINT: let this sandwich cool considerably, it will be extremely hot. Trust me on this, the juice from the berries mixes with the cheese, and somehow becomes the hottest part of the sandwich.

I know that this may sound like a crazy combination, and truthfully it is. But there is something about the buttery crispiness of wheat bread that balances with the sharpness of the white cheddar and the sweetness of the strawberries. Late at night when you’re thinking of making a run for the border, try this instead, your stomach will be much happier with this clean, healthy choice.

The DUP : November 9, 2008

2008-11-09T11:00:00.000-08:00

Here are this weekend’s box-office estimates:

1. Madasgascar 2 $63.5 million
2. Role Models $19.3 million
3. HSM 3: Senior Year $9.3 million
4. Changeling $7.3 million
5. Zack and Miri $6.5 million

Well, the big surprise of the weekend turned out not to be Madagascar coming in at number one with $63 million, but Role Models coming in with $19 million! It’s an understatement to say that that this surpassed everyone’s expectations – even Universal expected that picture to come in somewhere between $10 and $12 million. Well done, boys! I always thought that Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott would make a great team, they’re both such specific characters actors and they both have impeccable timing. This is well deserved. It also deserves to be said that Madagascar 2 has the highest grossing opening weekend for an animated movie this year, beating out Wall•E and Kung Fu Panda. That is a surprise to me.

High School Musical Three: Senior Year is still hanging on in the top three. Kids are seeing this movie over and over again, to no one’s surprise. Changeling’s gross was down about 5% from the previous weekend even though it added five more screens. Zack and Miri hung on at number five, bringing their total gross close to $21 million.

Finally, Soul Men, which stars Samuel L. Jackson and a posthumous Bernie Mac came in at number six with $5.6 million. This “African-American Comedy” [as Daily Variety called it. How much progress have we actually made during this historic week, I ask] pulled in less than Dimension/MGM were expecting for some reason. I only started to see print ads for this picture a couple of weeks ago, and it felt like they threw this onto the marketplace.

I will leave you with one thing I will admit to loving in the Madagascar 2 trailer. The male Rhino is flirting with the female Rhinos and singing a song about it. You'll have to imagine the sparse pop influenced hip-hop beat yourself. The Lyrics:

Male Rhino: “I like ‘em BIG. I like ‘em JUNKY!”
Female Rhino: “Is that your friend, or is that your butt?”

And that’s the weekend!

[© 2008 MD TOTAL all rights reserved.]

James Mormile: Interscope Records A&R

2008-11-05T18:08:00.000-08:00

You know you’re in an A&R office at a major record label when there’s not even a desk in the room. Mormile’s office is surprisingly relaxing to be in; there is no desk, there are leather couches, and his computer sits on his coffee table. Then there’s the killer audio system that features JBL Studio Monitor 4412s! There’s also the 50 Cent platinum record that Fitty signed “James, tell the DJ to blow me up or I’ll kill you!” Even I gotta admit, that’s pretty rad.

James Mormile works in A&R at Interscope Records here in Los Angeles. He grew up in South Orange, New Jersey and graduated from Seton Hall University. At Seton Hall, he was a radio DJ back when DJ’s had more control over what they played. He then interned at Universal Music Group [UMG] NY in video promo, which means he took music videos every Monday morning from 57th and Broadway and ran them down to MTV at 42nd and Broadway to make sure they got there by 10AM. In the summer it was so awful he’d have to bring a change of clothes with him to work! He was the person making sure videos were getting played and he’s been with UMG ever since, almost ten years!

I asked James what an A&R person does:

To an artist on a label, I’m the record label. Aside from signing talent, which is a major duty, I’m the liason between the artist and the company. Anything they have to do with the label goes through me. I’m the only person my artists really need to know. There are so many different departments, with hundreds of employees. So for an artist, that’s not their job. It’s their job go make records and go play gigs and do that the best that they can. I make sure that everything happens on time, that everyone gets paid. And it’s my job to champion the project through development. These are my passion projects, so I make sure that the higher ups in the building knows what’s going on - that Jimmy Iovine knows who this new artist is. It’s my job to make it important to him. After artists have made a few records, they’ll get to know a few more people at the label, they’ll know who their marketing director is, the head of sales. But at the beginning, it can be confusing.

James signs his own projects, but because Interscope has an abundance of projects he also gets projects assigned. Most of his are projects that he has found and has shepherded from the very beginning. He doesn’t have to go to clubs all the time anymore, and he doesn’t get that many demos in the mail. Three years ago he would have had a stack of demos, but now he gets emails from artists asking to look at their myspace page. They’ll have four or five songs up, maybe a video from a gig and a bunch of photos. And with comments, you can see what people are reacting to. It’s more interactive than only getting a piece of paper. Plus, it makes things much more informal when he can just email an artist back.

James is still excited about making career artists, but sees a real problem because there’s no place to go buy CDs anymore. I definitely agree with this, I miss Tower Records. No one gets excited to go to Best Buy to buy music. You go to Best Buy to buy a washing machine and you happen to see a 50 Cent CD. And that does not excite James in the least. He feels that iTunes is great, and also feels that it is not the end-all. People cherry pick songs off the album, but most don’t comprehend the amount of work and effort that goes into making an album.

Jimmy Iovine wakes up every day thinking about distribution - how are they going to change distribution? Because right now, creating and printing CDs is dying and iTunes is creating a singles market where they don’t make enough money to keep going in the way their artists deserve. It’s difficult to break an act, to make something big enough that millions and millions of people will want to buy it. Record companies serve a purpose.

To get to that arena level, t just takes time cultivating your audience and to keep giving them something new and giving them a reason to come back. There’s nothing like seeing all that energy in an arena, people really care. Everyone should go to a U2 show at some point in their life and understand that’s what music should do to people and that it’s a sort of a religious experience. There’s nothing more poignant than seeing someone who can command and audience like that. That was the point of their Elevation tour, that all you needed was U2, a stage, some lights, and a couple of video screens so the folks in the back can see too. Just them and an audience.

For a band, in the old sense of being a band, when you want to live on a major label a lot of the groundwork has to be laid by the band already. Like if they’re from Tulsa, Oklahoma; before you get to Interscope you have to be the biggest band in Tulsa. There has to be no question, everyone in Tulsa has to be jumping up and down about your band. If we go to Tulsa to see you play, there better be 1000 people there - there'd better be a line around the block. And if not, there’s nothing wrong with that, you’re just not ready for what it is that Interscope does. I don’t have the time or the staff to make sure that you can play your guitar or make sure your drummer can play in time. A lot of artists have hit records and they’re not ready. You can’t put them out on the road because it’s just that hard. Wherever you’re from, whatever city or state that is, you need to be the Rockstar of your hometown so Interscope can go there and be excited. Don’t just come to LA immediately because you’re gonna play the Roxy and four people are going to show up and two are gonna be your parents. A band needs to be able to get on a local tour. If you’re from New York you need to get on a tour that takes you to NY, NJ, Connecticut, Philly, you know, go up and down the Northeast and have people show up. If you can do that and have people show up then you’ve now taken a step towards being ready for what Interscope can do for you. Otherwise, there’s no real benefit to being here if you don’t already have a fan base.

James is someone who clearly loves his job, and is very excited about music. Which is good because he travels all the time. If one of his projects are recording a record, he spends as little time in the office as possible, he likes to be as hands on as his artist wants him to be. Some artists feel like the label guy is breathing down their neck and some are excited that he’s interested.

You know the kind of people who don’t want you there and if they don’t want you there, it’s not because they don’t like you it’s because they want to work. They don’t want to feel like I'm there to keep them in check.

James is there for support. He might have an idea every once in a while, but he’s not a producer or musician – he’s not someone who toils in what goes on. Most of his day consists of marketing meetings, meeting with artists, producers and managers. He likes to be with his artists doing what they’re doing, whether they’re in the studio or if they’re on promo. Whatever would make them feel excited that the label is there, that the label is excited about them, that’s his job to help them feel that love. So if they go do Good Morning America, he goes for the artist but also to meet the music show’s music supervisor to ask if there’s anything he can do for them and let that person know that he’s this artist’s guy.

He also spends a lot of his day walking the building. He goes to his marketing guy, or the new media people. He wants to know what they're doing for his band. At the end of the day the project is his, out of all the people in the company his name is on it somewhere. Making sure his projects' records sell ultimately comes down to him.

And that’s a good thing, no? Many people pretend that they don’t want to sell records. But if that were true, then they wouldn’t even try to sell their records! If that were true, they really could just write in a journal and play their music in their garage and they would be satisfied. Besides, how else would we ever be able to go see a concert with 40,000 other fans and have that experience without a label laying the groundwork for that possibility?!

I will leave you with his words:

I can only speak for myself, I think I'm someone who is excited about what I do. My artists are my friends and I have to believe in all of them. I want to see every one of them succeed, and not just for the money. I love to be able to put my name on a great body of work and know that I helped make it great. We are all working towards the same goal, we are building this thing together.

Never. Give. Up.

2008-11-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

I promised myself that Soccerboy in LA would not be about politics, and let me tell you that in 2008 that has been difficult. Today, I am breaking that promise because it feels irresponsible not to.

Tomorrow in California, we get to vote for or against a ban on gay marriage. Since gay couples have the right to marry in California, this proposition is not about gay marriage as much as it is about constitutional rights and discrimination. It doesn’t matter what one thinks about gay marriage, it only matters what we think about taking away people’s rights.

This is a time when we have to call upon the best in ourselves to help others, whether their choices affect us or not. You may think that since you aren’t gay, this proposition doesn’t affect you. But what will you say when someone tries to take your rights away? The sad fact is, most people in this country were only “awarded” the right to vote less than 100 years ago! Will people try to take that away? What will be our argument if this dangerous precedent is set?

Most people understandably forget that it’s not only people of color who have been discriminated against in this country. If it has slipped your mind, just go to Boston and ask the Irish what they went through or go to New York City and ask the Italians what they went through just to get off the street, get decent jobs and get their children into good schools.

If we begin to take away people’s rights now, how will we stop it in the future?

You’re probably asking yourself why I waited until the night before the election to try to change people’s minds. I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind about gay marriage, I’m appealing to what people already know to be true. America has fantastic ideals and the potential to be a great country. Our founding fathers came together and decided that this country should above all else be about equality, that every person here should be treated equally. Yes, it takes a long time to get to that idea, but it is up to us in the present to keep marching towards that goal. We owe it to them, we owe it to ourselves and we owe it to our children.

Always vote against discrimination. Equality for EVERYONE.

[© 2008 MD TOTAL. All rights reserved.]
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This Crazy City

2008-11-02T11:07:00.000-08:00